


The personal journal of Scribe-Adept Rewalt Mason

by InquisitorVawn



Category: Adeptus Administratum, Warhammer - All Media Types, Warhammer 40.000
Genre: Gen, Horror, Other, Science Fiction, Slice of Life, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-07-16 20:42:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 66
Words: 53,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7284013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InquisitorVawn/pseuds/InquisitorVawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The personal journal of Scribe-Adept Rewalt Mason of the Adeptus Administratum Office of Tithing and Export Management. Everyday life for an everyday man in Hive Minos on the world of Asphodel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Quartday, Jaufre 16th 067.M42

Today the God-Emperor has blessed me! The focus and diligence with which I have applied myself to my duties as Transcript-Adept in the Office of Tithing and Export Management has been noticed by my superiors, and I have been ascended to the privileged role of Scribe-Adept, second only to our shift lead Scribe-Master Lorea Warders.

But I am not the only one who He has smiled on Today. Scribe-Master Warders herself has had a blessed day as well. It would seem that our usual Scribe-Master Atwater simply failed to turn up for shift, and refused to respond to any calls to locate him. So he is deemed to have abandoned his honoured duty, and Scribe-Adept Warders was moved up into his place. And in the absence left by her good fortune, I was similarly ascended!

My new duties as a Scribe-Adept are challenging. No longer do I simply copy a column of numbers from the Tithe Ledgers to the Office of Tithing and Export Management cogitator systems. Now I am responsible for verifying the work done by my row of Transcript-Adepts beneath me, and where provided by Scribe-Master Warders it is my duty to enter records of vox-captured communications into the blessed cogitator. An interesting challenge, but one that I am sure He would not have provided me were I not capable of performing this duty.

With my new duties comes an extra stipend of fifty scrip a week and the privilege of a full week off duty every Devotional. I nearly wept with joy, the news was so unexpectedly grand. And Throne forgive me, but I had to give in to my weakness and take advantage of my new bounty rather than immediately making a tithe of thanks at the Shrine - I've needed a new data slate for so long, I just had to go and buy this one. But I vow that from today, my weekly tithe will be doubled to make up for my display of avarice.

It would appear that Charon and Persephone both smile today. The luck of the full pair is mine, and I shall give thanks to Him for His blessing today.

**Thought for the day: If you cannot succeed, strive to at least fail gracefully.**


	2. Septday, Jaufre 19th 067.M42

Father Rainaud bid us say an extra prayer tonight for the souls who have gone missing from their homes and places of work. It's a sad state of affairs, every day you hear of someone just… disappearing. A flyer is put on a wall, a notice is read out in Shrine, a memo goes out in the Administratum bulletin. Sometimes they're found safe. More often not. And more often than that, they're not found at all. So we pray to Him, that He will keep His gaze on them and should the worst befall them, then He will see them safe to His side.

I made sure, beyond my extra tithe for the week, to add another ten scrip to the collection plate tonight. Father Rainaud has been collecting for the Orphanarium again, one of the missing is a young mother from our very own congregation. He says she simply didn't report for her shift at the public Librarium the other day, and hasn't been seen since. Her husband was PDF, mustered for the Guard Tithe this year just gone. He was a child of the Orphanarium, and her only kin is a sister who works on in one of the Agri-camps serving Tartarus - she has no capacity to take on her sister's wards. So like their father before them, the children go to the Orphanarium, and the congregation will do what we can to sponsor their needs, at least until one is old enough to work for their living.

I pray she will return safe, but secretly in my heart, I have my doubts. For a mother to leave two young children alone and just disappear… some ill must have befallen her. Emperor watch over her.

I had wanted to write some more of my new duties - they're fascinating, but so time and energy consuming. I've barely made it home on my feet before falling into my bed the last two nights. But I feel it might not be appropriate to revel in my good fortune in the light of the news of those poor children. Perhaps tonight I might leave this journal with my thoughts of their mother and my prayers for them.

**Thought for the Day: The only thing worse than dying young is life eternal.**


	3. Quinday, Jaufre 24th 067.M42

I heard from one of my neighbours today that we managed to raise enough money through the Shrine collection to provide extra for those poor orphans for at least a month. We caught the lift up to our floor together, I held the doors for her because she had her arms full of bags of groceries, she smiled and said thanks but then said she had so many bags because she was making dinner for her boyfriend. I didn't know she had a boyfriend, but… I wasn't really wondering. I suppose she was concerned that I was being friendly for selfish reasons, which upsets me. I should hope I never give that impression.

But her news put my heart a little more at ease. I was wondering if I should have put more in myself, but I'd already committed to doubling my weekly tithe before the collection came around, and that leaves little of my extra scrip available for, well, anything. 

I should like to take some time during my extra furlough during Devotional to go to the Spire and see the Grand Cathedral, and to be able to afford that I will need to put away what extra scrip I can. Though again, I find myself wondering. Is it selfish to want to hoard that scrip, to put it away for the purposes of taking myself up to see the more lavish Cathedral of the Emperor, and perhaps in that time to spend a night or two in a nice accommodation in the Spire? After all, that scrip could be better served - being collected for the Orphans, going to the homeless kitchen that the Father runs, being donated to others with more need than I. I have a home, I have clothes and food and a link to the Feed, a new dataslate and a job that furnishes it all. I could do more with my blessings.

But then it's never said anywhere that He wants us to make ourselves destitute for those around. We should help one another, we should ensure that we tithe well to the Ecclesiarchy and we should live within modest means for our station in life - but Father Rainaud has never spoken a lesson in my hearing that requires us to give everything. And surely a trip to the grandest of His places of worship in Minos is a conceit worth saving for? I would like to go to praise Him in the very seat of His followers on this world, the original Cathedral set up by our Lord Jaufre Bernault, father of Asphodel. I've heard much of the frescoes and glasswork, the Cathedral is said to be a marvel of our world. And a chance to sing His chorus in those hallowed halls is yet another blessing in my small, insignificant life.

I would like to think I have the balance right. But it never hurts to look at one's motivations and reasoning. Complacency is the weapon of the Enemy, and we should be ever vigilant for our own failings. 

**Thought for the Day: Holiness is a constant battle, for it takes much less effort to fall than it does to ascend.**


	4. Sextday, Jaufre 25th 067.M42

A new intake of Transcript-Adepts were inducted today. Looking at all of those bright-eyed young faces made me feel nostalgic for a moment. I remember being that young, that curious and eager. And how overwhelming it was to step into these halls and see just how many souls worked day and night to see His will be done, to ensure that the tithe is made and that our world is healthy and prosperous. 

The new Transcript-Adept for my row is a young woman by the name of Madalene Kader. Her file indicates that she had left schola in her thirteenth year after her father succumbed to a blood fever, leaving her and her three younger brothers in the care of their mother. She seems to have spent the last couple of years working as the assistant to a shopkeeper, managing his data and reporting for his taxes and tariffs, so she's well placed to step up now into our humble Office. She also seems prone to thinking and asking questions - I've yet to establish if this is a positive trait or one that should be cut off at the source. I suppose I'll have to keep an eye on her.

Otherwise my work has been particularly fulfilling of late. My row is performing well, we have less than a three percent transcription error rate, the lowest error rate in our floor shift. Scribe-Master Warder gave me permission to buy sweet-starch rolls as a celebration for them, and if we manage to maintain or improve on that error rate for the rest of the month, then we will be further rewarded with an opportunity to leave early on the first Primoday in Guire. It was a great feeling to be able to tell them that, and seeing their heads bowed and their fingers flying over their cogitator keyboards with renewed purpose was a sight to stir my heart and make me proud. I have every faith that they can do this.

One of the questions Kader asked today was why the data we transcribe is received in through the Feed, produced by printer-servitors into a hard copy and date-stamped, then allocated out amongst the floor in great bins that are distributed equally amongst the transcript-adepts to be transcribed back into the central cogitator, before the hard copy files are taken to the archive stack and filed. I told her that it was not our place to question - we are given our orders and it is our duty to fulfil them as instructed to the best of our ability. 

With further consideration, it might be best to counsel Kader to keep those sorts of thoughts in her head. She's bright enough to have a good future in the Office, but asking too many questions about things that are not her concern is likely to stifle any chance of progress that she may have. It would be a pity if she got into a habit of trying to be too clever and found herself suffering for it.

**Thought for the Day: Be mindful of your thoughts. A wandering mind often finds itself in dark places.**


	5. Septday, Jaufre 26th 067.M42

Id just lieke to put it on redord that Transcribeddadapt MaddyKader is a reallly reallllyreally nice person. and FUNNY

relllyfunny. i nearly spit my drink when she did that aimproession of Senios Stack Mssteer Arovka OMGE it was the best thing ever

im glad shes on my team

**Thought for the Day: BEER**


	6. Primoday, Jaufre 27th 067.M42

Throne have mercy on me, I paid today for the excesses of yesterday eve. I knew that my debauchery had caught me up when I was woken by my alarm piercing my brain like the drill of a dental chirurgeon into a rotten tooth. And it went downhill from there.

An issue with the water systems meant my shower was ice cold, and I had to boil water on the stove to be able to wash my breakfast dishes. Nursing my sore head and seeking some analgesics in my bathroom cabinet meant I nearly ended up late for my shift - trying to run to catch myself up was an exercise in self-torture. And no less than I deserve, I should suppose. I made it to the floor with less than fifteen minutes to spare, with my cogitator managing to finally log in as the workday chimes sounded. I am thankful that He had mercy on me in that moment, it would show so poorly to be too hung over to make it to my shift on time in the first two weeks of my ascension.

I took some small succour from the idea that if I felt so wretched, surely Transcript-Adept Kader, who had drunk twice what I had consumed (despite her much smaller body mass!), would feel just as wretched if not doubly so… Or I would have taken some succor, had I not looked around from my desk only to see that infuriating grin spanning her freckled features! I do not know what manner of witch she might be, but she showed no sign of having upended herself in her cups last night. Where I could barely face the light of the lumens in the high gallery of the hall, she was laughing and chatting in her breaks like she was at a ladies' social! Next time we go drinking, I need to ask her what her secret must be.

My work for the week has been allocated. More transcriptions of vox transmissions between the Hadrigan Cartel and the Rogue Trader Lord-Captain Grazanias Drexor, conflicting trade offers from the Kai-Ten Conglomerate and House Franke. Each record is at least thirteen hours long, so just the three of them are going to take well over half the week - even if I don't take into account my other duties such as monitoring the Transcript-Adepts in my row and keeping an eye on the allocation of work between them. But I shouldn't moan. Three business meetings are nothing compared to what I've heard I can expect come the next Gathering. I should get my practice in now, so I'm ready for the onrush in two months' time. And having work to practice on in the interim means I hopefully shouldn't flounder come time to rush.

My row are continuing to go well, today I received the official error rate for last week - two point nine three percent. Since the last audit was undertaken, my team has improved their performance by less than half a percent, but it is still an improvement. If we keep working hard for this week, then we'll get that time off in the next! We just have to knuckle down and focus. And despite her irritatingly cheerful hang over proof nature and propensity to ask questions, the last couple of days have shown Madalene to be an accurate and fast worker. I simply hope she can keep up this performance, if she does she stands to easily become the best performer in the team. And she might yet set an example for some of the others on either side.

**Thought for the Day: A life spent in the pursuit of glory is but a prelude to the noble death of a hero.**

Addendum: Madalene asked me today how we were receiving this information from all of the trading cartels, marketing houses and various other institutions whose finances we oversee. She said that when she worked for the shopkeeper, she sent through a fraction of the information that we seem to have access to.

I've had to ask again for her to keep her questions to herself. We are handed the information from the Scribe-Master, who receives if from the Stack-Master, who receives it from Senior Stack Master Yevgem Arovak. It is our Duty to know this information, to type it into the cogitators as required. Knowing where the information comes from or how it was furnished to us is not our business. I hope she takes note of these warnings. I'd hate to have to discipline her for this.


	7. Tertioday, Jaufre 29th 067.M42

I'm incredibly proud of my row right now, they continue to focus hard on improving their error rate and I'm seeing improvements every time I do a spot-check on their work. Transcript-Adept Kader has been an absolute star in this aspect. As a new adept, I have her on a 75 percent check rate - I am checking 75% of the work that she completes, and so far she's had one hundred percent accuracy. I'm considering dropping her to fifty percent, she seems to have a good handle on the work. I'm very pleased, to say the least. Scribe-Adept Luka has been having no end of issues with his new Transcript-Adept. I'll not admit to feeling rather smug about that, he always bragged about how much better his row was than ours. Not that I'm smug at all.

I've found it interesting to be transcribing the business negotiation records as well. It's intriguing to see the inner workings of the business that keeps our world prosperous and displays our loyalty to the Emperor. But… I think I noticed something odd today when I was transcribing the negotiations between Lord-Captain Drexor and the representative of the Kai-Ten Conglomerate. I thought that these negotiations were recorded as a matter of course, and the representatives of the organisations in question would forward the recordings to us for the good of the Administratum. Now I'm… not so sure.

The Lord-Captain and the Kai-Ten representative were talking business, as was expected. I'd stopped paying much active attention to the recording - it tends to be much easier to transcribe these details if you just, well it's a bit hard to explain, but you really need to stop focusing on the content and just let your fingers produce the words that you hear. It sounds ridiculous, I know. But I'd settled into a rhythm and was a few hours into the recording when I decided to pause and review my work, going over what I'd typed and checking any parts that didn't make sense or seemed grammatically unsound against the recording to make sure I'd actually written what was being said. And as I was checking my transcription I realised that the Kai-Ten representative had said something to the Lord-Captain about a sample escaping. It seemed curious enough that I flagged it, but the Lord-Captain's response was much more curious to me. He said that it was a matter that they would have to discuss on his ship, because - and I quote - "We don't know who is listening in these damned places, all of the walls have ears…". And then the discussion moved on to more prosaic matters.It just seemed odd to me. It seems odd that the Lord-Captain and the Kai-Ten representative would have business that they would want to conceal from the Administratum. We aren't here to interfere in their business, but simply to log the imports and exports and make sure the tithe is fairly met. But the way the Lord-Captain spoke, it was like he suspected that they were being recorded, but wasn't actually sure. Surely he would know that we listen, for the very reasons that I outlined?

It is incredibly curious. So I flagged the whole exchange and continued with the rest of the file. I do hope that the Lord-Captain and the Kai-Ten are not planning anything perfidious. It would be a shame to see a Lord-Captain stripped of his warrant, and one of the premier trading conglomerates of our world taken out of business. It could only mean harm for Asphodel as a whole. But it will be escalated from me to the Scribe-Master and on above her if it is deemed necessary. If there is falsehood or treachery in their dealings, it will be brought to light.

**Thought for the Day: All those who think themselves above the will of the Emperor will find they are deathly incorrect.**


	8. Septday, Guire 2nd 067.M42

We had a Mason family dinner today. Cordell had furlough this week, and Arlean managed to get a rare afternoon away from her clinic, so Mum called me around for dinner. I nearly said no, Kader wanted to go out for drinks again but it has been a while since I saw the family. And if I'm truthful, I don't know that my head would survive another night drinking with Kader.

Mum and Dad are well. Dad tells me he had a bit of a scare with his health recently, he was having some pains in his chest, but he saw the Medicae on Flyte street and they did a scan and couldn't find anything wrong. He thinks it was just indigestion but I could tell Mum was still worried. After all, his own brother died of a heart failure not five years ago. But he looked healthy enough to me, maybe he's right.

Cordell is the same as ever. I think he's still unhappy about having missed the last muster and being "stuck" here, as he puts it. Never mind poor little Mei. Mum asked after her again, and all he could say is that she's "okay". I'll bet he hasn't even gone to see her in a month or more. I would like to see my niece, but I don't even know where her mother lives. Or whether she'd be happy to see her deadbeat ex's little brother show up on her doorstep. 

It's just so frustrating. I don't know if he doesn't see or if he just outright tries to ignore how much it hurts Mum that he's got this beautiful little girl, and he barely goes to see her let alone brings her to see the rest of the family. We met her once, just after she was born and then he's just gone ahead deciding to be an arse ever since. I don't know. Perhaps I need to go to the public stacks and try to find her details in the birth records. Maybe from there I'll be able to find out who her mother is and look her up in the vox directory. Maybe at least I can show her that the rest of the family aren't all frag-heads like my brother.

Eliza could barely sit still for the duration of dinner. She's finished up her schooling and has applied to the Mechanicus Shrine to join their order as a Tech-Adept, and is now in the period of meditation and consideration before they'll take her on formally. I think this is only a formality, she had to be told twice by Mum not to bring her projects to the dinner table, as gears and spring coils don't go well with re-grox stew. After dinner she took me to her workshop - actually, it used to be mine and Cordell's bedroom, then it was Mum's cogitator room, but now it's been taken over entirely by Lizzy's machines and tools and various bits and pieces. She tried to explain to me what the various things she was working on were, but I couldn't follow. She talks at a million kloms an hour when it comes to her machinery, and sometimes it feels like asking her to slow down and explain is just a chore. She's so smart, I think she's going to go far with the Priesthood. I just hope she doesn't forget us when she does.

And Arlean is, well. Arlean. Her clinic has been run off their feet lately, there seems to be some sickness passing around the lower hive. Nobody knows what it is, people are going missing for two, three, four days then suddenly showing up again seeming feverish, lethargic, pale and clammy and with no good reason for their absence, or in some cases showing a complete denial that they were absent at all. She says that nothing shows up in their blood tests or the few they've had the scrip and resources to perform body and brain scans on are showing nothing out of the ordinary - no brain damage, no tumours, no signs of drugs in their body. All that they can do is offer them some pain relief and anti-inflammatories to hopefully break the fever, then send them home with instructions for fluid and rest. None seem to have come back with escalated symptoms, so that's good. But it appears to be virulent, with people from several hab-blocks and shelters who live in close proximity all coming in within a few days. And she says that several other clinics in the lower levels are reporting the same. I asked her if it's been reported to anyone, and she told me that her supervisors are tracking cases and reporting up to the Spire health department. It sounds scary though. I hope it doesn't make its way too far up the hive. It sounds like it has the potential to be a real problem, and it's getting worse from what she's saying.

But it was good to see them all again. I don't know if we'll be able to have another family dinner before Lizzy goes to the Shrine, but I'll certainly try to get up and see at least her and Mum and Dad before she does. It was a good night, and now I have a week's worth of re-grox stew to reheat for leftovers. Thanks Mum!

**Thought for the Day: Have no shame, for you are a child of the Emperor– born into greatness.**


	9. Primoday, Guire 3rd 067.M42

The results came in today.

My row officially had an error rate for Jaufre of… wait for it… Two point four seven percent! Less than two and a half percent by the time the full month was accounted for! I was so happy to be able to give the order for them to leave an hour early today. The looks on their faces when the announcement was made and I got to tell them they would get that early finish, they were so proud.

The whole team really pulled together and put their minds to the task, but I've got to admit that the star of the month was Transcribe-Adept Kader. She's kept up a flawless one hundred percent accuracy rate. I'd almost suspect she had a memorance implant, but she claims to have no augmetics whatsoever and that she just has a head for data. She seemed almost embarrassed as I was reading the report out though. I didn't realise she was so shy, she always seems so confident and outspoken. Though I guess it might not be shyness, more modesty… which is an admirable trait, I have to admit. Not one that I would automatically think to ascribe to her, but it's an appealing one.

Kader asked again if I'd like to come for a drink with her, and I would have but during my break today I managed to get Cordell on the vox and actually get some information out of him about Mei for once. Well, I say some information. He admitted that his name is on her birth log and that she is formally named Mei-Lin Mason… and that his PDF wages are being garnished for support. A bitter pill that must be for him to swallow, I'm sure, given how little he seems to want to be involved with her. But that was an amazing break. I have an old scrumball mate who is an adept in the Departmento Munitorum's payroll division, and if Cordell is being forced to pay support for Mei, then I figured her mother would have to keep her details up-to-date in the Munitorum records. 

Thankfully I still had Goran's personal vox frequency from the last time the team caught up for a drink and a shinny, so once I got home I gave him a call. He was a little reluctant at first. I understand that totally. It didn't feel good to ask a fellow adept to use his privileged position for my benefit. But… I thought a lot about this last night after I left Mum and Dad's place. I'd like to at least offer Mei's mum a chance for her daughter to know the rest of the family. If she doesn't want to, then that's fine. I'll interfere no more and leave her to her business with Cordell. But it makes my heart hurt to think that my little niece might want to know her grandparents and aunts and uncle, and she can't because Cordell's being a fragger.

Thankfully in the end Goran agreed that it's a pity that Mei is possibly being kept from her kin by my brother's selfishness. He said it'll take him a couple of days to find the data and transfer it to me, but once he does then at least I'll have the mother's vox frequency and her address, and I can try to make an approach. And if this all works, then I think I'll have just managed to swing the greatest Matron's Day ever.

**Thought for the Day: There is no greater duty than that of the parent, for theirs is the duty to produce more souls to venerate the Emperor's glory and to fight His enemies.**


	10. Quartday, Guire 6th 067.M42

There was an incident on the magrail today. I'm not entirely sure what it was, but we were somewhere around halfway between Central and the thirteenth precinct when we just stopped. Rather suddenly, too. Many of the passengers standing in the aisles were nearly thrown from their feet. I'm thankful I'd been early enough to get a seat, but in the end that almost turned out to be a hindrance because it made it nearly impossible to get to the exits.

We were stopped for nearly twenty minutes before an announcement was even made, and there was really nothing of use included in it. Just a half-hearted apology for any "inconvenience" caused, but no explanation of why we were just sitting there, or when we'd get moving again.

I like to make sure I give myself adequate time when leaving home of a morning. At least an hour and a half, if not two. If all goes well, I should be at work within the hour. But it rarely goes well. If the elevator is working and I don't have to descend fourteen flights of stairs, then it's generally a relatively quick walk to the Central interchange, but then there's the queues at the barrier gates, contending with the escalators, finding the correct platform. The last few weeks it seems that the Departmento Commutorum has been throwing dice randomly to determine which platform the train should come in on, which has been making every morning an adventure.

Once I'm on the train, it's generally not too bad. Some days I get a seat, some days I have to stand. Swings and roundabouts really. Standing usually means I can manoeuvre myself closer to the doors, which makes it easier to get out when we arrive at Thirteenth. Sitting means I'm at least off my feet for twenty to thirty minutes. But then, like today, I'm usually behind a jam-packed pile of humanity when the time comes to get off at my stop. Not so much of an issue when I've got my full allowance of time available - it's a bit more of a problem when we spend nearly fifty minutes sitting there with nothing happening and no updates as to why we aren't moving anywhere.

Thankfully we did get under way again before people started getting the urge to prise the doors open and make a break on the rails on foot. That would have just ended up slowing us up even further if they had. But we were very, very late getting into Thirteenth. Normally I would walk, it's another twenty minutes and the walk isn't too terrible. Thirteenth has some nice avenues with some of the higher vaulted ceilings, and as the buildings are all various Administratum offices, they're generally quite well-constructed and set a bit further back from the streets, so it feels a bit less claustrophobic than other areas. But this morning I had little choice. If I'd walked, I might have just made it in time if I'd hustled and run. But I'm not a fan of getting to work sweating under my robes. So a bit more of my precious bonus scrip went to hiring a motor-trike driver to deliver me in the right direction. Five minutes late to clock-in. Scribe-Master Waders had a strict word for me, though I was able to provide the update from the magrail feed proving that the trains had been delayed by an unspecified incident and she was willing to accept this. And as this was my first offence this year, I managed to escape with a warning not to let it happen again and an order to make up the deficit from my meal break. It could have been worse. I know that Scribe-Master Ordanse doesn't give warnings - if you're late, you're terminated.

The rest of my work day passed without incident. Kader has fit in well to the quality rota, I have yet to uncover a single mistake in any of my random checks of her work. The rest of the team are continuing to perform well. Their recent celebration for our record-breaking accuracy rate seems to have spurred them on, and they're still leading the floor in terms of accuracy. I have a new case-load of vox transmissions to transcribe, business dealings between minor traders and some of the material production facilities. Reports from Achlys tell of a new series of ore veins that have been uncovered, providing a new surplus for the tithe and hopefully allowing us to build up a bit of a buffer for any lean times that may be upcoming.

Goran's data transfer came through last night. He managed to find me Mei's mother's full name, her address and vox frequency. Daisy Xia-Yung. Hab 1528, Elysian Heights in the twenty-fourth precinct. So it's a bit of a hike from work, but not terribly far from Mum and Dad's place. Which makes sense. I think based on what Cordell has said in the past, he and Daisy met in schola so yeah. It's not a surprise she lives somewhere in that direction. I tried to call her during my break, but she didn't answer. She might have been at her own job, it was the middle of the day shift after all. If I can't get in touch with her via vox, I might try dropping around after work in a couple of days. I would like to call her first, and make sure it's okay, but we'll see.

**Thought for the Day: The only thing separating civilized society from savages is regular maintenance.**

Addendum: So I was just about to sign off for the night when I just got a call. I'd hoped it was Daisy, but it was actually Kader. She just asked me if I'd like to go to dinner with her tomorrow. I thought she'd said "us", meaning the row, so I said yes because I quite enjoy spending time with my teammates, but when I said I was surprised that she hadn't asked me while we were still at work, she said that she didn't want anybody else sticking their nose in our business. I didn't even know "we" had business. But I've said yes, so I'm not about to renege on that agreement. So I guess I'm going to dinner with Kader tomorrow. 

Maybe I'll try to catch up with Daisy and Mei on Sextday. At least that's my off day, so I don't have to worry I'll be getting there after Mei's gone to bed.


	11. Sextday, Guire 8th 067.M42

I found my niece today.

I tried calling her mother on Quartday, after I'd gotten her number from an old friend the day before. She didn't answer. I assumed she was at work.

I tried calling that evening, still no answer. I didn't think anything of it, Throne knows I miss enough calls from time-to-time when I'm too busy or just don't feel like talking to someone.

I was going to call yesterday evening, but Madalene asked me out for dinner and it kind of slipped my mind. I knew I'd resolved to go and try to visit her today, so I didn't bother trying to call when I got in after we finished.

I don't know if it would have made a difference if I did. I don't think it would have changed anything.

I decided to take a chance on Daisy working a similar schedule to me, and left before lunch to try and get to her place. It's a bit of journey to the twenty-fourth precinct. Two magrails and a bit of a walk from where I got off the second. I thought I'd get there a little after lunch time, which I did.

Elysian Heights is pretty much what I expected, your average hab-block in your average mid-hive precinct. Kind of like my place in a way, maybe a little further down the scale. There were pict-captors in the lobby, but no security desk. At least the elevator worked.

I got to the fifteenth floor. 1528 was in the second hall. I could hear other people in their habs, some talking, some watching the holocasts, some arguing. Pretty standard hab-life. I found 1528. It had a welcome mat outside, with a smiling face printed under the word "welcome". I remember thinking how odd it was to have a welcome mat in a hab hallway, but I didn't think anything else when I knocked.

There was no answer. It was a risk I'd taken, assuming she'd be home when I got there unannounced. I was going to turn and head down the hall when I heard it. A child crying. I couldn't tell how old. I couldn't tell if it was male or female. It was faint enough at first that I thought it was one of the habs further down the hall. But something felt wrong. I knocked again, harder. The crying got closer, like the child was walking toward the door.

I started pounding on it. Nobody answered.

I went to the next door neighbours. Most of them didn't answer. One did, a young guy two doors down. He said he'd heard crying each time he went past that hab coming or going for the last two or three days, but he knew there was a kid there, knew she was a toddler so he figured it was just kid tantrum time. Didn't think to look in on things. You don't bother your neighbours unless they bother you, and he only heard it in passing as he walked past.

I called the Magistratum. They took their time arriving. I could hear her crying on the other side of the door. I sat down on that mat and tried to talk to her through the door, tried to tell her someone was coming. But finally they got there. I explained who I was, gave my ident card and let them run it. I told them to run my full background, bring up Cordell's details, so that they'd know I had a reason to be there. I don't know if they did or not. But they heard her crying too. One of the Magisters had a multi-key, thank the Throne, so he was able to get the door open without having to risk breaking it down. 

They didn't let me in. But they brought her out. She was skinny and filthy and crying, hair matted and naked from the waist down. The Magister who took her out said they found a soiled nappy on the living room floor, and signs that it had been taken off at least a few days earlier from the… mess… they said was left on the carpets. They told me they'd take her to the local infirmary, told me to call her father and get him to present to the medical staff so she could be released into his custody. They said that from the state of things in the hab, she might have been left alone for four or five days, maybe up to a week. 

They didn't let me accompany them. I had to get Cordell first, he's her parent. They gave me a report number for his CO after I told them he was PDF and back on duty. I called Mum and Dad, then I called the number that they gave me for family emergencies for PDF members. I had to leave a message. 

There wasn't anything to do after that. The Magisters locked up the hab. Said it was a crime scene, and they would be looking into whether Daisy had abandoned Mei, or if there was some sign of foul play occurring to her. I gave my testimony, was told to return home and wait for further contact if they needed me.

I left. Got a call from Cordell's CO while I was on my way and went through the story again. He said he'd ship him back on the first transport, but he'd likely be a day or two as they'd gone up to the orbitals for zero-gee exercises and a return shuttle had to be arranged. I thanked him and he asked if I wanted to pass on a personal message to my brother.

I told him to tell my brother that this is his fault.

**Thought for the Day: You can't abdicate responsibility for a life you've created and get away with your soul untainted.**


	12. Primoday, Guire 10th 067.M42

Cordell arrived back on-planet yesterday, his CO managed to get him on a return shuttle first thing in the morning, so he was back before the middle of the day. I haven't spoken to him directly yet, but from what Mum has said, he went straight to the infirmary to see Mei and provide his ident docs to take custody of her. She has to stay in for a few more days, she's severely dehydrated and in the beginning stages of malnourishment, but apart from that she seems to be physically well. They're keeping her to get her fluids back up, to get some nutrition in her and to make sure there's no ongoing physical problems from… from what she's been through.

Mum is talking of getting Cordell to sign custody over to her and Dad. He was shocked by what happened to her… my brother may be an arse, but he's not a monster… but he's still enlisted. He's been given emergency family leave to deal with this, but he only has a few weeks before he has to go back on duty. He has to make some arrangements for her before then. She says that he told her Daisy's family had disowned her after she fell pregnant to him and that they'd seen Mei even less than he did, so she and Dad are really the only people who can take her on. Who deserve to take her on. Mum has wanted to have a relationship with her granddaughter for so long. Just not in this way.

That poor little girl. If I hadn't gotten fed up with my brother being such a terrible father, hadn't decided to abuse my friend's privileged position, to chase her down… I shudder to think.

The Magisters still have nothing to say about Daisy's disappearance. The only thing we've been told is there was no indication of foul play in the hab. They're saying she left her baby girl there alone, locked the door behind herself and just… left. I want to know if they've checked the picter footage from the lobby, any of the security-picts from the streets outside. I guess they'll tell Cordell if there's anything relevant to the situation that arises.

My work has almost been a blessing in the last two days. I've thankfully been able to bury myself in the files, in transcribing and data verification. It helps the hours pass a lot more easily, so I'm not wound up in pacing and fretting and wishing for updates. Though I have been checking my slate obsessively in my breaks.

I have also told Scribe-Master Warders of what happened, though I hastened to reassure her that I had no intention of letting the situation affect my work. But I felt it wise to keep her up-to-date in case some further emergency arose, and I needed to use my family allowance to take some personal time off. She said that she understood, and wished us all well. Once again, I am thankful that my Scribe-Master is a reasonable person, some of the others are really much worse.

The whole thing just makes me feel sick with worry. I don't know what would be worse - the thought that Daisy knowingly walked out and abandoned Mei without any intention of returning, or that she would have had to step out for some unknown reason and met with some ill fate. I hope they find her, regardless.

**Thought for the Day: Through the Emperor, all things are made possible– not easy.**


	13. Secunday, Guire 11th 067.M42

Madalene came up to me while we were on break today. I'd been trying to get Mum on the vox, to see if I could get an update about what was going on with Mei, but she wasn't answering. I think she might have been busy, she has been a bit, between appointments with the doctors and the Order Famulous, trying to arrange custody for Mei. I'm sure she'll call me back some time this evening.

I don't know how long she'd been watching me, not long I think. I didn't get the impression that she'd been spying on me or anything. But I was in the hall, finishing up the vox message that I was leaving for Mum, when she came around the corner and caught my eye. I haven't told anyone apart from Scribe-Master Warders about the situation - I don't really think it's all that relevant to anyone. I've been trying to keep a calm face and just carrying on with my work but… Kader's perceptive. I guess that's why she's so good at her work.

She didn't ask what was going on, she just kind of touched my arm and said if I ever needed anyone to talk to, I could always talk to her. Or if I wanted a drink any time she'd take me out, her treat. I didn't really know what to say to that. I'm afraid I think I might have made a bit of a fool of myself, I didn't really say yes or no, I just kind of stuttered out something like "That would be nice…" or something, I can't quite remember.

But she laughed. So I must have said something amusing. Her nose scrunches up a little when she laughs. I'd never really noticed that before.

Maybe I'll take her up on that drink tomorrow.

**Thought for the Day: Fear is permissible. Cowardice is not.**


	14. Quinday, Guire 14th 067.M42

Things finally seem to have calmed down somewhat after a pretty intense few days. Cordell has officially signed custody papers for Mum and Dad to take care of Mei. He'll be staying with them for another week - for all that he was an absent gak-head of a father, Mei at least recognises him out of everyone in our family. He's settling her in with Mum and Dad, then he'll have to go back on duty. She came out of the infirmary yesterday, and Mum and Dad got to take her home with them. During all of this, Lizzy made her final decision and packed her things to go to the shrine. So they kind of swapped one baby girl for another - but it frees up her and Arlean's old room to be set up for Mei, so there's that at least.

Though Mum says that Mei's terrified of being left alone. She'll sleep when she's held or someone's sitting and reading to her, or doing something quietly in the same room, but if you leave before she falls fully asleep or if she wakes to find herself alone she'll dissolve into hysterics. Not that I blame her, poor little thing. So Mum's considering now if she's even going to go back to work once her emergency leave is finished. They have some money put by, Dad's salary as a Senior Adept is a decent amount for two people who are careful with their money… And with Daisy gone and Mei in their custody, the garnish on Cordell's wages will go straight to them. So with some care they should be able to afford things. And of course, I'll do what I can - buy her clothes or toys as and when I can. It's the least I can do.

I also ended up going to get that drink with Madalene. I have to admit to being a little cautious, given the result of our last drinking session together, but this was nothing like that. Last time we'd gone out with the rest of the team, and she and I managed to outpace everyone else - to my intense dismay the next morning. But this time was… it was nice. We found a little hole-in-the-wall bar toward the wall-end of Fourteenth, stuffed down an alley between a chirurgeon's office and a bail loan office. The place was great, all grox-hide stools and tables made from repurposed munition crates, a handful of regulars and no holo-screen blaring on the wall. I've got the higher pay packet, but Kader was the one who got the drinks. I tried to protest and at least give her some scrip, but she wouldn't take it. Said that she didn't have much else to spend it on.

And we just had a few drinks and talked. She said it had been obvious that something was going on the last few days, she said I wasn't smiling as much as I normally do, but that if I didn't want to talk about it we wouldn't. She just wanted me to know that she'd noticed and was concerned. I'd thought that I wasn't going to tell her, but as we kept talking I just found it kind of coming out. I started off talking about Cordell, she told me about her brothers and it just went from there. She also told me about her dad dying, about having to start work to make sure her Mum could keep her and her brothers fed, about finding solace in the data and the numbers. She says that when everything seemed to be collapsing around her, data was solid. It was true and while the results could be manipulated, if you had the data from the source it was immutable. I… I kind of get that. I've never been through anything as hard as what she has, but what she said made sense to me. When things have gotten hard for me, my work has always been something I can take comfort in. 

After we finished with the drinks, we walked back to the Magrail station together. We both had to get back to Central, but she swapped to another train, while I had to head out to walk. I walked her to her platform and waited with her until she boarded her next train. She hugged me before she left. Her head barely came up to my shoulder and she smelt of amasec and something sweet that I couldn't quite put my finger on. It was… hard… to let her go, I have to admit. I stood there for a long while after her train had pulled away before I finally made my way out to head home.

But that's a worry in and of itself. I'm the Scribe-Adept for our row. She's my underling, my direct report. It would be one thing if we were on different rows, or different floors but we're not. I should be careful. We can be friends, but perhaps I need to distance myself a bit more to avoid any impropriety.

**Thought for the Day: The easy path is fraught with temptation; Downfall waits for those lacking the will to seek the proper way**


	15. Primoday, Guire 17th 067.M42

And we settle back into the routine that's the new normal for now. Everything seems to be going well with Mei, mum says she's still settling in quite well. Cordell's still there for a few more days before he has to go back on duty, but he's been leaving most of her care to Mum and Dad. I was a bit annoyed to hear that to be honest, until Mum explained the reasoning why - he's got to go back on duty. He's going to be gone for long stretches of time, months at a time even. They don't want to traumatise her any more than she already has been by giving her someone else to latch on to, then having him disappear again. By getting her used to Mum being her primary caregiver, then at least she's got someone stable there for her. It makes sense when I think about it.There's still no news on what happened to Daisy. The Magisters say they have some leads, but nothing concrete so they've been unwilling to provide any detail to us just yet.

Another batch of files for Lord-Captain Lord-Captain Drexor and the Kai-Ten Conglomerate came through a couple of days ago as well. I shouldn't really say more than that. This is my own private journal, and I certainly don't share it on the feed, but it would still be untoward to write anything much about the particulars of business dealings that I'm simply there to catalogue. There's a lot of hours of negotiations to type out and upload to the central cogitator, so once again that forms the bulk of my week's work. Once again, it's been really good to be able to just bury myself in these things. Even with zoning out through the typing, it's still keeping my mind occupied and off of my concerns.

I'm also pleased to note that my row seems to have settled out our error rate at 2.45 percent - that's the result of two weeks in a row. We'll see if it wavers any, but if we can maintain that as our long-term error rate, then I'll be very pleased with that, and I think Scribe-Master Warders is too. We're still by far the best and most consistent row on the floor, and rumour has it we may even be one of the best in the entire Office. We still have a bit to wait and maintain our performance before those results come out. Though with the way this year is passing, Ertrart will be on us before we even know it.

Oh! Small hive too. Malik Toten and I got to talking about scrumball in our break today. He told me that he used to play for his schola team down in thirty-third when I mentioned that I was catching up with some old buddies for a game in a couple of weeks. I remembered my schola playing against thirty-third more than a few times while I was there and asked when he played. He's a couple of years below me, but it turns out that we think we might have played in a few games together. It's hard to tell if you knew someone in schola scrumball, between the helmets and mouthguards and uniforms and all that. But we both remember a couple of the guys from each other's teams, and talking about a couple of the matches… If we're both thinking about the same game I might have dislocated his finger once. Thankfully he held no grudges over that. He says there's a couple of other guys who used to play in schola as well around the place, so we're considering whether we might see about rounding them up and make an unofficial five-a-side or something minor like that. Nothing official, just something we can get together once a week or so and kick and throw a ball around a bit and blow off some steam after a long week. It'll be good to get back into playing regularly too. I feel like I've packed on a few kilos since I started here, and even my regular jogs to and from the magrail stations aren't doing much to shift any of it.

**Thought for the Day: Beware frivolity. Decadence begets decay.**


	16. Quartday, Guire 20th 067.M42

The news feed says both Charon and Persephone are full again tonight. I can't hope for the same luck as I did last month, but still. Blessings of the full pair to any and all. 

We have received new surveying reports from Achlys this week, and everyone's on high alert about them. It seems that a new vein of antilium has been discovered, and from the reports that we're working on, it seems that it's a very significant one, possibly extending for several kloms through the mountain ranges. Both the Mechanicus and the senior Administratum are extremely excited about this, missives are going in every direction and we're having to work even harder to try to get them all captured and transcribed. They've even opened up the old cogitator banks on the lower floors, everyone is starting to work double shifts and overlapping so we need the extra floor capacity.A large, solid vein of antilium is good news on several fronts. One is that some of it can be refined and used right here on Asphodel, reducing our need to import metals from other worlds to help our construction and manufacturing concerns. But the other is that an increase in our material tithe means a corresponding decrease in our manpower tithe. If this vein pays out and extends as far as they think it does, and it's good quality metal, then we may be able to reduce our human tithe by as much as 5% for the next couple of cycles. Not that my brother will be happy to hear that. A reduced tithe means a reduced chance that he'll be drafted for it. But I know there's a lot of other families out there who will be happy that their sons and daughters are slightly less likely to be shipped off to a war front on the other side of the sector, if not the other side of the galaxy.

A surplus of antilium will also be good for our agricultural trade as well. It's been a dry season, and the pressure on Tartarus has been high. With some extra trade in metals, it means that we won't have to trade so much in produce from the projected reports that I'm seeing. That will be a boon for us if this dry spell continues and the harvest rates stay down. Perhaps that's the blessing of the Pair this time.Antilium usually comes paired with plyatrum as well. I'm already seeing some of the reports coming through speaking of the purity of the vein. A new source of plyatrum is going to have the artisans going crazy when this news is finally allowed to break. Not that we're going to see much of it down at these levels. It'll be bought up by all of the Nobles up in the spire, worked into jewellery and trinkets for their collections, but perhaps when I go to visit the Spire during Devotional, I might be able to pick up something small for Mum and Mei. And… Anyone else that I might like to give something to. If there is anyone by that time. I wouldn't be surprised if I see out my twenty-ninth year alone as well.

Throne, I can't believe I'll be twenty nine in a little under a month. I haven't even thought if I want to do anything for my nameday this year. Perhaps not. My thirtieth is next year. Maybe I'll just keep things quiet, have dinner with Mum and Dad and Mei, then gear up for a big thing next time around. That sounds like a plan. Especially because I don't know if the reporting on this antilium mine is going to be done by the seventeenth. I'd rather not be trying to arrange something while we're all pulling double shifts and having our rest days revoked. That would just make for a really crappy party.Maybe I'll ask Madalene if she wants to go for a drink. Or maybe I shouldn't. That's a bad idea. I know that's a bad idea, right? I shouldn't… But I think I really want to.

**Thought for the Day: Live every day is if it were your last, because it may well be.**


	17. Sextday, Guire 22nd 067.M42

Everyone got called in to a meeting today. Double shifts are officially in effect, the old cogitator banks are back online and rest days are recalled until further notice. We've received more reports on the depth and breadth of the antilium vein and, well… Everyone is getting excited about this. There was a data leak somewhere yesterday - not necessarily from our Office, but it's not confirmed that it wasn't us either. But the traders and merchant houses have found out, and applications for mining rights and refining contracts are starting to fly. 

It's going to get messy. The last time a significant ore vein was uncovered, we're told that it led to open warfare between House Chrydis and the Hadrigan Cartel. And while we weren't told the outcome of that battle, I haven't seen House Chrydis listed on any of the work orders that I've done since I've been here, nor have I ever heard their name in any of the break period gossip.

I also heard a rumour that an astropathic transmission was intercepted, though the stories vary between it being caught before it was properly encrypted and sent, and it being partially successful at getting some data off-world. That's a big worry. If off-world concerns have heard of the potential, we may end up with other Traders and fleets coming down to try and get their stakes laid as well. Though this could also be a partial benefit - more buyers means the price might hopefully be driven up further, but as I said - it's going to get messy.

The increase in work has been a blessing and a curse both in more than one way. It's exhausting. I'm barely able to keep my eyes open over my slate right now. I think I'll be crawling into bed as soon as I'm finished here. And it's kept my mind and my hands busy, focussed on what we're doing and not on… 

I can't make my mind up, it's confusing and infuriating and I wish I could just… figure it out. But I can't. Madalene is… She's my direct report. I can't be seen to be favouring her, that's just unconscionable and it's really, honestly against the rules. Fraternisation isn't expressly forbidden, but you are forbidden from showing personal favour or bias, and if it's suspected then you may be counselled and have your pay or breaks restricted and a mark put on your performance record. I don't want that. I'd like to move up, when Scribe-Master Warders moves on or is similarly ascended. And if there's any marks on my record, that may impede my progress. But she's… so nice. She's smart, she's funny… She can hold her liquor like a champion. She's great at the work we do, she's still hitting perfect benchmarks. And… she seems to like me. She asked me out again the other day, before we got the order to work the double shifts. I said I'd have to see when I could, but then we got the orders in and I wasn't able to answer her. I still don't know what to say.

Throne. Maybe I could do this. She's a great performer. I wouldn't have to manage her work that much… we could keep it quiet. Maybe… I don't know. Maybe I need to talk to her about it. Maybe I'm just assuming things and she's just a really nice person and wants to be nice to me for some reason.

Emperor, give me guidance please.

**Thought for the Day: Trust is something to be strenuously earned, not given freely.**


	18. Sextday, Guire 29th 067.M42

Today marks the end of the first week of doubles with no rest day. Twenty hour shifts. It's not even worth the time it takes to try to get home. By the time I do, I'd get maybe an hour or two sleep before I'd have to turn around and come back again. A lot of us have taken to bringing in sleeping sacks, and a few who did minimum service in the PDF have brought in their sleeping kit. You'll find people passed out in the dining hall, in the halls, in the office infirmary, sleeping where they fall. 

Personally I've found myself a rather comfortable space between the unsecured data stacks. There's a few of us in the stack room actually, but the noise from the stacks and the size of them makes it more like a series of little cubbies. It, well it could be worse. With a sleeping sack, a pillow, the warmth from the stacks and the exhaustion that comes from twenty straight hours of staring at a cogitator screen, it's pretty easy to get yourself a good six hours of sleep. Most people were also smart enough to bring a couple of changes of clothing, and we've had a few people gather up everyone's worn things and take them to a laundromat in their down time, eschewing sleep for a day to ensure that everyone who needs it has clean clothing to wear.

It's kind of touching, the way we're all coming together in this. I haven't witnessed any arguments or fighting, there's been no foul humours or tension. Everyone seems to understand that they have to do what they have to do, and we get on with it. I guess it's pragmatism on most peoples' parts. If we all pull together and burn through this work, then perhaps we may only have to suffer through it for another week or so. 

I've tried to make sure I call Mum at least once a day, either in my lunch break or sometime after I've managed to get some dinner into me. She says that Mei's doing well, she really seems to have settled into a routine, and she's even starting to take daytime naps without needing someone sitting with her until she goes off to sleep. But she's still not able to settle at night, poor little bird.

The Magisters finally came back to us with some news, though as I expected it really wasn't anything of use. They say that Daisy left her hab on the 4th, pict footage shows her leaving the lobby of Elysian Heights and heading out into the street. They think from the fact that she had some shopping bags with her that she might have been heading for the local market, and they managed to trace her route part of the way there, but at some point between her hab and the market, she must have made a different turn or got caught up in a crowd and just… vanished. They weren't able to find any other pict footage, even expanding their search out to the several streets around where she'd last been seen. She didn't seem to be acting in a way congruent with trying to run away or escape from something, so their best theory is that she met with some foul play. But they've also decided because there's no definitive proof, they're shelving the investigation. Something about operational limitations, funding and personnel. I have to admit I'd tuned out by that point while Mum was telling me. I didn't really want to hear that they were just going to give up on her like that.

I know that thousands of people go missing every day. They run away, they run into… problems. They're attacked or have an incident or fall ill and end up dying. But it just… It feels so wrong to turn around and say "Well, we know that she's gone missing, and it seems like there could be something afoot here, but we just don't have the funding to do anything about that. Sorry!"

I wonder if they'll let me have the last footage they have of her… if they're not going to look for her, maybe we can. Maybe we can do something so my niece doesn't have to grow up never knowing what happened to her Mum.

I don't know.

**Thought for the Day: Death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain.**


	19. Septday, Guire 30th 067.M42

Oh Throne.

Emperor help me, I need someone to tell me what to do.

Last night after I'd written my journal and put my dataslate away, Maddy came in to find me. She said she couldn't sleep. I have to admit I was having similar problems. I was still upset about my call with Mum and what she told me about Daisy.

So when Maddy said she couldn't sleep, I asked her if she wanted to sit and just talk a bit, sit up leaning against the stacks. If we kept our voices down we wouldn't disturb the others over the sound of the stacks. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I mean, I guess it was a good idea. It was nice. I got to tell her a bit more about Mei and Daisy. We talked about her dad too. She thinks I should go to the Magisters and try to get Daisy's pict footage, to see if I can find anything.Anyway, we were talking, it was warm and I guess the noise of the stacks was a bit comforting or something. She sat next to me. That was okay. Then she leaned against me, and put her head on my shoulder. I… might have had a little bit of a panic attack at this point. Though I like to think I kept it together pretty well. Mostly.

Then she fell asleep on me. I didn't know what to do. She was just… there. Leaning against my arm, her head on my shoulder. I didn't know if I should wake her up or lie her down or what. But it was really nice. Really, really nice. I managed to shift a bit and put my arm around her and… Well, I eventually fell asleep too, leaning against her.

I think she woke up before me, I'm not sure how long by. But when I woke she was still there, still leaning against me. Looking up at me. And when I actually woke up properly and realised where I was, she kissed me before getting up and walking out.

I'm not sure if I did something wrong or something right, and I don't know when I'll have a chance to talk to her about it. If she even wants to talk to me. She didn't say anything before she left.

**Thought for the Day: It is not our place to know the future; rather, the Emperor gives us the day to make with it what we shall.**


	20. Secunday, Sarnat 1st 067.M42

The double shifts keep grinding on. We were notified officially yesterday that there was an astropathic transmission sent out - not that we didn't know already. It's been the talk of the Office for over a week, and we'd started getting the data from trade offers and contract negotiations piling up even with the double shifts and all hands on deck. It's an utter deluge of data, and we're breaking ourselves just trying to keep up.

But we've also been told the survey results are finally finished. It's the largest single ore vein that's been found on this world, the quality is incredibly high and there are signs of plyatrum all the way along it. Nobody knows how this has been missed for so long, it's not like the mountain ranges haven't been scanned and probed repeatedly in the past. Looking at the survey data, if I had to hazard a guess, I think it's because the vein is quite deep and the only way to access it seems to be through a narrow valley in the deep ranges - or by blasting straight through the side of the mountain. But then I'm not a geologis. I'm just cobbling together a theory from the data that I'm processing, and that's a partial glimpse at best.

However it was missed and whyever it's suddenly come to light now, the Mechanicus, the Planetary Governor, the Administratum and the registered traders on this world are all commencing a meeting tomorrow to work out what they're planning to do. Permission to submit trade applications from off-world interests has been suspended for now, at least until the negotiations are completed. 

Not that it stops them from sending the requests through. Which leaves them piling up in our work stack, because they all have to be transferred into the cogitators - every single one. From the numbers we're seeing, it seems that there must be at least three or four dozen merchant vessels in high orbit - with more reportedly coming in every day.

Keep your head down and type. It's all we can do. Tempers are still relatively even, but you can see the exhaustion mounting in faces. We're all sharing a single bank of ablutions on this floor. Both the commode and the showers are constantly running, and people are trying to utilise their breaks on alternate days just to get enough time to wash up in. We're all of us getting rather sick of the rations provided by the onsite canteen, but nobody dares leave the Office long enough to try and get food to bring in - that would eat into our precious sleep time. 

At least the starch rations don't taste of much. Though I've discovered there's a clandestine trade in spices and sauces going on amongst the staff. Transcript-Adept Harkon is probably the most popular man on the floor right now. He's ex-PDF and when he brought his kit in to set up for the long haul, he brought in a whole sack full of condiment kits that he'd taken that were discarded by his squadmates from their ration packs. They were old, but salt and pepper don't go rancid, and hot sauce is surprisingly stable over a very long time. I know, I know. Technically his possession of them is theft from the Munitorum. They should have been consumed or discarded and destroyed. But I don't think there's a man or woman among us who'd turn him in for this. He's been a life saver in terms of making what food we have palatable.

I haven't spoken to Maddy yet about what happened Sextday night. Obviously we've seen each other on the floor. But I've not yet managed to find it in me to bring up the… what occurred between us. She hasn't come back to where I'm sleeping in the last couple of days either. Maybe she just needed comfort for that night, and once she got it she was done. I don't want to think that she's so mercenary though. She came and found me… She kissed me. She could have left before I woke up. She could have gone before she fell asleep. She could have done so many things. But she kissed me.

I want to try and catch her in a break, or find where she's sleeping and find a moment to talk to her. But I'm so exhausted at the end of the day, I can't even eat before I collapse into my sleeping sack. We're not always on the same breaks, and even when we are there's so many others standing around - I don't really want to bring it up with an audience there. I don't think she's trying to avoid me. She doesn't walk away when I approach, she doesn't exclude me from the conversation. She's as friendly as ever, she doesn't talk to me any differently than she normally does.

For now I guess I'll leave it. She knows where to find me if she wants to come and talk or if she wants to… if there's anything else that she wants to say. If she doesn't, then once work has died down again I guess that I'll try talking to her then.

**Thought for the Day: Think of hardship not as torment, but as a trial with which we prove our worth.**


	21. Primoday, Sarnat 7th 067.M42

Two weeks of double shifts, snatching what sleep we can more or less where we fall, sharing ablutions, sharing the mess, sharing our pilfered stocks of flavourings for the bulk starch-gruel they've brought in to feed us on the cheap. Patience is running out and tempers are starting to wear thin.

There's already been a few aborted fights - and I think the only reason they're not progressing to actual violence is that everyone is just so exhausted. The idea of having to consequence someone for snapping under this sort of strain doesn't sit well with me, but if they don't reel it in, we may have to. This is our duty, and those who would break under the burden when usually we have it so fair need to be corrected.

We're also struggling to keep our error rate down. Little things keep sneaking through. A transposed number here, an error on a name or a date there. Errors are always an issue, but now more than ever it's incredibly important that we try to keep our standards as high as possible. A small error in one location could lead to a cascading effect of errors and problems as it propagates through the data. Senior Stack Master Arovak reminds us of this daily.

Even Maddy, who hasn't committed a single error that I've caught since the day she started, finally made an error a few days ago. It was the moment I'd been dreading. I hoped she'd rise above, but she too is only human. She's feeling the strain as much as the rest of us. And the look on her face when I had to tell her that the error I'd found was in her data… it pierced my heart. She looked completely distraught. To her credit, she accepted the correction with good grace. She didn't try to provide excuses or use our… whatever it is that's happened between us to try to get out of the correction or her data validation. She apologised and said she'd try to do better. Then she smiled at me.

… I can feel myself nodding over my dataslate. I've had to delete a mess of nonsense and poorly-written words just to get this far. I need to sleep. I hope that we won't be strained too far beyond this breaking point and that relief will come soon. The council continues to meet, still trying to work out the terms of this ore vein and who will be given permission to not only work it, but to profit from it. We hope that their decision might finally quell the tide of applications we continue to drown under, despite the order that no more would be accepted. We pray that it arrives soon.

**Thought for the Day: The burden of failure is the most terrible punishment of all.**


	22. Quartday, Sarnat 10th 067.M42

The Planetary Governor made an announcement today - the Mechanicus brotherhood of hive Achlys will be granted exclusive mining rights to the antilium vein under the deep ranges. This isn't a surprise, but it's good to hear that the mining rights aren't going to the offworld parties and that's much better for Asphodel in the long run.

The antilium will be mined and transferred to Achlys for refining, then from Achlys it'll be run on the rail lines under the shallow sea to Tartarus for dividing into what's remaining on-world and what's going off-world and what's going to the Tithe.

Sixty percent is remaining on-world for Asphodian concerns, including new construction. Twenty five percent is going to the Tithe - a full quarter! But in doing so, for as long as it manages to produce it will significantly reduce our manpower Tithe, which will satisfy some of those critical with such a high cost in human lives being spent - especially when this unknown illness in the lower hive seems to be continuing unabated. And then fifteen is going off-world for general trading. That's going to make some of the merchants unhappy, I'm sure but still. Fifteen percent is going to be a lot of profit.

I caught up with Malik off the floor in my break this afternoon too - Scribe-Master Warders had sourced some recaf for all of us, and he and I ran into each other in the line to get a cup. It was thin and weak, and there was no sugar or milk but it was the best thing I've drunk in my entire life, I swear on the Throne. Something warm to perk us all up really hit the spot, it really seemed to bring some tempers under control and make things feel a bit more bearable. Well, it could have been the recaf and it could have been the announcement, or a little bit of both.

He managed - just before the work order came down - to catch up with a few of his mates from other rows. He reckons we've got six confirmed, with maybe a seventh interested depending on when we eventually work out playing. Ideally we'd like another two more confirmed, but we could play with three a side and an umpire if we're just having friendly matches. I said once we're finally free from all of this that I'd see if I could find anybody down at the pub who'd be interested too. I might have a couple of friends or acquaintances who'd be up for a bit more of a regular game. I think it's something we all could use. I know I could do with the opportunity to blow some steam off.

We'll see. We made plans to catch up for a drink once we've been back on single shifts for a few days, and in the intervening time he'll talk to the other guys who might be interested. More than a few of us have balls lying around, and the pitch down in fifteenth might be a good place to look at setting up to play. I know it's open to public use when there's no schola matches on, and even with five a side, we'd probably only end up using less than a half. I might see if Goran wants to play too. I still owe him a drink for giving me Daisy's contact information, and he's always been a good player. Good-natured, doesn't take things personally.

He also asked if I'd be interested in joining a semi-regular Tarot game that he plays in a couple of times a month. Low stakes, a few scrip at a time, just with a few mates and some drinks. I've never really been that good with card games - I can handle the numbers fine, but I think I tend to be a bit too expressive to make a good card player. They can see if I've got a good hand or not by the expression on my traitorous face. I just get so excited when I've got a good hand, and I can't help but give it away when things aren't going my way. But he reckons it'll be fine, it's mostly just for fun and the money won goes into a pot that buys more drinks and food for the next game. It sounds like a bit of a laugh in all honesty.

But for now, it's time to collapse once more. The end isn't quite yet in sight, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel, so we just need to keep getting through a day at a time.

**Thought for the Day: Survival is an uphill battle. We must always keep pushing or risk being crushed under the weight of our burden.**


	23. Primoday, Sarnat 14th 067.M42

The light grows brighter! The workload has decreased enough for us to have our work day downshifted from twenty hours to eighteen! For some of the adepts who live in the closer precincts such as fourteenth through sixteenth, it's allowing enough time for them to go home, to wash and sleep in their own beds. For those who live further out it's still not quite enough, so here we remain. But with less people camping out in the office, less queues for the ablutions block and the meals in the canteen, it's making life a lot more bearable for the rest of us.

Well. Bearable is relative. We're wearing the same few sets of clothes days on end, washing in a shared bathroom, sharing sleeping quarters and eating quarters. It's just marginally more comfortable with fewer of us here.

Those who've been able to go home have been helping where they can. Some have been taking laundry to wash for us, others are bringing in supplies when they come back - we have recaf, sauces and salt and pepper for the starch rations, and some wondrous souls brought in some chocolate. There was barely enough for a fraction of a bar each, but Throne. It was the sweetest thing I'd tasted in a while.

I'm honestly proud of how we've managed to pull through this. Yes, it's been a little under a month, but it's been a hard month. Not a one of us has had a break in that time. We've been working through our relief days, working past the twenty hours where we are in the middle of files at the time the work bell chimes. Fingers are numb from typing continuously, eyes are strained and nerves are shot. But despite the squabbles, there has been no actual violence. Despite the short tempers, when it comes to matters of work we've all been pulling together and sharing what we can, those finishing early were taking work from those who had fallen behind. 

We're hoping that the step-down will continue apace, that each few days we might lose another hour or two until we're back down to the point where we can all go back to our normal hours. Or at least to the point where we can start going home again. I want to see my family. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Malik hasn't seen his fiancée since this started. Ilya had only just come back to work after having her baby - she says her parents are taking care of him while she and her husband are here. Scribe-Master Warders says her wife has begun asking when she'll get to see her again. Maddy misses her brothers. We all miss someone.

There's been a bit of an upset with the antilium vein. Everyone expected the Hadrigan Cartel to get the fifteen percent off-world shipping contract. They're the largest merchant Cartel on Asphodel, they have trading houses in all of the hives, including Nyx, Styx and Achlys, they have ancestral agreements with Throne knows how many Rogue Traders and Chartist Captains. They're by far the best-placed merchants on this world, if not the entire system. But somehow, and don't ask me how, I haven't seen all of the reports and the records, the Kai-Ten Conglomerate managed to undercut them and sneak in to get the contract. The Hadrigan representatives are livid from what I've seen in the transcripts. But it was a near-unanimous vote by the council that Governor Fei set up, in Kai-Ten's favour.

I don't think that the Hadrigan Cartel will take any action that will have serious ramifications for Asphodel as a whole. Their business is too closely entwined with the world. To pull out all of their concerns - which admittedly, if it wouldn't shatter the planet's economy it would most assuredly dent it - would set their business back significantly as well. Honestly it's a bit of a mutually assured destruction scenario. So I can't see them trying to gain their revenge on the council by shutting up shop… But they're not happy with the situation at all. Kai-Ten knows what happened to House Chrydis, the last corporation who fronted up and upset the Hadrigans. And that was over an ore find as well.

Honestly though, I would like to know just how they secured this. It's an amazing coup. It may be for the better. Breaking the near monopoly that the Hadrigan Cartel has over Asphodel should be a good thing, shouldn't it?

**Thought for the Day: Any problem can be solved with the tactical expenditure of life.**


	24. Quartday, Sarnat 17th 067.M42

Today is my 29th nameday. 29 orbits of that star we call Velorum, the light of which I've seen directly through my own eyes maybe three times in my life. 29 years in the centre of a mass of metal and plascrete, surrounded by billions of other people. Humans everywhere, above, below and around. On every side of me. Less than a fraction of a handful who even know I exist, let alone my name or that it's even a day of any importance to me.

Spending my nameday at work isn't something I'm unaccustomed to, though actually waking up on the morning of already in the office was something of a novelty for me. 

As was waking up to see Maddy kneeling at the end of my sleeping sack, holding a sweet-starch roll with a candle stuck into the top of it. It wasn't lit, fire is prohibited in the office - and especially in the stacks. To say I was surprised is just… the understatement of the millennium, if I'm entirely honest. But it was probably the sweetest thing that anyone's ever done for me. She went out immediately after her shift ended, taking time out of the limited hours she had to rest and get sleep, just to not only buy me a sweet-starch roll, but to find a candle for it for me. It was a little golden Aquila.

She is just the… most beautiful woman I've ever known. She's so sweet and friendly, I've never heard her say a bad word about another person. The whole way through this stretch of work, she's always, always been positive. Not in a fake obnoxious way either. She just has this way of finding the positive even when it seems like there shouldn't be anything to be positive about. When she smiles, her nose scrunches up and her eyes crease a little but she lights up amazingly. And her laugh is infectious. She just makes me want to laugh every time she does, seeing her happy makes me happy too.

We finally talked about what happened a couple of weeks ago. She apologised for just kissing me like that and then disappearing without saying anything. She said she was… confused and… wasn't sure what she wanted - which was kind of a blow to hear, if I'm honest again. Nobody wants to hear "I didn't know what I wanted, so I kissed you and ran away and then didn't talk to you for over two weeks". But when she explained more, I get it. I get it all now.

The arguments and disputes I've been having with myself about whether I should pursue her or try to discourage her and just keep her as a polite friend - she said she's been having those arguments with herself, from the other side. She really enjoyed spending time with me and she thinks I'm attractive (wonky nose and all, how's that?). But she was worried - she's new to the Office. I'm her supervisor. What will it look like to everyone else? Throne knows that the gossip in this place is insidious. Apparently there's already been talk about us, not that I've heard it, but she says she's caught people discussing it a few times though they knock it off as soon as they realise she's in earshot. And she doesn't want it to look like she's just trying to sleep her way up the ladder. 

I told her how I felt too. How I'd been having the same thoughts and confusion. I didn't want to make it look like I was favouring her, especially when she performed so well for someone so new. Though I didn't even think how the gossip would affect her, self-centred prick that I am. I was too worried about my reputation. Even that made her laugh. And we talked it out, and we decided that… well… We'd like to see each other. Properly see each other. Quietly. We won't make a big deal of things in the Office. We're going to go out to dinner again, she might come over to my place one night to watch a holovid. She said she'd invite me to hers, but she still lives with her Mum and one of her brothers. Meeting the family… that can wait a bit, I think.

She kissed me again, then we shared the sweet-starch roll for breakfast before we got up for the day. 

I think this might be my best nameday ever.

**Thought for the Day: A life is a terrible thing to waste. Make the most of every blessing the Emperor provides, for to do anything less is a sin.**


	25. Secunday, Sarnat 22nd 067.M42

Praise the Emperor and thank Saint Celadine, I write tonight's journal from the sweetest, happiest place on Asphodel. My own bed.

The order was passed down at 1500 hours today. We would be able to leave to leave at 2200 hours unless there was another large influx of data. Which was still a possibility. Despite the contracts being announced a week ago, that hasn't stopped applications from late-comers and hopeful allsorts from being sent through. But they have been tapering off and settling down, we're gradually getting less and less through. And today the breaking point arrived. We didn't get another surge, just the usual flow. We're still managing the backlog but it's dropping every day. We're beating it, finally!

We had a quick scratch-up meeting at just after 1800. For now and for the foreseeable future, the hours will be settling out at 1.5 length shifts. Fifteen hour days. But that still gives twelve hours to get home, get food, have a wash, get rest and return. It'll be tough, but so much more tolerable than what we've been going through for the last month.

Being able to walk out of the office just felt so GOOD. It's only been a little over a month, but it felt in some ways like I'd forgotten what it was like to see the streets outside. I felt free.I called Mum on my way home. I won't be able to go and visit them while we're still working seven days and on the fifteen hour shifts - not unless I decide to stay at their place for the night. I did offer, but she said that she and Dad will bring Mei to come and see me instead. They have the spare key to my hab, she said that one evening they'll head over after Dad has finished work, let themselves in and have some dinner waiting for me when I get home. That'll be good. I'll be glad to see them all again. I've gotten a bit sick of seeing my row-mates' faces day in and day out for a month.

Well, most of them. There's someone who I didn't mind seeing that much.

I've decided too that I will go to the Magisters to try and get a copy of the pict footage of Daisy, once work has died down a bit more and we've gone back if not to our regular shift length but at least once we start getting our rest days back again. I spoke briefly to Mum about that too. She is a bit concerned - if Daisy has met with misfortune, she's worried that I'll be getting myself into trouble trying to chase down what happened to her. But she agrees that some closure would be good, if only for Mei's sake. If we can say with certainty that something happened to her, rather than her just up and leaving. It'll be good for Mei to know that.

In work news, I've heard surprisingly little fuss in the data streams about Kai-Ten pipping the Hadrigans to the post. I still don't know exactly how they did it, but the business streams don’t really have much to say about it. Both the Hadrigans and the Kai-Ten have gone quiet. The latter I'm sure because they're just trying to make sure they've got all their is dotted and their ts crossed before the contract is completely signed off. The Hadrigans because… well, I wouldn't even dare to hazard a guess. Scribe-Adept Dalton managed to get his hands on a late edition of the _Standard_ the other day. There's a report in there that states they're appealing the contract, but I think at this point it's too little, too late. If the Mechanicus and Governor Fei have both agreed strongly to back the Kai-Ten… 

But I guess I'm not going to know much more for now. Perhaps more might come out in the news-sheets, or in the files that we process. I'll just have to keep my eyes open.

Tomorrow. I'll have to keep my eyes open tomorrow. Right now bed is warm, and soft and more importantly doesn't sound like a server trying to cogitate complicated data functions. Or smell like Skillitzi's farts after a month of eating nothing but starch rations and hotsauce.

I won't miss that in the slightest. Goodnight.

**Thought for the Day: Success is commemorated. Failure merely remembered.**


	26. Sextday, Sarnat 27th 067.M42

Once again, we settle into the new normal. We're still working long days, and rest days are completely off the table at this point, but at least there's enough time to go home of an evening, and even some time to have a little recreational time, even if it's only an hour or so.

Mum and Dad brought Mei around last night, they were here and mum was making re-grox stew when I got home. It was amazing to have a properly home-cooked meal again. I missed it so much. And Mei looks so different from when I saw her that first day. Mum had her dressed in the most adorable little set of PDF fatigues, just like her Daddy's. I didn't even know you could get them that small. If I ever have kids, I'm going to make sure they all have a pair.

She seems really well. Mum said she does talk at the moment, but she's very shy around strangers - which I am, that makes sense. But she's looking so much better than she was. Even in a little over a month, she's put weight back on. She's got chubby little cheeks and she toddles around everywhere as fast as possible on her little legs. I love her. I think the highlight of my night, apart from Mum's cooking, was when she made her way over to me and leaned on my leg for a little while after she'd been racing around in circles for a time. Which of course then led into the age-old conversation with Mum, though this time it had a new twist. Now it's not "When will you meet a nice girl, do your duty and make us grandparents?" it's "When will you meet a nice girl, do your duty and make Mei a little cousin to play with? She's lonely being an only child!"

And this is why I haven't told Mum about Maddy yet.

I'm still worried about what happened to Daisy. Though I won't have a day off any time soon, I may still put in an application to the Magisters to get that footage sooner, rather than later. I can take some time in the evenings to look over it… maybe see it with a fresh pair of eyes. Maybe it's arrogant to think that I'll see something that trained law enforcement officers didn't, but then they just seemed completely uninterested once it seemed like she'd just walked out and disappeared. They couldn’t see anyone following her - or so they say. She wasn't kidnapped from her home or abducted in her building lobby, so it just doesn't seem like they're all that invested. I guess there's just so many things that come to their attention, and there's someone here to look after her daughter so… It just makes me sad. We haven't heard anything from Daisy's family either. I don't know if Mum's tried to reach out to them or not, she hasn't said.

Apart from that, and on the whole, things are going pretty well right now. Work is challenging but enjoyable. Mei is an absolute sweetie and Mum and Dad said they'll bring her around at least once a week so she gets a chance to get to know me. Maddy and I are going out for dinner again tomorrow - there's an Atillan noodle place just outside Central that's on both of our ways home. I haven't been there, but she says it's pretty good. I hope it's not too spicy. I'm not good with spicy food.

**Thought for the Day: Pain is penance.**


	27. Tertioday, Sarnat 30th 067.M42

The Hadrigan Cartel have started to make some moves in the wake of the antilium contract being handed over to the Kai-Ten Conglomerate. Some of their trading offices are being downsized and closed down, they seem to be moving more of their finances and interests into off-world trade deals. They haven't done anything to completely unseat the financial stability of Asphodel, but they're starting to make some small waves. They're not happy and they're making sure that the Governor knows it.

And in news that seems to be completely coincidental and not in the slightest way related to the trade troubles, the Kai-Ten Conglomerate are reporting that some of their recent shipments through the sector have been plagued with raiders - from what I'm seeing in the reports they've lost at least a couple of ships to pirates between the outer worlds, and at least one of their convoys has gone missing and not yet reported in at its destination. Even allowing for the vagaries of warp travel, this convoy was travelling on a stable route and there's been no reports of unexpected warp storms so…

I expect that what we'll see in the next few weeks is a continuation of these sorts of "troubles", before the Hadrigans step up and make a plea to the Governor, saying that the Kai-Tens are just not capable of managing their trade and keeping Asphodean interests safe. And I'm sure that it will come with an attendant increase in their required costs to keep the antilium exports safe, after all, if raider attacks are on the increase…

I don't think anybody is surprised by this turn of events. But the Hadrigans aren't idiots. They've seen more than one other merchant house run into the ground for messing with their interests. It's kind of an open secret to anybody who's got access to the data that they have some sort of link with some raider captains or pirates or something. Not a direct link, they're not that idiotic. They've been in this business for millennia in one form or another. But through blind shell companies, laundered funds, mercenary links… Something like that. Though it wouldn’t surprise me if they had the Arbites at least partially in their pocket too, to stop anyone getting too invested in their business operations.

I don't think it'll resort to open warfare between them. Both the Hadrigan Cartel and the Kai-Ten Conglomerate are just too big to engage in that sort of thing. Both could cause significant damage to the other if it resorted to open conflict, but they would suffer what is likely to be considered unacceptable losses in the attempt. It's not like House Chrydis - they were small enough that once the Hadrigans provoked them into making the first move, the Hadrigans were then able to more or less wipe them out without taking too much in the way of losses, either financially or in human cost.

The lesser merchants like House Franke, the Marchaude Corporation, Silverlocke Limited and House Terigal are rather wisely keeping their heads down at the minute. They're letting the two bigger players punch this out, and I'm sure when the dust settles they'll be there, yipping around their feet and trying to pick up the crumbs that have fallen.

I honestly don't know who's going to come out better from this. The Hadrigans are an older house, they're bigger, with more resources to throw at a problem. But everything I've seen in recent months is that the Kai-Tens have really come into their own - they're making a lot of good deals, they seem to be savvy about what it takes to carve a place for themselves. They could be the little upstarts that overturn the grox-cart. Only time will tell, I guess.

**Thought for the Day: The dissident invites only retribution.**


	28. Quinday, Bertzia 1st 067.M42

Maddy and I went to the Atillan noodle place at Central on Primoday. I've never been there before, I've always been a little bit concerned about Atillan food. My old scrumball mate Boyle loves it and he's always going on about these incredibly spicy dishes, how hot they are and how impressed the Atillan owners of the restaurants he goes to are that a guy from a Malfi family can handle their spiciest food. I'm not good with spicy food, I don't really like it that much. I'm not really a fan of food that causes pain.

So I was a little bit reluctant, but Maddy assured me that Boyle is an idiot (which… okay. I can't disagree with that. As evidenced by the time he pretended to hit on the Saint's Arms Fullback to put him off the ball, and the bloke actually took him up on the offer) and that if you let them know you're not used to spicy food, they're actually really accommodating. And I'm glad I listened to her. I have no idea what most of the things I ate were, but it was delicious! These little dumpling-y things with soup were extra nice. We ordered three bowls of those, and then there was some noodles with grox strips and a sauce that was a little tiny bit spicy but not too much, and another stewed meat with some grain to sop up the gravy. We had some liquor to go with it - again, I'm not sure what she called it but it was clear and it kicked like an angry range-strider. And it went well with the dumplings. 

We talked a bit more about our families, hobbies, things we used to do in schola or for fun. She used to play softball before she had to leave schola - she showed me a scar on her knee where she said she'd slid over one of the bases and torn it open after I explained how I broke my nose. I noticed a few other scars on her leg too, one looked like a nasty burn scar, a stripe across the side of her calf and shin. But she didn't offer an explanation so I didn't ask. She loved reading as a kid, loved looking at numbers and working on arithmetic problems - I could have guessed, given how good she's been with the data so far. And she said that she's a really huge fan of Deep Sector Seven. I almost didn't believe her, it's like how many girls actually like DSS? She must have seen the doubt in my eyes, because then we got into an argument over who was the better Captain. She maintains it's Captain Sheridan but I'll defend Captain Sinclair to the end of time. Sure, that first season was a bit rough, but seriously - Sheridan's an arse.

It was a really nice night, and I had a lot of fun. And she seemed to as well. If we didn't have a fifteen hour shift the next day, I would have invited her over to come watch some DSS. We could start from the beginning and just… binge it. But she said she had to head home, her Mum was expecting her, and with her magrail and walk she had a fair bit further to go than me. So I walked her back to her platform and waited with her until the next train. And this time I kissed her.

The next day at work was good. We saw each other again at work, continued our discussion about DSS in our break. She said that she can understand why I like Sinclair, but that Sheridan was just the more capable Captain, Sinclair was just a figurehead and a plot device. She wouldn't listen to my argument that Sheridan wasn't any better. Then Krittenden weighed in (thanks for the Sinclair love, buddy!) and it kind of started a thing now, and there's a bit of a tribe thing developing on the floor. You're either Pro-Sinclair or you're a dirty Sheridanist. Lines are being drawn, and we will drive them before us! 

But then the next morning after that I woke up to find a message from her on my slate. She'd sent it through some time really early in the morning, she said her Mum had been taken ill and she'd had to rush to the infirmary for her, and that she'd need a few days off of work. Scribe-Master Warders was not really pleased about this, but I had to point out that Maddy's been performing better than nearly everyone on the floor - even during the double shifts, sleeping in the office she only made three mistakes in the whole period, and one of those was an error caused by someone else's faulty input. Thank the Throne she performs so well and I was able to use that to gain her some clemency. I don't want to think about having to turn around to her and tell her that she was going to be terminated if she didn't show up.

I was honestly pretty worried. I didn't know if I should go to see her and talk to her. Warders is fair, but she's also a dedicated Adept. She's not going to be eternally lenient. But thankfully I got another message from Maddy this afternoon, she says that her Mum has responded well to the treatment, in the end it was a relatively minor illness that came across with some pretty scary symptoms, but that she should be back at work tomorrow if everything goes well. I've got her Mum in my prayers, and I hope that I will get to see her smile again when I walk through the door tomorrow morning.

**Thought for the Day: Sheridan is a monster and an egomaniac. Sinclair is the one true Captain**


	29. Sextday, Bertzia 2nd 067.M42

I think Maddy lied to me.

I don't know what, but I think that something happened to her while she was off work. I'm honestly not sure if her Mum was sick in the infirmary or not. She says that she was, and she says she's feeling better now and came home with some medication. But when we were talking in the hall, she was standing side-on to me just under the edge of one of the lumens and I realised that she was wearing more makeup than usual. She normally wears a little bit of stuff - some colour on her lips, a bit of powder I think and some eye stuff - I don't know what it's all called, neither of my sisters really wore cosmetics - but today she seemed to have really put on a lot. Her face looked a little… I don't know… puffy? 

Once I noticed that, it was hard not to notice other things too. She wasn't really limping as such, but it really seemed like she was favouring one side in particular. She's normally very expressive when she talks, using her hands a lot but today she really didn't. She kind of… kept her arms tucked in close, didn't move around too much. 

I tried to ask her if everything was okay - I didn't want to accuse her outright of lying, because I don't know. It could be anything, I could be misreading the situation. But she just brushed me off a bit, said she was a bit tired after being worried about her Mum for a few days. Which makes sense, I just… It feels wrong. Something feels off and I don't know what. I think someone's hurt her.

I know she lives with her Mum and one brother. She's never said anything about her Mum remarrying after her Dad died. In fact that's why she works so hard, she's had to bring money home to help look after the family. And she has mentioned her Mum being sick in the past. Is her mum sick? Or is something else going on there? She's such a sweet thing, and she's… well, she's small. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's tough but… Someone big enough could hurt her badly if they really set their mind to it.

I didn't press it. If she's hiding things, it might be for good reason. I tried to just let her know that if she needed to talk to anyone about anything, I'd always be here for her. She hugged me and said thanks, but everything was okay. I hope it is and I'm just misreading things. I just can't help but feel that I'm not. I don't know what I'd do if someone actually was hurting her. She's so sweet and friendly and caring, I can't even imagine what kind of monster would want to do such a thing.

**Thought for the Day: Push yourself forward but never overstep your boundaries, lest you be crushed under the weight of responsibility.**


	30. Primoday, Bertzia 4th 067.M42

So… I think I've been adopted by a cat. I was walking home from work yesterday afternoon and as I got to the alley next to my hab block, I heard this… squeaking. It sounded like someone pinching the neck of a balloon and letting the air out, honestly. Just this little peeping sound, I nearly didn't hear it over the sound of the traffic. But lucky for her I did. This little black and white… thing was just huddled up next to a box just in the mouth of the alley. She was covered in grime, I think she got caught in a hivepour, those are unpleasant at the best of times, not least of which when you're a tiny little puffball of fur and meeps. I couldn't just leave her there, and she was so willing to climb up into my hands when I offered them to her. I thought I could clean her up and dry her off, give her something to eat and then after work today see about finding somewhere to take her. 

I shredded up some newsheet paper and paper towels to put in a little plastic container for her to use as a litter tray and found a can of some fish chowder in my pantry. It's not the best kitten food I'm sure, but it was better than nothing, and thinned down with some water she seemed to enjoy it. She got the hang of the tray after I put her in it after dinner, then I shut her in the bathroom for the evening. Or I tried to. That little peeping turns out to be pretty frakking loud when it's released in a room that's fully tiled. I ended up letting her out just so I could try to get some sleep. I woke up to find a purring little ball of kitten pressed up under my chin. I think that was about the point my resolve broke.

It was only cemented when I got home this evening to find Mum and Mei visiting again, and Mei was sitting on the floor with the kitten in her lap while Mum got dinner ready. Mum asked me what her name was. I didn't even get a chance to tell her that I'd only found her the night before and wasn't sure I was going to keep her, when we just heard "Noodles" from the floor.

According to Mum, Mei's favourite food of all things is noodles. It was the first thing she asked for when Mum and Dad got her home, kind of her first word with them. So I guess I have a kitten named Noodles now.

I told Mum that I submitted my application to the Magisters to get the pict footage from Daisy's case back on the 27th. She was a little concerned, she's still worried about the idea of me following up on this, in case Daisy stumbled onto something actually dangerous. But she agrees that we need to know what happened, if only for Mei's sake. I actually just received notification today that they have the application, that the paperwork seems to be in order… and that it could take anywhere up to six months for them to retrieve the requested files and to send them on to me. I get it, I understand there's processes that have to be followed. I know that as soon as her case was closed everything was probably archived in their stacks… but six months? I'm hoping that's worst case and a form response, and that because it was so recent it'll be easy to access. My fingers are crossed.

And whatever happened to Maddy, she seems to be getting better now. She still hasn't said anything apart from commenting that her Mum is feeling a bit better, but I noticed today she was wearing a bit less makeup, and she didn't seem to be holding herself as stiffly as she was the other day. We haven't had a chance to catch up outside work yet, we hadn't made another date, so I haven't really wanted to push anything. But I think next time we do catch up for dinner, I'm going to just… try to let her know if she needs anything, any help… I want to help. I don't like the idea of someone hurting her, or worse of her feeling like she's got nowhere to turn if someone is. I… don't know what we have. We haven't put any labels on anything yet but I care a lot about her.

I might see if she wants to come around to my place for dinner and a holopict tomorrow. We can get something to take away from a restaurant on our way here, she can meet Noodles… It might be nice for her to have an evening away from everything. I'll see what she says tomorrow. But right now before I get ready for bed, I have to go out and get actual proper kitten things. Noodles can't live on canned chowder, much as she seems to like the idea.

**Thought for the Day: Blessed is the servant who spends his life safely in the shadow of his master.**


	31. Tertioday, Bertzia 6th 067.M42

I invited Maddy over last night - having a cat is a great excuse to invite a girl over, let me tell you that for free. I told her how I found Noodles and how Mei named her and she practically invited herself without me even asking. 

We stopped at Benny's on the way back to my place to grab some groxburgers, chips and a six pack. Not that we wanted to get plastered or anything, but a beer is nice with a burger. On our way from picking that up we passed by a little Scrip-store as well, so Maddy insisted we stop in and buy some toys for Noodles. Nearly twenty scrip later… I think she could have bought the whole store if I'd let her.

My hab is now full of things that jingle and flutter and flap. And I think Noodles is the happiest a kitten could ever be. She's such a friendly little thing, she almost reminds me of Maddy in a lot of ways. She just gets on with anyone who comes home with me, climbing up all over them and trying to perch on their shoulder or chest or head. Maddy must have spent a good half an hour or so just sitting on the floor, showing her all of her new toys, cuddling her and playing with her. It was probably the second most adorable thing I've seen - after watching Mei play with Noodles the night before of course.

But eventually we had our (now cold, but that was okay) burgers and chips, and settled down with our beers to watch some season one DSS. Maddy argued that we should start with season 2 and the coming of Sheridan, but I held firm. If we're going to watch this, we're going to do it right, Saints damn it! She eventually saw my point, that we need to start from the beginning if we're going to do it. Even though she did complain a bit about Sinclair, it was mostly in good fun.

We'd only intended to watch an episode or two, so that I could walk her back to Central and she could get home tonight but, well, we got wrapped up in it and ended up watching four episodes, and by the time we did it was way too late to walk back to Central and get her magrail home and still be able to get a decent sleep before she had to return to work in the morning…

I loaned her a shirt to sleep in, and after she had her shower and had washed off her makeup I could still see the shadow of the bruise on her eye and cheekbone. She must have seen me looking, because she kissed me and said she knew I was worried about her, but that she's okay. That it was a personal thing, but it's dealt with, and it has nothing to do with her family. All I can do is believe her when she says this. It's not like she's a child and needs me to look out for her. She's a grown woman and she's been looking after herself and helping out with her family since she left schola. To insist she needs me to protect her would just be insulting.

I'm worried for her, but I'll take her word for it that she's got things sorted out. I just told her that if she ever needed anything - someone to talk to, or somewhere to stay or just somewhere to get away for a while, that I'd always be that for her. She seemed really touched by that for some reason, like nobody's ever told her something like that before. 

We spent the rest of the night… well, I don't think I need to go into any detail about that. But it was a good night. We probably both got a lot less sleep that we needed but it was well worth it. It was really, really good to wake up in the morning and just find her there again, to wake up together and make breakfast. I would really like this to be a regular thing, and Maddy agrees. We both agreed that this is a thing, or to be more exact that we are a thing. So hey. I have a girlfriend now. This week is coming up pretty well for me it seems.

**Thought for the Day: The fear of failure often causes one to lose more than risking a chance for success.**


	32. Septday, Bertzia 10th 067.M42

Noodles seems to have settled in really well. She's a champion at using her litter box, and now I've got her on some proper kitten food her tummy seems to have settled down. She spends a lot of time galloping around, pulling things out of everywhere. I don't think I have a shoelace that has been unmolested since she came into my life. But when I get home, she trots up to me with her little tail in the air, making those squeaky sounds that I first heard when I found her. Before I can even get my coat off, she's climbing me to get up to my shoulder so she can sit there and groom my hair. And when Maddy comes over, she can't do anything without Noodles clambering all over her.

It's nice to have something to come home to, honestly. It's nice to feel needed, to have a warm little body to cuddle at night. She likes to sleep cuddled up under my chin. Noodles, not Maddy. Actually though, now that I mention it, Maddy likes to sleep cuddled up under my chin as well.

I think Mum and Dad might be planning to come around again for dinner tomorrow, I think I remember Mum mentioning something about trying to make Primoday our family dinner day each week. I've asked Maddy if she wants to come over tomorrow night and meet them. I don't mind if she doesn't… we've only been official for a few days after all. She said she might do, she really wants to meet Mei because she loves kids.

Arlean called too. She wanted to know if I'd be free to catch up with her sometime this week. She didn't say what for, just that she wanted to talk about something. I asked if she wanted to come up for dinner tomorrow, so she could meet Mei and Noodles and Maddy if she decides to come, but she said she didn't have the time - she just needed me to come and see her if I could. I'm not sure, but she sounded serious, so I'll see about asking if I can leave work early one day this week. If I can get off just after lunch time, I should be able to make it down to her infirmary and back up again before midnight - if the trans-lifts are working.

I also heard a rumour in the office yesterday too that we might be going back to six day weeks. Still the long shifts, but if we get our rest day each week back again then I'll be very happy with that. I haven't made it to a Shrine service in weeks, though I do make sure to stop in and pay my tithe and have a chat with Father Rainaud each week. He says that the Harper kids - the kids whose Mum went missing back in Jaufre - are doing well. We managed to raise enough funds to supplement their upkeep at the Orphanarium, and he says that there's a couple of interested families looking at wanting to adopt them. I really hope that they're able to find a new family for them and they can settle down and be happy again.

Everything else seems to be pretty quiet for now. Work continues on, the files keep coming in and we keep pushing them out. There's been no significant promotions or losses, everyone seems to have found their stride and is just carrying on as best as possible. The Merchant houses and corporations are just quietly getting on with their business for now. There still hasn't been any overt hostility and the Hadrigan Cartel have stopped shutting down operations. Again for now. I'm sure that they're planning something, with the first mining operations beginning this week.

And I caught up with Malik and a few of the other guys at the pub after work yesterday. We've got nine guys right now, with more who are only infrequently available. So we should definitely have enough for a four-a-side game. Everyone seems to have Sextday available most weeks, so we'll be catching up again on the 16th at the scrumball field in Fifteenth. It's a public pitch, and Criston says that it tends to be pretty quiet on Sextdays after mid-afternoon, most of the kids play there in the morning and up to about lunch time or so. I have a couple of balls that are still in good nick and Yale says he has a few markers we can use for goals. Malik and Armand say they'll bring drinks. It looks like we're on. Time to see just how absolutely unfit and out of shape I am. I may die.

**Thought for the Day: When the normalities of life are mutable, stand firm on one truth you know to be true.**


	33. Primoday, Bertzia 11th 067.M42

I didn't tell Mum I'd invited Maddy over tonight, because I didn't know until I got to work today and saw that she'd packed an overnight bag if she was even coming over. But I knew that Mum would be cooking more than enough of whatever she'd made for dinner that having an extra body there wouldn't be a problem. I wasn't wrong. She'd made roughly enough grassfowl curry to feed a battalion, plus there was noodles (not Noodles, though she tried to put her fuzzy little nose in), and spice-bread to mop up the gravy. I think she'd intended to leave me with enough to take to work for lunches for the week, or to have for dinners. But still, even with Maddy here there's probably enough for the both of us to eat well for at least two or three days.

I think everything went well. Mum got to talking to Maddy about her family, about helping her own Mum raise her brothers after her dad died, about the administrative work before she won her position in the Adeptus Administratum and how long we'd been… ah… friends for. She actually managed to make it through most of the evening before cornering me in the kitchen while I was washing up to grill me about how long we'd been together, how serious it was, if we'd spoken about having kids yet… I love you Mum, but please. Let me try and make it through at least one month with this girl before we start getting into the talk about our future? Thankfully Dad was a lot more calm. He asked a few questions while she was talking, and when he came in to get a beer while I was washing up, all I got out of him was "Good job". So that's his nod of approval.

And Mei absolutely loved Maddy. I brought her in, introduced her to Mum and Dad. Mei was sitting on the rug in front of the holo, playing with Noodles while she watched the Littlest Guardsman movie (Throne, I remember watching that when I was a kid. I'm pretty sure it's the same copy too. I think Mum must have just packed away all of our old kid toys and holopicts for when she finally got to be a Grandma… She's been waiting for this for a while…). She didn't really pay much attention to Maddy when she first came in, she had Noodles chasing one of my bootlaces (all of those toys Maddy paid for, and my bootlaces are just the best toy ever apparently. Not a waste of scrip at all) and that seemed to have most of her attention. So while Mum and I were getting dinner ready - after Mum had chased Maddy out of the kitchen - Maddy went to see if Mei would let her play with Noodles. I don't know exactly how it went down, but by the time we came out of the kitchen to set the table, Maddy was sitting on the floor with Mei on one knee, Noodles on the other and they were having some sort of… Secret conference as far as I could tell.  
After that Mei wouldn't let Maddy alone for the rest of the night. Poor Maddy ended up with Mei still on her knee while she tried to eat dinner, trying to eat with one hand and keep a toddler upright and eating her dinner with the other. But she managed really well. She said that when her Dad died, her youngest brother was about Mei's age, so she got used to handling a kid of that age. They both looked happy though. Mei was smiling and giggling and making a general merry mess, and Maddy seemed to be really enjoying watching her and tending to her. And after dinner, while I was doing the dishes (and fending off Mum's aggressive hinting) Maddy helped settle Mei down on the couch, and when Mum and Dad left they were able to pick her up and just carry her out while she was sleeping.

After that, it was just a pretty quiet night. We watched another couple of episodes of DSS, had another brief argument about Sheridan v Sinclair and that's about where we're up to. Maddy's reading some of the newscasts on her dataslate next to me, and I'm updating my journal.

It's been interesting keeping this journal, I haven't ever really done anything like this before. I'm not even really sure why I'm doing it, I guess it's just nice to have a log of some of the interesting and important things that have happened in my life - even if it's only been a few months so far. Maybe if we do have kids, it'll be nice to pull out certain entries too - Here's where I met your Mum, here's where we got married, here's where we found out we were having you…

It's a nice thought. Even if it's not with Maddy, I think it'll be nice to be able to look back on these days and remember them.

**Thought for the Day: I think I really hope it will be Maddy. I know it hasn't been long, but she's the most perfect woman I've ever known.**


	34. Quartday, Bertzia 14th 067.M42

Malik hasn't been to work in four days. He's not in my row so when I didn't see him the other day, I just assumed that he'd reported to Scribe-Adept Tarila, that he was ill or something. But then today Tarila reported to Warders that Malik had missed three shifts with unreported absences. You get three strikes across the entire span of your career, on the fourth you're terminated.

He's got a fiancée - it's not like he doesn't have someone who could call in for him. When we caught up to talk about the scrumball group the other day he was just talking about how they'd recently gotten a new holopicter for their hab, trying to encourage Criston to upgrade his older non-stream model. I know he's been here longer than me… and he hasn't used a single unexcused absence in that whole time. This is really out of the ordinary for him.

I asked Tarila if she'd called his hab, she said that she'd tried both his hab, his private vox and his fiancée's private vox frequency but none of the three were answering. His brother is listed as his emergency contact, but he says that he hasn't heard from Malik or his fiancée in several weeks - but that is apparently not out of the ordinary for them. Rather like me and my siblings I guess. I can go months without speaking to either Arlean or Cordell, and now that Lizzy has joined the Priesthood I can only imagine I won't speak to her that often either.

Nobody around the office has seen him since the 10th. It's likely that Criston, Armand and I were the last people - at least from here - to see him before he just disappeared. Tarila hasn't said anything about whether the Magisters have been involved, she's rather quiet on the matter apart from reporting that Malik has been terminated and that she'd tried to contact him. I'm starting to find this rather worrying. Minos is a big hive. People go missing all the time. They fall foul of financial problems, they meet with mishap such as robbery or an unfortunate groundcar crash or they just decide for whatever reason that they want or need to go. Throne, not long after I started Eren Masters got up in the middle of a shift one day, walked out and a year later we heard he'd transferred to one of the Agri-Combines at Tartarus.

But still. Warders got her ascension because Atwater disappeared. Daisy disappeared without notice. That girl from my Shrine. Now Malik. I've never known so many people to just… go missing. Even people I knew tangentially. I know that I shouldn't borrow trouble and go leaping at shadows that just aren't there. But it just feels… odd. Like there's something else going on here, and that nobody seems to be recognising any pattern to it but me.

Maddy seemed especially concerned when she heard. I didn't even know that she knew Malik that well, apart from talking to him occasionally when we were gathered as a group. But she seemed really intent on finding out what I knew, what Tarila had told me about him and his disappearance. She even asked if anyone knew what district he lived in, if anyone had visited his hab or contacted the Magisters down that way. When I said I didn't know and asked why she wanted to know, she seemed really upset by the question and said that Malik was my friend, and that I should be more worried about him just being gone like that without warning, especially when we'd been so busy trying to work out this scrumball thing.

Maybe she's right. I might poke around and ask Tarila a bit more about what's going on in terms of finding out what happened. I'm just a bit worried that now he's terminated, the office in general are just going to wash their hands of it. I'm already looking into Daisy's disappearance… Maybe I should follow up Malik too, even if it's just for my own peace of mind.

**Thought for the Day: Wisdom keeps one out of danger. Bravery is the ability to selectively ignore wisdom.**


	35. Quinday, Bertzia 15th 067.M42

I took a personal day today, so I could go down and see Arlean like she'd asked. I have to admit to telling a slight lie to Scribe-Master Warders - I wouldn't have been able to do so any other way, and Arlean said she wanted to see me this week. So I told Warders that I had a family emergency down in the lower hive, and that my sister had called urgently for my assistance. Thankfully my good attendance stood up for me here. I don't normally ask for time off, and even more rarely for unscheduled time off so she was willing to let me have the day without too many questions. I still feel guilty as frak... calling out at the last moment like that, and even worse lying about it... but this isn't like Arlean. In the time since she joined the Sororitas, she's never called me down to visit her in her clinic. And she's definitely never insisted I come down as soon as I can like that.

So I called in. I told Maddy the truth, of course. I trust that she's not going to betray me. Even if she's the most likely to get a promotion immediately on the back of my downfall. But I do trust her. And Throne bless, she was so lovely about it. She's never even met Arlean, but she was so worried about her - asking if she was well, if she'd fallen ill or fallen into any trouble. I had to tell her I knew about as much as she did at that moment, but I promised I'd update her on what was going on as soon as I saw her again.

Though... there's not really anything to update her on now that I've been and gone down there. Arlean's message had sounded urgent enough - she was insistent that she wanted me there before the week was out, but she wouldn't say why over the vox. But when I got down there, it was almost like she'd forgotten that she'd callled me down there. She seemed surprised to see me when I walked into the clinic, and more than a little distracted. I mean, I know she's busy, and certainly I had no wish to disturb her, but she barely looked at me while we were talking, and every so often she'd just fade off in the middle of a sentence or seem to forget what she was talking about. This isn't like Arlean at all, but she insisted she was fine, just busy, and that if I insisted she called me there, that she had forgotten what was supposed to be so important.

Overall it was just confusing. In the end we talked for a little while longer before she eventually begged off and told me she had to return to her duties. We had a final quick chat about Mum and Dad and Mei, she made a vague promise to come up again for dinner "sometime soon" and then I left.

My first thought was that she had contracted this illness that she told us about last time she came up for dinner. But she didn't seem ill. Admittedly I'm not a chirurgeon, but she didn't seem feverish, or pale or sick-looking. Maybe a bit tired? Maybe she's just feeling a bit run down, all the work has caught up with her. If she'd overreacted to something, I could see her trying to brush it off and pretend it didn't happen, maybe?

Regardless, I was a little annoyed that I spent one of my personal emergency days to do this. I mean, it was good to see my sister again, but still. Maybe I should have called first.

**Thought for the Day: The Emperor will never give you more than you can handle. If you cannot handle His tasks then the failing is yours and yours alone.**


	36. Primoday, Bertzia 18th 067 M42

I wondered if I should tell Mum and Dad about my visit down to see Arlean and how oddly she seemed to be acting. I hadn't told them that she'd invited me, I wasn't sure if she had wanted to talk to me about something to do with Daisy's disappearance, and I didn't want to get their hopes up. 

In the end, I decided against it. She was acting odd, but then she works so hard and the clinic is constantly busy, I'm not surprised that she ended up having a bit of a breakdown. I called her again a couple of days later, and she apologised, telling me that she'd not been sleeping properly, but with a good night's sleep she was feeling much better. But she still couldn't remember what she'd wanted so badly to tell me in the first place, but it might have just been something to do with her episode.

Malik is stiill missing too. Nobody has heard from him, and when I asked Tarila if she'd looked into his disappearance, she told me that she didn't have the time, and that if he wanted to abandon his duty then that failing was on him, and she wasn't going to waste her time and energy chasing down a deserter. That made me sad. Thankfully I'm still close with my parents, and i would like to think that Maddy would be concerned if I suddenly didn't show up to work for over a week. Is it my place to get involved though? Malik was... is a friend, but we weren't exactly close. And not that I really have the time either, between work, making time for my family, seeing Maddy, and when I finally get those files from the Magisters, looking into Daisy's disappearance too. It's not like I'm an Arbites, I'm not an investigator. I'm just an adept.

I'm trying not to let these things all distract me from work either. It's hard some days. The big trade agreements seem to have stalled, negotiations are stopped for now while all parties go back to their respective camps go consider the offers and formulate their counter-offers. Which means that my day to day work for now is just going back to general data transcription, small scale deals and orders - people shipping personal scale acquisitions and importing minor luxury goods. There's been an inrush on ordering ice wine from Kugel - I'm not sure why that's suddenly become popular, but everyone who's everyone wants some. The prices seem reasonable, for now, for an imported wine. Maybe I should try to get a bottle so Maddy and I can give it a go. That might be a nice surprise for her.

Maybe I should get a bottle for Mum too, her birthday is coming up in a couple of months. A nice bottle of imported wine, maybe a gift certificate to a spa... I'll have to get on that.

But apart from the sudden trend in ice wine there's not really anything else of interest happening at the moment, though I'm sure that'll change before long. The trade agreements will start up again, and there will be a push to get them completed before mid-year, so they can be accounted for in this year's tax period. And things are likely to get a bit intense around there. 

Until that point, I'll have to try and keep my focus, not let my worry about Malik and Daisy impact my performance. I'll do what I can about Daisy when I get those files, but apart from that, I just have to keep working, keep my performance up and try not to let myself get too wound up in other people's problems.

**Thought for the Day: A broad mind lacks focus.**


	37. Tertioday, Bertzia 20th 067.M42

I finally got the picter footage from Daisy's file from the Magisters. I arrived home to find the files pushed to my home cogitator from the Magisters' stack. I... may have bitten off more than I can chew. There's so much footage here. The footage from her hab is marked "Elysian", which at least makes it easy to know where to start. But after she leaves the hab, every feed is named according to the owner's personal data scheme - some are date based, some are named according to the building or business that the picter is located in. I can sort the files by the date that they were saved, but some are simultaneous feeds, different views of the same location. Some are going to have a better angle - but then for each one I'm going to have to look at all the feeds and judge this. Not to mention that they've also pulled im picter footage from the surrounding blocks, just in case there's anyone suspicious that they want to track the movement of. I can see why the magisters didn't have the manpower, not for a middle-hive single mother.

But I've started going through the footage, and I've managed to piece together at least the first five minutes of her journey. She comes down from her hab and through the foyer, with a shopping basket and what looks like a list in hand, so she's clearly going shopping, as the Magisters said she appeared to be. The next few feeds I've been able to piece together from the list seem to show her making her way out, joining the crowd on the street and just heading off down the road. She doesn't seem to be doing any window-shopping or dawdling, she's focused on her list and it seems like getting on where she's going as soon as possible. Which makes sense with Mei being left at home like she was. She looks like she doesn't want to be going out, but it's a necessity.

It's going to take me forever to get anything useful out of this mess, but at least I can start. Maddy said she'd come over tomorrow too, she has her own slate, so we can try to at least get a couple of feeds going and see if we can winnow out the most useful ones. Once we've picked up the point where we seem to lose her from the pict streams, then we can at least see what businesses and so forth are in the general area, and perhaps maybe we can go out there and start asking anyone if they saw her that day. It's another long shot, but it's the best chance we have, I think.

I don't know what I'm hoping to find. I guess an answer, a reason. A perpetrator that we can hand footage of over to the Magisters, so they can go and find and arrest him, to give Daisy and Mei some justice and closure. But I can't shake the feeling that might just be hoping for far too much. It's more likely that all we'll get out of this is finding the point where she disappears from the feeds, and that will be it. I pray to the Emperor that He will guide our eyes and hands as we try to find what happened to Daisy.

**Thought for the Day: The foolish man puts his trust in luck, the wise man puts his trust in the Emperor.**


	38. Septday, Bertzia 24th 067.M42

Holy frak. I think we found something. I think we may actually have found something that we can use to begin actually properly looking into Daisy's disappearance. 

Maddy's spent the last couple of days at my place and we've just been going over and over the pict footage, trying to see if we could find the spot where everyone lost sight of Daisy. Even with the both of us, it seemed like an impossible task. We could watch her walking down the street, there didn't seem to be anyone following her, she didn't seem to get into any altercations with any passers-by. There's just a moment in the crowd where she sort of seems to blend with it all, and by the time the part of the crowd that she was in makes it to the next picter, she's just not there any more.

It seems to happen when she passes one of the feeder alleys that leads to the great mass elevators that allows cargo vehicles to move between levels of the hive. It's not actually immediately apparent, but the main picters on the street actually haven't got great visibility of that alley, there's the smallest dead spot between two. While there should be a picter in the alley itself that covers the gap between them, when we finally found the reference and pulled that footage up, it became very apparent that the picter from the alley had failed some time ago.

It was actually Maddy who found anything useful. An office block across the road from the alley had their security picter footage caught up in the data request and one picter in one office a few storeys up just happened to be angled in just the right way to give a partial view of what happened in the alley. 

You can just see Daisy in the crowd, and as she comes into frame she seems to be walking normally on her way. But as she passes this alley - right in the dead spot between the picter ranges - she just suddenly stops and turns, like she's heard something. Then she just steps off of the street and walks down into the alley. It gets a bit hard to see after that, as the picter we found is behind a window, and after a certain point light glare bouncing off the glass gets in the way, but just before she passes completely out of view, it almost looks like she's met by at least two people in robes. Between the angle and the light glare, I couldn't tell which branch of the Adeptus they belonged to, or indeed if they might have been pilgrims or preachers. All I could tell was that they weren't red, so at least that rules one out, I suppose.

But the most disturbing thing wasn't just Daisy suddenly deciding to head off down this alley, despite clearly having a purpose and a daughter to return to. We decided to focus on that footage for a couple of hours either side of Daisy's disappearance, to see if we could catch the people she stopped to speak to either moving closer to the mouth of the alley, or moving into or coming out of it. Which was a bust - they must have come in and left from the lifter end of the alley. But in those hours of footage we scanned through, it wasn't just Daisy who suddenly stops there right in that perfect dead spot, stands there for a moment and then turns to walk off down the alley for no apparent reason. We counted four before her and two after. 

Maddy says we should take this information to the Magisters, hand it back over and get them to look further, but I'm afraid that even if we do they'll just say that there's no evidence of wrondoing. She doesn't look fearful as if they're threatening her - she doesn't even look back at all after stopping. I'm sure they'd argue this could be some prearranged meeting or some other form of gathering. I want to just try and find something more, anything else that I can add that will make it impossible for them to ignore. I'm going to try and put in an application for another period of family leave, this time a few days, so I can spend some time down around that area and see if I can't find anything a bit more solid.

If something has happened to Daisy that's related to these robed figures, I'm not going to just go running down there demanding justice and vengeance. I'm not Sly Marbo or anything like that. But if we have a bit more knowledge, then at least we can convince the authorities to take this a bit more seriously, I should hope at least. 

**Thought for the Day: Knowledge is half the battle.**


	39. Quinday, Bertzia 29th 067.M42

My application for emergency leave was approved yesterday, so today was spent with my slate in hand, picts queued up so that I could try to follow Daisy's footsteps and try to see if I could find out anything more about what happened to her. I decided to start in her building, with the clearest screen shot of the robed figures that we could extract from the picter footage. Once again, Maddy was a lifesaver in that regard - don't ask me where she gained these skills, but it turns out that she's really very handy with a cogitator and pict capture software. Admittedly there's little you can do with a terrible long-range, low resolution image of a hooded figure, but she did her best, and it at least turned out recognisably human. 

I took the shots to Daisy's building, to try and see if any of her neighbours had noticed anything suspicious in the weeks before she walked out - if there'd been any strange figures hanging around the building, any sighting of hooded persons or anyone odd watching the building or lurking around the foyer. Unfortunately most of them didn't really seem to want to talk to anyone. I've got a pretty good relationship with most of my neighbours, the immediate ones anyway. I know that Mrs Blaxland is a widow for example, she lost her husband to a brain-storm about fifteen years ago, and she's lived alone with her cat ever since. And I know that Kyra down the hall is going to be turning six next month, and she's hoping for the fully articulated Knight Titan model with the removable Princeps and the swappable weapons. But Elysian Heights seems to be a different breed of hab block. Only a couple of people knew who Daisy was by name, and those who knew her face knew that she'd gone missing, but nobody seemed to have anything of use to say.

Though having said that, there was one young woman who I spoke to who seemed not to know anything about Daisy, but who said that several weeks before Daisy had even gone missing that she (the young woman) had encountered some very strange sorts at her local shrine. She said that on a couple of occasions when she'd gone to the shrine, she'd run into some of these hooded sorts. They didn't seem to be brothers of the Ecclesiarchy, she says that while they wore humble brown robes they seemed to bear none of the markings of the Cathedral or the shrine itself, and that they didn't spreak while sitting in the pews. She says they sat there, just sitting and watching, and that she encountered them on three separate occasions, then just as suddenly as they had shown up, they were gone again.

Now Daisy didn't attend the shrine that this girl did, but still. It shows these folks have been lurking around for a while, wathing people. It's not out of the realm of possibility that they saw her somewhere else, and picked her for a target after they did. It's still not clear, but again, it's a start.

So once I'd washed out all of my potential leads at Daisy's old hab, I figured I should probably get out and start canvassing the area whre she went missing. I figured that what little questioning the Magistrers did would likely have focus on the main streets around the area... and I wasn't about to waste my time and theirs, rehashing the same information over again. Especially now that several weeks have passed. But I figured that the Magisters might not have checked the alley she went walking down before she disappared off of the camera.

I was right. But it wasn't easy. Once again, many were reluctant to speak to me, for a range of obvious and not so obvious reasons. The alley is not well-populated as these sorts of things go, with most of the businesses that occupy the area being small, private offices that aren't open to the public. And with the alley being a transit route for transports heading to the cargo lift, there's not really much place for vagrants and the homeless to linger, so there was no help there.

And once again, it wasn't Daisy herself who proved to the most important hint, it was these strangers in the robes. Just as I was despairing another dead end, I finally was granted His blessing in the form of the receptionist of a private shipping firm that had an office much further down the alley toward the lift. The young woman was uncommonly chatty - clearly very bored in this off-street office - and after telling me that she didn't know anything about Daisy, when I brought up the issue of the strange, robed people she suddenoy seemed to be a wellspring of information.

It turns out that while she hadn't been in to work on the day Daisy had disappeared (that being one of the days she'd taken off to visit her grandmama for her birthday, so she informed me), she had seen the strange robed people on more than one occasion. She said that she thought they were members of cult or something, that they would come up on the cargo lift every few days, two to four of them, all clad in the same robes, and that while they would come up in those quads or pairs, they would always return with quiet groups of men and women following along behind. I asked her what made her think that these people were part of a cult, and she said not only did they wear these robes, but that under the hoods she'd noticed when passing them on occasion that even though the were clearly different people - and that some were clearly even women - they were all to a person completely shaven-headed.

So we've got some weird, robe-wearing, shaved head cultists snagging people from the street and dragging them off down in the lifts to... Throne knows where. The reception girl said she'd last seen them a few days ago, so if I returned tomorrow or the day after, I might be able to get a better look at them, and maybe find out a bit more about where they're taking people... and hopefully that might lead me to Daisy.

I don't think I'm going to tell mum or Maddy. It would only worry them.

**Thought for the Day: Timidity begets Indecision; Indecision begets Treachery.**


	40. Secunday, Rami 2nd 067.M42

Four days. Four days of sitting around near this alley, watching for people behaving oddly near it, looking for hooded figures lurking within it, or anything else that seemed to be awry. I rented a room in a short-term boarding house nearby, so that I would be able to start early or stay late without having to worry about commuting. I gave Mrs Blaxland my spare key so she could keep an eye on Noodles too. So I was set up to stay down here for a couple of days at least.

I just didn't expect it to take nearly a week just to get any further than I had. I was only able to take a week off of work, and when I got to the end of yesterday without seeing a single hint of the hooded figures, I was afraid that we'd come in too late, that whoever it was responsible for these mysterious people had guided them to move on elsewhere and I wouldn't be able to find them again.

I don't know if I was relieved or worried when I was sitting in a cafeteria nearby having a recaf and trying to wake myself up and I noticed another young woman - this one with a baby in her arms - stopping and staring down into the alley. I was nearly too stunned to do anything, instead I was just sitting there staring for a few moments until I realised that if I got close enough, I might be able to overhear some of what was going on, what they were saying to people to try to convince them to go with the baldy bunch...

As I threw down some scrip and more or less sprinted out the door and to the vantage position that I'd scoped out earlier, I was afraid that I was going to be too late, but His favour was with me, for what it was worth. I certainly got there in time enough to use the crowd as cover to sidle my way into a nearby doorway so I could try to eavesdrop. But there was literally nothing to listen to. Although her baby was crying, the woman herself didn't seem to be talking - all she was doing was staring down the alley, standing just far enough out of the flow of traffic to avoid being run into by other people, and she was otherwise motionless.

I tried to peek out far enough to see down the alley, to see if I could see the hooded ones, figure out what they were doing or showing her to make her so quiescent. But there was no way that I would have been able to see without also giving myself away, which was the last thing I wanted to do. So I just kept watching her. It was eerie, she seemed to have no light in her eyes, no expression on her face. She even seemed completely indifferent to the upset of her own child. I don't know exactly how long it was that she stood there, but at the end, all she did was nod and mumble something - some kind of agreement I think it might have been - and start walking into the alley, with her babe in arms and everything.

I decided then to leave, trying again to blend in with the crowd of traffic who were going in the other direction, so I wouldn't end up crossing the mouth of the alley. I had a plan.

The alley feeds onto one of the vast cargo lifter platform that serves as the primary means of allowing larger transport vehicles to make their way between the markets they service in the various levels of the hive. Now it's not impossible that these hooded weirdoes are taking people back to the lifter platform, then using one of the other feeder alleys or roads to make their way out again either to another section of this precinct, or possibly to another precinct all together. But something told me that wasn't the case. I'm not exactly sure what it was, but my gut was just telling me that the lifter platform was somehow integral to what they were doing.

I'd planned my idea for trying to find more information with the cargo lifter in mind. Even when I'm taking personal time, I never go anywhere without my formal Administratum robes, parchments, quills, seals and ink. There are just some times when you need to get a bureaucrat to assist you with something, and walking the talk is a good way to sometimes get those more stubborn doors open. And it's a bit of a clan thing. We're all tiny cogs in this vast machine, we have to look out for each other. So you'll find that most of us try to.

But that aside, my plan was simple - the Administratum isn't an organisation to waste scrip. These cargo lifters travel in each direction at regular intervals throughout the day. They're always running. And you don't have to book a place, they operate on a queue system, where pedestrian passengers can ride free if they're willing to tuck themselves between the vehicles - and it's not uncommon to see several adepts on lifts travelling in either direction, conveying documents that are too sensitive to transfer over the open vox network, but that perhaps aren't so sensitive to require an expensive mindwipe courier service.

So that was my grand idea - after spending some time scribing up and sealing some gibberish documents, I got myself done up in my robes, pulled my hood and headed for one of the other feeder alleys, to make my way to the boarding queue for the lifters, to linger and watch. 

It took the better part of the day waiting, filtering and circulating through the crowd so I didn't seem to be lingering too much in the one spot, but eventually I saw them. Two dark-robed figures, followed by a placid, forest-leaper-expressioned group of men and women huddled into a small knot. With my hood up, I managed to follow in behind them, just squeaking onto the descending lifter and finding myself a place where I could sit and observe them and at least see which level of the hive they took themselves to.

I had a good opportunity to look at both the robed people and their followers while we were descending, as it took a fair while to get down to the level they seemed to be seeking. The followers just seemed to be ordinary men and women, no specific age or homeworld that I could see. Just all kinds of men and women and the only thing they really had in common was the blank, distant stare on them, like they weren't taking anything around them in. I saw the woman with the baby again, she was holding him loosely to her chest. And mercifully, by now he seemed to be sleeping.

The hooded ones were another matter entirely. I couldn't tell you if they were man or woman, the robes they wore seemed to give them such a lumpish, lopsided aspect. They kept their hoods up even higher than mine, so seeing their features was a tricky prospect at best. But as I was trying once more to get a look at their little group about two hours into our journey, under the only semi-fictitious cover of needing to stand to work a cramp from my leg, one of them seemed to look back at me. All I can say is that he looked... unhealthy. There was an odd pallor to his skin where the light from the lumens fell on it, some soft of bluish-grey, almost like they depict corpse-flesh in the holopicts. And his eyes. They were dark and beady, and I swear on the Throne and the blessed Saints that it felt like he was staring right through into my soul when he looked at me. All I could think to do was sign the Aquila and mutter a blessing to him, before he turned back to his fellow and his charges.

It took nearly six hours on that lifter before we finally got to their chosen level. I'd expected it to be a fair way down, but imagine my surprise after I waited for them to clear and I made my way off of the lifter to find myself in the very lower hive level where my sister's clinic resides. Which is a degree of coincidence just a little too high for my liking.

I'd told Maddy that I wouldn't take any stupid risks, and I couldn't shake the feeling that the one on the lifter who'd looked at me had somehow identified me. So I decided to leave them there and to find the most secure hab room I could afford to get some rest. I'll take the first lifter back up in the morning and give the information I've found to the Magisters. I just hope that they take it a bit more seriously this time.

**Thought for the Day: Will is not enough. Act!**


	41. Tertioday, Rami 3rd 067.M42

I'm still in the rented hab room down in the lower levels, it's just after three in the morning. 

Someone's been trying to open my door.

I'm thankful that the merchants and habiteliers of these levels know that travelling merchants and adepts like having somewhere secure to sleep - with enough scrip you can rent a room with barred windows, plasteel-lined doors, those sorts of things.

The next lifter back to the surface is supposed to leave this level at just after six, so I'd intended to sleep until five, then make my way out there. I was a little disturbed by the way the hooded one had looked at me, so I decided to pay for the most secure room I could find and get as much rest as I could before I went back up. 

I should have turned around and gotten on the next lifter back up last night. But I didn't want to make it too obvious I was up to something. The time we got in, it's not unreasonable that an adept would have taken a room for the night before carrying on business in the morning. I'm just really thankful right now that I decided to spend that scrip on the secure room.

I don't know who's out there. I don't know if they know that I'm awake now. I'm not even sure what woke me up, they seem to be trying to be careful. I can see the handle moving, but it's slow, cautious. Like they're trying to feel it out. The door has three locks - the external room lock, an electronic lock and a huge, thick bolt on the inside. So I'm fairly confident they can't get in.

I don't think I'll be getting any more sleep before I leave. I just hope that they'll give up before then and that they're not lying in wait for me when I do.

**Thought for the Day: Rest well. One can never be too prepared for what trials the morning may bring.**


	42. Quartday, Rami 4th 067.M42

Blessed Saint Celadine, I don't think I've ever been so happy and relieved as I was to finally shut my front door behind me just now. And not just because I was greeted by a squeaking little fuzzball.

I ended up waiting in that hab room until nearly lunch time in the end, watching the door and just waiting to see what they'd do next. I don't think it would have been smart to go back to sleep after they woke me, and I don't think I would have been able to even if I'd wanted to. 

Originally I'd thought to keep my original plan of leaving to get the six am lifter. I just wanted to get out of there and get back up to my home as soon as I could, but I was worried whether they would just be lurking somewhere, watching and waiting for me. I mean, given that whoever it was tried to come for me in the middle of the night, I'm sure that no matter what time I left, they'd had someone out there keeping an eye on me, but I figured the longer I waited, the more chance there was that I'd be able to slip out unnoticed in the crowds later in the day, that they'd be tired or distracted or Throne, perhaps they'd need a biological break. Creepy weird kidnapping cultists still use the bathroom like everyone else, right?

I decided to wait until just before twelve - thirteen tends to be the start of the mid-day break period for most larger institutions and businesses, but foot traffic around the streets tends to pick up about an hour or so before that in most levels. Thankfully I'd already paid for the night, and as long as I was out before thirteen I wouldn't have to pay for a second day. 

I was going to continue wearing my adept robes, keeping up the idea that I was nothing more than an adept ferrying documents around, but after the events of the morning I decided it was probably safer just to put my civilian clothes back on to travel in. If they'd swapped shifts in any way, I figured a description of me would include the fact that they were looking for a robed adept. Not just an ordinary guy in regular shirt and trousers. I had also thought of heading for the regular commuter transit to get back up to my level, but the nearest station is much further toward the centre of the hive, and to be completely honest I didn't want to stay walking around on this level any much more than I had to. The lifter was right there, I'd be able to mingle with the crowd heading up and I wouldn't be walking on my own through the streets in an area where I've got no idea how many of these people could possibly be lurking.

The Emperor was looking out for me today. Once I'd packed my things, I made my way down to the lobby of the block and found a place where I could watch the street without being immediately visible from the outside as far as I could tell. I thought I might wait and watch, to see if I could find a large enough group of people heading in the right direction to be able to mingle with, and slip away out of their notice. I don't know if they were still even watching or not, but it turned out that just as I got myself settled in my vantage point, a nearby workplace must have let out for lunch or something, because an absolute flood of people just started milling about on the street outside, eventually all dispersing to move off in all different directions - including the one that I needed to head in. So I picked up my gear, slipped out the door and tried to filter my way through to the centre of the biggest group heading out toward the lifter.

I honestly don't know if they were watching me leave. I tried to keep my eyes open as I walked, keep looking around me - thankfully I could play a bit of the "Naïve upper-hiver making his first visit to the lower levels", and it just came off as me being an idiot who'd found himself out of his depths for the first time (not so far from the truth, funnily enough) - so my wide-eyed gazing wasn't anything to be particularly noted. But I don't know who, if anyone, they would have stationed watching me. Would it be one of the robed folks? Another bald-headed freak? Just some ordinary guy in work coveralls or a Sister in Hospitaler robes? When you don't know who you're looking for, it's very hard to tell if you're being followed.

But there wasn't any one particular person who seemed to crop up more frequently than anyone else and nobody seemed to weirdly be constantly going in the same direction as me. People filtered in and out of the group I'd latched myself to and I made it back to the lifter queue without encountering any sort of oddity, at least that I noticed. And once again I was able to peel my way off and mix into the smallish crowd gathered there to wait for the lifter and eventually make my way aboard.

The trip back up in the lifter was probably one of the most fraught of my life. Despite that most of them had been there waiting already and had barely spared me a glance when I'd arrived and made my way onto the lifter, I was still nervous and couldn't stop myself from watching everyone who came near or even looked too long in my direction. But despite my paranoia, none of them seemed to care, and by the time I got back to my level I think I'd finally relaxed a bit.

Having said that though, I still didn't go straight home. Thankfully twenty-fourth is a fair way from my home precinct, and there's a few different ways to get there between the magrail, walking and taking the trolley. I took the most roundabout way I could think of to get home, and though it took me another three and a half to get there, I think I was finally able to reassure myself that I wasn't being followed, and that it would be safe to go there.

Tomorrow I have to go back to work, but after my shift is done I'll be taking what I've found to the Magisters and handing it off to them. And if they don't want it, I may see if I can escalate it to the Arbites. It's about damned time that a professional started looking into this, because I think it's much more than just a single mother getting fed up and abandoning her baby.

 

**Thought for the Day: Always strive for success. Even if you fail, the memory of your deed may inspire another to achieve victory where you could not.**


	43. Quinday, Rami 5th 067.M42

Throne, I didn't realise how much I missed the ordinary things, even just the routine of being at work. It's been just on a week, but it feels like the last time I walked through those doors and sat at my cogitator was some immeasurable time ago.

I have to admit to a bit more than a small amount of trepidation when I left my hab this morning; every person on the street outside was a potential threat, a watcher waiting for me. I keep telling myself that there's no possible way that they could know who I was, where I came from. I took as many precautions as possible, made sure I didn't come straight from the lifter to home. I didn't see anyone who seemed to be following me, and there were no familiar faces or odd-looking sorts lingering around my block when I left.

Saints, listen to me. Talking about "they", as if I even know who "they" are. Some group of robed, creepy weirdos who have some bald freaks amongst their number. Who are apparently stealing people from the mid-hive to take down to the lower hive by… mindwiping them in some way? Who might be following me around the place now because they know I’m interested in them. Emperor knows if I was listening to anyone else tell this tale, I'd probably be looking for the nearest medicae to offer them something soothing and possibly a precautionary lobotomy.

Though as much as I'd missed my routine, it was hard to settle back into the flow of things properly. Mining operations on the antilium began a little under a month ago, and after some initial setbacks, it seems they're in the full swing of things. My entire feed this morning was mining reports, purity samples, pricing adjustments. Normally all extremely fascinating and enough to keep me engaged throughout the whole day, but for some reason I was finding it hard to keep myself properly focused on the work. I just kept seeing the one who'd looked at me, feeling the weight of that terrible, dark gaze on me. I hope I never see anyone like that again.

Speaking of seeing someone again… How good it was to see Maddy once more. If we hadn't been at work I think I would have just grabbed her up and never let her go. But just seeing her smile was enough to make me forget about creepy weirdness for a while. Unfortunately we didn't get a chance to catch up with things during the day, everyone wanted to know what I got up to on my "vacation". Thankfully I was able to get away without lying when I said that I went down-hive to the level where my sister works, which was enough to satisfy most of them.

I eventually made it through the day, even though at some points it felt like it wasn't going to end. But the bell finally rang, the cogitators locked down and we were free. I was going to head straight down to twenty-fourth and go to the Magisters on my own, but Maddy insisted on coming with me, which I was glad for in all honesty. I mean, I enjoy her company at any time, and it was nice to have her by my side again, but it was also good to have someone that I could talk over what I'd seen and been through, so I could get my thoughts in order before trying to present them to the Magisters.

She was… not happy to hear about my experiences in the last couple of days. I got a bit of a lecture about being safe and not taking stupid risks, leaving these things to the professionals - but as I said to her, I had no idea that it would turn out like this. I thought I'd follow these people down somewhere to some… I don't know, some church or shrine or some commune or something, I might see Daisy again or find someone who knew of her, and I'd be able to point the Magisters in that direction.

I wish I could say that we marched in to see the Magisters, that we sat down and showed them everything, they took all of my evidence and ran with it but… No. I got told that the Senior Magister in charge of the case was busy, but that he could see me in three days. I got given an appointment. To see a Magister about what could be a crime crime. Despite me telling them that more people might be taken. Anything to do with the Xia-Yung case was to go through Senior Magister Josiah and they wouldn't hear a word of anything more.

Maddy tried to encourage me to take this to the Arbites, but I'm still not sure. They're the upholders of the Lex, they deal with major crimes against the Imperium. Serious matters like mass murder, or crimes against the state. Not a handful of missing people who might have gone with a creepy group that may or may not be kidnapping them. I'll give the Magisters one more chance, I'll see what Josiah has to say on Primoday and if it still seems like they're not interested in doing their jobs, then I guess I'll have no choice but to escalate it.

**Thought for the Day: Keep faith, not hope. High hopes only increase how far your spirits can fall.**


	44. Septday, Rami 7th 067.M42

I was woken this morning by my vox going off at some ridiculous time, I think it was about two or so. Ordinarily I set my vox to "do not disturb" when I go to bed, Throne knows everyone hates getting servitor calls at frak-you-o'clock (No, thank you, I really don't want to know anything about an investment opportunity in Hive Nyx. I'd really just like to sleep) - but it is set to allow through emergency calls, it's got Scribe-Master Warders' number programmed in to allow, as well as Maddy's and my family.

I'd been having a pretty intense dream when it woke me. I can't remember much now, just mental images and half-remembered feelings of being chased, being suffocated. But the damned thing startled me awake in a near panic, wondering who the frak would be calling at that hour, what had exploded or otherwise gone so horribly wrong that someone would do that? I knew it couldn't be Maddy, she was still asleep next to me at the time, but I was terrified that it would be Mum calling to tell me something horrible had happened to Mei. Or that it would be Warders, telling me that some massive data surge had happened and that we were all recalled to duty immediately.

It wasn't any of them. It was Arlean, again. And again, she was acting really weird for her. She seemed panicked, worried about something. I couldn't really get a word in edgeways to ask her what was wrong, but I didn't really need to. She just kind of spilled, saying that she needed to talk to me, that she'd remembered what she forgot to tell me about when I came to visit her (nearly a month ago, mind), that it was something to do with Daisy but that she couldn't tell me over the vox, that she was taking a risk even calling me to talk to me like that.

I tried to convince her to come up again, to come and stay with Mum and Dad if something was going on, that we could go to the Magisters. I told her I'm going with my evidence tomorrow, and that if she had some sort of eyewitness account of something nefarious happening, that would only help strengthen the case I was trying to get rolling. But she wouldn't listen to me, she kept saying that she couldn't leave, she couldn't spend the time necessary to explain what she'd seen, that she just needed me to come down and see her. I said I'd try my best, but my absences from work were already starting to get noted, and if I took too many more then it could spell trouble for my prospects for advancement in the future. She just told me to get down there as soon as I could, then the line was closed.

It was possibly the most confusing interaction I've ever had with Arlean - even more confusing than when I went down to visit her last month. I've never known her to be so panicky and scattered like that. Part of me wanted to wake Maddy and ask her what I should do, but I didn't want the both of us to be exhausted for work the next day. So I set my slate down and tried to get back to sleep while I still could. I managed it in the end, thank the Throne, and when I woke it all just seemed so surreal that I had a hard time believing I hadn't just dreamed it. But the call log on my slate confirmed it, and even if it hadn't, when she woke Maddy's first question to me was asking who the call in the night was from.

Maddy seemed worried too, but she thinks I shouldn't go down to see Arlean. She thinks something bad is happening, and that I should just add this to the report I'm giving to the Magisters, and let them try to deal with it. With the way Arlean's been acting, she says the best case scenario is that she's had some kind of… mind-break from the stress of her work and the increased patient load due to this illness that's plaguing the lower hive or the worst case scenario is that it is something to do with this group, this… cult… and that they have done or are threatening to do something to her - that they did actually make me when I went down there and rather than coming after me directly, they're trying to use her to get me. Which is just ridiculous. Even if they did figure out exactly who I was, she doesn't use her full name in her work - she's Sister Arlean. So the link to me would be tenuous at best.

I really feel like I should do something, she's my big sister. Maddy says that going to the Magisters is doing something, but given how disinterested they've been of late, I'm worried that it's just going to be something else they're going to push off to the side as not important enough to care about.

 

**Thought for the Day: Innocence ends when war begins.**


	45. Primoday, Rami 8th 067.M42

I… don't know what to say or do right now.

I took the information I had to the Magisters today, trotted off to my appointment at the allotted time like a good little citizen. I didn't record Arlean's call (I didn't think I would need to, it was just a call with my sister for Throne's sake!), but I'd written down as much as I could remember of our conversation. I finished up work, got my files in order and headed down to twenty-fourth. I attended the watch-house, presented myself to the adept at the desk, sat down and waited.

And waited.

Apparently Senior Magister Josiah was busy, which I understand, I really do. The wheels of Imperial justice and the criminals of the hive don't stop doing what they do just because Rewalt Mason needs to see the Magister but… Throne. He could have sent an underling to see me, couldn't he? Just someone to collect the information and take my statement? 

I ended up waiting for nearly three and a half hours, before the Senior Magister finally came out to see me and take me into an office for interviewing. I say interviewing. He barely seemed to care about anything I had to say, and when I admitted that the footage we found didn't show any evidence of coercion or threat being used to draw Daisy or any of the others over and that I didn't actually know who'd tried to break into my hab room in the lower hive, he essentially closed the file, thanked me for my time and told me that as there was still no evidence of an actual crime occurring that they would not be re-opening the case. Thank you, don't come again.

I wonder now if I'd have any more luck going to see the Arbites. If the Magisters are complaining I don't have enough actual evidence, are the Judges likely to be happy with what I have? Will they accept my statement, or would they want more actual evidence? Anyway, it's rather academic now. After having so much of my time wasted by Josiah tonight, I didn't have the time to look up the location of the Arbites Precinct House, make my way there, find someone to tell my whole tale to and then wait for them to tell me if I had enough evidence or not. So I just ended up coming home and trying to call Maddy to talk to her about what happened, but her vox just rang out. I guess she was asleep or helping her Mum or something, so I suppose I'll try to talk to her tomorrow at some point.

Throne, I hope she's right and the Arbites will want to take this a bit more seriously. I mean… it seems like a cult, right? I don't think I'm misreading the situation… odd people, dressed strangely. People going missing, strange occurrences, threatening behaviour when people try to look into it. I mean, I hope I'm wrong but I fear I'm not.

**Thought for the Day: Keep faith, not hope. High hopes only increase how far your spirits can fall.**


	46. Secunday, Rami 9th 067.M42

I asked Maddy to come with me to the Arbites this evening, but she said she couldn't, said her Mum was sick again and she needed her, and that she'd actually put in for a few days emergency leave to help deal with it. I'm not surprised to hear it. She looked so tired, like she hadn't slept a wink the night before, but I hadn't wanted to be so crude to ask if there was something wrong. I asked if there was anything I could do, if she wanted me to come by and bring her anything or keep her company, but she said that her Mum really didn't like company coming around when she was in a state. It makes me a bit sad to think that she has to handle all of this on her own, but she knows she can always call me if she needs me.

Things were tense at work today too. Though much slower than I expected, the Hadrigan Cartel have formally submitted their claim for mismanagement of the antilium trade routes to the planetary governor, claiming they have evidence of the Kai-Ten Conglomerate being incapable of managing their resources and security properly. The Kai-Tens have yet to respond as the petition was only submitted a couple of days ago, but rumour from the stacks has it that they're not pleased, and there's evidence starting to show up in the feeds that suggests they might have actual evidence that the Hadrigans are behind the attacks on them. At the very least they're acting as if they do. If they're able to provide evidence that the Hadrigans have been colluding with pirates and raiders, then this is likely to just explode in everyone's face. The Arbites will likely have to get involved, as this would constitute a major breach of the Lex and if true then the heads of a dynasty would have to be called to judgement.

I guess we just watch this space and wait and see. Apart from the worry about the new move by the Hadrigans and the subsequent gathering of resources by the Kai-Tens, the rest of the day really passed without major incident. Nothing else really sticks in the mind.

After my shift was done I was able to get away without getting caught by anyone - it's much easier without Malik around, he was really the biggest culprit for grabbing me the moment before I made it out the door, and somehow managing to wrangle me into a conversation that would leave me sprinting to try and get to the magrail on time. But I managed to get out and away, and found my way to the Arbites Precinct House up in Tenth.

Thankfully they were willing to see me immediately. Judge Hooke was very interested in hearing what I had to say when I reported that I was concerned about possible cult activity not just in the lower hive, but extended up to and affecting citizens at this level. I told her everything, shared the files I had and the information I'd managed to gather. She was concerned, and she said that they would look at perhaps sending some patrols down to have a look into it, but… I got the distinct impression from her tone that it was going to be another low priority. Even with my recounting of Arlean's vox call. She seemed almost apologetic, and she said that she'd do what she could, but…

There wasn't much to be said after that, so I left to head home. I don't know what to do now. I tried doing what Maddy said, and taking it to the authorities, but nobody seems to want to take it seriously. If Arlean's really in trouble, I can't just leave things to wait for when the Arbites can happen to send a patrol down that way, who knows if they'd even look in on her. It’s not like the do a hab-care service or anything like that. Throne. I need a drink.

**Thought for the Day: An enemy cares not who has the authority to stop him, only who has the power to.**


	47. Tertioday, Rami 10th 067.M42

I've decided what I'm going to do. I don't want to worry Maddy or Mum, but I can't shake the feeling that something is very, incredibly wrong. It's been four days since Arlean called me, and I've tried calling her several times since, she won't answer at all.

The Arbites seem concerned, but their view seems to be that if they send out a patrol that way they'll look for things to support the evidence I gave. They're not in a rush to follow up on what's possibly happened to my sister, or my sister in law, or my workmate or any of the other people who've disappeared from these streets in recent weeks and months.

The Magisters seem like they just couldn't give a frak at all. They didn't even give the same half-hearted promises of looking into the matter. That's just it, case closed, it's off their doorstep. The waif has a home, the missing woman seemed to go consensually and there's nothing more to be done.

I've asked Mum to come over tomorrow to pick up Noodles and look after her for a few days. Mei will love seeing the kitten again. I told her that some more work has come up, that I might have to sleep at work again for a few days. Thankfully the trade troubles have been all over the newscasts, so it wasn't hard to sell that side of the story. I tried calling Maddy too, but her vox was off again. I suppose that she's turned it off while she's helping her Mum out and her hands are full. I left a message for her instead. I told her everything, I needed to tell someone… and I didn't want Mum to worry while she's got her hands full with Mei, and I figured Maddy probably won't check her vox messages until after she's finished with her Mum, and hopefully I'll be back with Arlean in tow by then. 

I've packed a bag with a few days of clothes. I'll be dressing down, I won't go in as an Adept this time. I'll go on the public mass trans rather than the cargo lifter, I'll go in as close to Arlean's clinic and her home as I can, I'll find her and get out. If I see any of the weird cult people, I'll try to take some picts or… get a description or something I can take back to the Arbites. But I'll just focus on getting Arlean out. If she's really in trouble, she needs to be away from there. If she's just having a breakdown, then she should still be away, back with her family, where she can rest and recover. I'll take the blame for it should anything come of it.

Once I'd called Mum and Maddy, I called in to work and reported myself out with a family emergency. It'll be a strike, but at this point I don't really care. I can make a perfectly serviceable living as I am, as a Scribe-Adept. I don't need to move up to Scribe-Master or beyond, and I wouldn't want to anyway if I did so at the expense of my sister. I know duty falls before family, but Throne… without my family, I've got almost nothing.

**Thought for the Day: All battle requires sacrifice, either in blood or principle.**


	48. Quartday, Rami 11th 067.M42

I can't find Arlean, and I don't know what to do now. The Sister on reception at her clinic says they haven't seen her since the sixth, the day before she called me in the middle of the night. 

I'm staying in a habitel down near her clinic. I considered getting a high-sec one, but most of those are closer to the travel hubs, and I didn't want to move that far away from where she should be. Thankfully there was one that at least had a decent security rating not too far, and I was able to get an internal room with no windows and only single door access, so it's better than nothing. 

After I'd set everything up last night, it was almost impossible to get to sleep. I ended up sitting up for half of the night, playing with Noodles and worrying about everything. About Maddy and her mum. About Arlean. Daisy. Had I bitten off more than I could chew? Should I just turn around and cancel my emergency leave, go to work and pretend nothing happened? Eventually I think I just passed out, I was that tired. But I knew I wasn't going to give it up.

I left as early as I could, and I took the first Magrail down to the lower hive. I was surprised at how busy it was. Normally I travel later in the day, and I can understand why it's relatively busy at that time, but wow. I… didn't realise how many people travelled down there on a daily basis. I guess I just don't think too much about going to the lower hive unless I absolutely have to. But still. It was nearly halfway through the day by the time I got down and made my way to her clinic.

The clinic was full to bursting, people were sitting on the floor, lying on the floor, leaning against walls and doors and each other… I didn't realise how dire it was getting down here. And it was hard to tell who was actually sick, who was just here supporting someone else. I very nearly couldn’t make my way through the throng to the reception counter, and trying to get the novitiate Sister sitting there to hear me without shouting at her was a nightmare. She finally managed to tell me that Arlean hadn't reported for duty for the fifth day in a row. I asked if she might have been back at the convent house, perhaps she'd fallen ill or been given another duty or been made to undertake some penance. Unfortunately the Sister at the desk was not of sufficient rank to tell me this, but she offered to pass my details onto one of the more senior Sisters and get them to call me. I had to accept, what else could I do?

So now I'm waiting. To hear back from one of the ranking Sisters, to find out if they know anything about where my sister could be. I considered going for a walk in the streets around the clinic, to see if I could find any places she might have regularly frequented, but I know Arlean. She would have gone straight from the convent house to the clinic and back again when her shift was done. She wouldn't dally at any of the stores nearby. Everything she needs is provided by the Sororitas. Everything she wants is provided by her work. 

But it wasn't only that. While I was down there, even in the clinic but especially when I stepped outside again, I just couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. I couldn't see anyone obviously staring at me, and I definitely don't think I saw any of those robed freaks but… It just still felt like someone or something had their eyes on me, constantly. I couldn’t shake the feeling pretty much until I'd gotten up to the hab room and locked the door. I don't know, perhaps it's just nerves after what happened last time and after finding out that Arlean's missing. 

I can't shake this horrible feeling. I think something really terrible has happened to my big sister. Throne help me, I don't know what to do.

**Thought for the Day: Though the time is dark, my faith shines.**


	49. Quinday, Rami 12th 067.M42

Oh Throne. Holy God-Emperor. I don't know where I am. And they know who I am. They've known since I got down here at least. Since I came down last time to follow the hooded people. I don't know how, but they know. They didn't try to come for me in my room last night. They're smart, I don't know if they knew which room I'd booked, or if they just took the assumption from last time I was here. They waited. 

I went back to the clinic to ask about Arlean again. I spoke to a one of the senior Sisters. She looked ill herself, tired and hollow-eyed. She told me that Arlean had taken a vow and was leaving on a pilgrimage. That's a lie, I know it's a lie. Even with her faith, Arlean would never just leave like that, not without telling us. But I couldn't argue with her. What was I going to do? Accuse a Sister of lying to me? Even if I'd wanted to, I was concerned by the way the enforcers that they had were looking at me. Like they were just waiting for me to step out of line…

I thought they were enforcers for the clinic. It makes sense. We've had news reports in the past, when an outbreak of an illness occurs, clinics and chirurgeons will get overrun with desperate people seeking treatment, panicky and sometimes violent. Clinics hire muscle to look after their Sisters and chirurgeons. So I didn't think anything about their presence - until I left and they started following me.

I panicked. I didn't know what to do. They hadn't come for me the night before, so I assumed they didn't know I'd come down, but now I'm not so sure. I tried to lose them as I left the clinic, removing my jacket, putting glasses on, moving in the crowds. But every time I thought I'd lost them, I'd turn around again and there… someone was. Bald head. Or black eyes. Or robes. Or some combination of the three. They're everywhere down here. 

But then while I was trying to get away from them, I got lost. These streets aren't like my level of the hive. They're a warren, a maze. Alleys lead onto buildings that open out on to major streets that then end up in a dead end. I got turned around. Half the signs are missing, or pointing in the wrong direction. And the feed is patchy at best. Repeaters must be damaged, or so far away as to not have proper coverage. 

The point being, that I'm here. I don't know where "here" is. Some warehouse or… abandoned building. I'm hiding in a small room away from the doors. They - whoever they are - know that I'm somewhere here, and they're between me and where I need to be. I can hear noises outside, people running past. Shouting. I don't know if it's related to me or not. I don't know what to do.

I'm here in the dark and I'm hiding and I don't know what to do.

Help.


	50. Septday, Rami 14th 067.M42

Everything I thought I knew was wrong.

I spent… I don't know how long… hidden there in that warehouse or whatever it was. I think I might have even managed to doze off at one point, I had nothing better to do, despite how terrified I was. I didn't want to waste my slate power using it constantly, and without a connection to a feed there wasn't much point anyway. 

But after a few hours I woke up sometime in the night. I didn't think to check the time, but it seemed quiet and I decided to make a break for it. I figured if they knew vaguely where I might be, and I could sneak away then surely they wouldn't be able to have the whole level covered, and I'd be able to break my way up again on the magrail or one of the cargo lifters or something.

I should have known it wouldn't be as easy as that. They were watching and waiting. I didn't realise it at first, and I made my way from where I was back out to the side streets. I wasn't stupid enough to go straight out onto the main streets, and I'm glad I wasn't - every time I looked out there, I just saw more of the bald and robed priest-people. I tried to keep moving out of their sight, but they were already on me. They were just waiting their chance.

It was a stupid mistake. I was trying to stay off the main streets and out of their sight, and I blundered down a dead-end alley. Which must have been what they were waiting for. Four of them, huge and just… lumpy… It's the only way I can really describe them. They were hitched and… twisted in some way. Bald and dark-eyed and I swear one of them had three arms. Mutants or… something. 

I don't remember much after that point. One of them opened his mouth, I remember his teeth were so sharp-looking, even in the darkness of the alley. He said something about the Emperor and giving myself and…

The next thing I remember is something small and dark just… grabbing me and dragging me back, throwing me against a wall. I didn't even realised I'd walked so far back down the alley toward the mutants. What happened next was insane even by the standards of a day that had gone completely mad. The black-clad figure just rinsed through these mutant men like… Like a knife through starch-loaf. They had knives and what looked like claws, talon hands. And this person just dodged and weaved and kicked and punched and stabbed like Dark Stalker. Except for real. I mean, I'm pretty sure this wasn't a cartoon.

And as suddenly as it started, it was done. The mutant guys were on the ground. I don't know if they were just knocked out or if they were actually dead, and frankly I don't care much at this point. At least with them down it meant I was safe for a moment. Though when that masked person turned to me, I have to admit that I wasn't sure if I was going to get out of that alley again.

That was until she spoke. And told me off for being an idiot and following trouble when she'd told me time and time again that I should leave it to the authorities to handle. I must have looked as confused as frak (which admittedly is because I was), because she just grabbed my hand and tried to drag me out of the alley. There would be more on the way, she said, they knew for sure where we were now, and we had to get to ground.

I wish I could say that I was smart then, and just followed without question. This woman had just saved me by kicking seven flavours of shit out of these guys, and she was insisting we should go. So I probably should have just followed. I mean, I've seen enough holodramas to know that the idiot who stands there going "But who are you?" is the one who cops a lasbolt next. But still I did it. As if what she'd said to me wasn't indication enough of who she was.

Thankfully Maddy's the forgiving sort. And much smarter than I. She didn't bother answering, just grabbed my hand and dragged me out of there. I wanted her to lead me toward the holorail station, I was praying she would. But I'm not so lucky. We had to go deeper in-hive. She said that her cell (?) were not there yet, they were still on the way, but that the cult had all of the transport hubs and lifters watched. They had enough people to do that now, she said. Which was not at all a reassuring sentiment.

We spent most of yesterday hopping from bolt-hole to bolt-hole. She has a safe house set up down here, but, well. Obviously it wouldn't be so safe if we just led them straight to it. But we finally managed to give them the slip and find our way down here. I had to thank the Saints that it wasn't just a cupboard in some abandoned building. At least there was a bed and a couch, and I was able to pass out.

When I woke up, Maddy was gone. She'd left a note saying that she'll be back soon, and when she is she'll explain everything. I'm still so confused.

I wish I'd never gotten involved with this. I wish I'd never gotten curious and nosy, that I'd just accepted that Daisy was gone and nobody knew where she'd gone and that was that. Maybe they would have left Arlean alone if I hadn't been prying, she'd seemed okay until I was stupid enough to start poking around these things. But something tells me that it was only a matter of time, I might have just escalated things.

I'm sorry Arlean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For anybody who called Maddy - contgratulations ^_^)


	51. Primoday, Rami 15th 067.M42

Maddy was gone for most of the day yesterday, which I'm not too proud to admit, was bloody terrifying. I didn't know where she'd gone or what she was doing, and although I know that she can handle herself (which was pretty damned obvious after she dragged me away from that ambush or whatever it was), I couldn't stop imagining the worst things happening.

Thankfully she showed up again later in the evening, and she seemed to be intact. I'd been able to charge my slate, so at least I had something to read while I was waiting, though I still don't have a connection to the feed, so I haven't been able to check the news or send any messages. Not that I would anyway. Maddy had already warned me that for now, we're hiding and I can't send any messages or try to call anyone until she says so.

She was really very upset when she returned, and it took some time for her to calm down enough to actually want to talk to me about what was going on. That was after she'd told me that it wasn't my business and that I needed to shut up and sit down to let her think. She's never snapped at me like that before, but then… The girl I thought that I knew, who I thought was my girlfriend - that's not her, is it?

It must have been obvious that she'd upset me, because she did actually stop and apologise after a while. I told her she didn't have to tell me everything, but… I think she wanted to talk. And I understood why after she did.

She told me that there was a lot of history behind who she was and that it wasn't important right now, but that I could keep calling her Maddy - it's not her real name, but it's the name she's used for a while apparently, and it's what most of her friends refer to her by.

She says that she's from Scintilla, and that she's an agent of the Inquisition. She was so matter-of-fact about it, like you would be introducing yourself at a party - "Hi, I'm Maddy and I work for the Inquisition…" But she says that she was sent here to look into the rumours that one of the major trade operations on Asphodel had fallen to Xeno influence and was operating contrary to Imperial interests. And that's why she ended up in the Office of Tithing and Export Management. She told me that she'd infiltrated the Office in order to just get as much information as she could about the Kai-Ten Conglomerate and their dealings on Asphodel, so that she could try and find a way to insinuate herself into their operation, but that once she'd actually joined us she realised that we didn't just take publicly-available information. Apparently the upper ranks of the Office somehow have managed to set up operatives and systems in order to spy on nearly every single trade organisation on the planet. It made sense to me then why she'd been curious about the way that that data came into the office.

It was when I told her about Daisy's disappearance and she started putting things together with other missing persons reports that she'd seen that she realised that there was more than just the possibility of the corrupted Conglomerate, and that there was possibly a much bigger problem actually here in Hive Minos, and that what we'd seen on the pict footage we got from Daisy's case confirmed it.

She called them Genestealers. Some kind of… Monstrous parasite species that apparently infiltrates worlds, beguiling and corrupting the population in secret, gradually building up a powerbase of both brainwashed slaves as well as mutated half-creatures, until they finally build up enough influence to topple the power structure of the world and take over completely. Every time she'd disappeared and told me that she'd been off taking care of her mum, she's actually been down here, trying to investigate and gather evidence without being caught by them. Hence the bruises that time. They'd set up a trap and very nearly managed to capture her, but she managed to fight them off and flee without being identified, but not before they injured her a bit.

And now that they know who I am, she says that they're not going to stop until they find me again. They know I'm down here so they're going to focus their efforts down here, but if I go home I'm just going to draw their attention up there, to everyone up there - Mum and Dad and Me. So I need to stay down, stay in hiding with her for now. She says that if we can properly give them the slip, I might be able to do something to try and convince the rest of my family to get out of here, get away from Minos - possibly off of Asphodel all together. I have no idea how I'd even do something like that, but I'm sure I'll think of something.I asked her what her plan was, what we could or should do. To my surprise, and somewhat to my relief, her answer was hide. Apparently a little bit ago she sent a message to her masters, letting them know of the threat here and how bad it was shaping up to be, and now she's waiting for their response. She thinks it should be any day now, that she'd sent the missive long enough ago that they should be on their way, if not just about here. 

But when I asked her what they'd do when they got here, she got cagey again. She said it was probably for the best if I just didn't think about that right now, if I focus on following her instructions and trying to keep my head down so that we can get through this until they do. I wasn't at all reassured by her expression when she said that.

The conversation kind of faltered after that point. I got the feeling that there was more that she wanted to tell me, but by the same token that she was worried about doing so. I tried to get a bit more out of her, but she told me that we'd have plenty of time to talk in the coming days.

I get the feeling we might be down here for a while.


	52. Secunday, Rami 16th 067.M42

I woke up so exhausted and flat-feeling this morning, it left me worrying that I was starting to come down with something. For a moment I was even afraid that I was coming down with the weird illness that Arlean had been talking about before this all kicked off. Maddy tried to reassure me that that couldn't be, that this was something that there had to be actual contact with these creatures to contract, but… she looked worried.

She looked even more worried when I told her about the dream that I had during the night. She made me tell her everything I could remember. It was hard, it was starting to fade almost as soon as I woke up, but re-telling it seemed to cement it a bit in my mind.

I don't remember much of the context, except that I was with Arlean. I'm not sure where we were, it was somewhere dark, I couldn't see much around us - or if I could, it's passed from my memory. She was asking me where I was, she sounded so scared. I remember being terrified for her. I tried reassuring her, telling her I was there, right there with her. But she just kept asking me where I was, telling me to tell her where I was right now. It was confusing, and a little bit scary if I'm being totally honest. I remember wondering in the dream if she wanted me to tell her where I was in the real world, and even though I swear that I didn't say anything out loud, she seemed to pick up on it, wanted to coax me into saying that. I honestly wanted to tell her, but at the same time, I didn't. It felt like someone was standing just behind me, whispering in my ear that I should tell her, that if I didn't tell her then she couldn't help me.

I must have been making some noise in my sleep or something because I think it was about that point that Maddy woke me. I woke with the strangest urge that I shouldn't tell her what I was dreaming about, that it was secret and she just wouldn't understand. Which made me want to tell her even more. Nothing about that felt right or normal.

As much as she was worried, I think she was glad that I told her. I… don't know exactly what it all meant, but I got the distinct impression that she was relieved that… I didn't listen to the urges in my dream? 

But it wasn't just the dream that had her worried. She told me that she'd gone out while I was sleeping (I asked her when she slept, she didn't answer me), trying to find a repeater that wasn't damaged so that she could get access to the Feed. Which was apparently much easier said than done. But she said that she managed to eventually find a node that she thinks nobody knew about, further toward the centre of the hive, where she could get a patchy signal and finally link up again. She didn't transmit anything, but she says she managed to download her own messages as well as get onto the newsnet and get some reports about what we've missed in the last few days.

On the one hand, she says that her colleagues have sent a message saying that they'll be arriving before the week end. So we only have to last and avoid them a few more days. But on the other hand it gives the… Them. Mutants. Xenos cultists, whatever they are more time to find both us, and also to move against my family. Which she thinks they're going to do now that their other attempts haven't worked. I asked her if we'd be able to make our way back up again, so I could try to warn them and get them away like we'd discussed. She said that we'd have to see, but it was her plan to do so. She says that they have much less… grasp… over the higher levels, so if we can break out and get away, get up a few levels, then they'll find it much harder to pin us in.

But that wasn't the only problem. I finally managed to get her to open up about what else - despite the imminent threat to our lives and the good of hive Minos if not the entire world of Asphodel - was possibly worrying her. She said that there was more news on the Feed… The Kai-Ten Conglomerate didn't just go to the Governor with their evidence against the Hadrigan Cartel. They've released it into the general streams, and it's damning. Evidence that allegedly shows Hadrigan operatives and forces dealing with pirates, documents that confirm their trading in Xeno goods and weapons, deliberately reneging on contracts with trade partners and letting them take the fall for it. Hadrigan have gone into lockdown and everyone's gunning for them. But the part that has Maddy most worried is that the Arbites can't ignore this. There are so many flagrant breaches of the Lex that they are required to get involved. And it's going to take a significant amount of their forces. To the point that they're bringing in Judges from precincts on all levels of the Hive… and leaving little to no forces with the ability to patrol and look down into cult activity. 

I said that I found the timing of this to be oddly coincidental. Maddy isn't so sure that it was a coincidence. I asked her what she meant by that, and all that she would say is that these creatures came from off-world, somewhere in the void. Which means that someone had to deliver them here. Someone with off-world interests.

Like, say, a trading house.


	53. Quartday, Rami 18th 067.M42

We started moving again after Maddy told me about the news she received from the Feed. I asked her if we should stop and wait, seeing as it would only be a few days until her team got here, but she said no. Her team wouldn't be able to come straight in at this level, they'd have to infiltrate from the higher levels anyway. She then went on to explain why we had to move.

Apparently these things, when the… infestation or whatever you refer to it as… reaches a sufficiently advanced state then they… I didn't really understand how she spoke about it all, I think she was holding back on a lot of things that she didn't want me to know, or that I'm not cleared to know or something. But apparently they start spawning very powerful psykers. And she said that the dream is a sign both that they've definitely got Arlean, and that they've got enough… influence… to start spawning these witch-creatures. And using Arlean, they were able to connect with me without knowing where I was, but the more they connected with me the easier they'd find it to dig us out.

The tone in her voice when she said this sent ice down my spine. I asked her if we'd be able to rescue Arlean from them, if there was any hope at all. She just shook her head and said sorry. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to shout at her, to tell her that I wasn't going to leave my sister behind to die… But she'd been so right about the warnings she'd given me before. She'd told me not to come down here and I didn't listen. I wasn't able to help Arlean by coming down here, and all I've done is gotten myself in more danger. That Maddy had to risk herself to pull me out of. Not that she said that last bit to me, but… Well. I get the feeling that they were pretty unaware of her presence until she'd had to step in to rescue me from their mutant goons.

So we've spent the last two days on the move, going from bolt-hole to bolt-hole again. She's letting me sleep from time-to-time but never for long, and not too deeply. Just enough to stop me from falling over and collapsing, and waking me up after only a little while so that we could keep moving again. I think she doesn't want to take the risk that I'll dream again, it seems to be easier for them to make the connection when you're unconscious and not on guard again.

It's taken the better part of the last two days, but we've finally made it to where Maddy wanted us to be. For the last few legs, she didn't tell me where we were going, and on occasion would even go so far as to blindfold me while she led me around. That was unpleasant to say the least, but as she said - if these things are using Arlean to connect to me… the less I know about where we are, about any identifying landmarks in the area, the harder it'll be for them to use me as a way of finding us. She says they'll still be able to narrow down where we are by using me as kind of a way-point as she put it, but that will be much harder for them to figure out rather than just pulling an identifying location from my mind. I don't even know if we've gone deeper to the centre of the hive or further out toward the edges.

She's left me here while she scopes the area. She says with luck, if they haven't figured out we're heading in this direction, we'll be able to get back up home, where I can try to convince Mum and Dad that they have to go, and she can get in touch with her team and hopefully guide them in down here.

I have money that I've been saving up for my vacation to the spire, as well as for gifts for Mum and Maddy while I was there… Maddy said that I need to get them off-world. I don't know that I can afford that. But I might be able to send them out to Nyx or Styx - hopefully somewhere small and minor out of the way. I'll talk to her when she gets back, ask her what she thinks about that. I don't know. 

I want to hope that being down there in the middle of nowhere will be far enough, but… the more I think about it, the less I'm sure.


	54. Sextday, Rami 20th 067.M42

They finally caught us up again this morning. Well, to be perfectly honest, I don't know if they actually caught us up so much as they just have the people… creatures… on their side to watch all of our possible escape points. I think it was the former from the simple fact that, well. I'm still here to write this entry. But the distinction is splitting hairs, really. The point is that they were there.

I've stayed indoors, not even so much as looking out the window, for the last two days. I didn't want to give them anything that they could use to find us. I think they tried the dreams again, at least a couple of the points when I was napping, I got the strongest feeling that Arlean was calling for me, that if I just turned around and looked for her I'd find her and she'd be safe again. I wanted to. I still want to believe that my sister can be saved. But they're speaking to me through dreams, using witchcraft and warp trickery. Emperor knows you have to steel yourself against such heresies, as succumbing to them is how your soul becomes forfeit.

But I think they realised that I… we were onto them. They gave up on the dreams after a while when they weren't producing the hoped-for result - be that discerning our location from my mind, or somehow finding a way to take control of me and bend me to their whims.

Because I didn't have anything else to do the last couple of days and mostly spent it napping on and off, I was awake when Maddy came back to our hideout and said it was time to move. So thankfully there was that. I've discovered that it's a particular type of nightmare to be woken from a dead sleep and told it's time to run. It takes forever for the adrenaline to wear off. There's still some adrenaline from being told that it's time to go right now, but it's less abrupt and jarring than being woken up to do so. And it's not like I had anything to pack or pick up. Everything except my slate and my ID were back in the room I'd booked.

We made our way out of our bolt-hole and headed out toward our destination. Maddy had told me while we were coming down from the floor we'd holed up on that we were heading for one of the outlying lifter platforms. She hoped that by heading in toward the core for a while, then doubling back out again wall-ward that we'd give them the slip, at least for a little while. The streets were so quiet. I know the lower hive works to a different rhythm than the upper levels (and the upper levels are different again to the spires), but something just felt wrong. It felt like the hive was holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. There were still people moving around the streets, still vehicles heading for the lifter queue. But there was none of the desperate, raw energy that I'm used to associating with this place. Even compared to a few days ago, it felt like a blanket had fallen over everything.

I tried to keep my eyes open for strange things - weird hunched people, anyone looking too closely at us, hooded figures in the alleys as we slunk from shadow to shadow. I didn't see anyone, but that doesn't mean they weren't there. I don't know if Maddy was looking or not, she seemed very focused on getting us there, but I can't imagine that she wasn't at least keeping an eye out around us.

I suppose it was too much to hope that we'd be able to make our way out without issue. These creatures are cunning - Maddy has said as much on several occasions, but I've seen evidence enough of it first-hand too. They don't seem move unless they have the upper hand in some fashion, whether it's numerically or by setting up some kind of ambush - or both. Maddy had changed from her black gear (I want to say assassin's gear, but she took great pains in the last few days to clear the fact with me that she's not an assassin. She wouldn't say much more than that, except to say that if I ever met a real assassin, if I was lucky I'd have a fraction of a heartbeat to recognise the fact.) into what looked like generally grubby workers' clothing - coveralls and boots, her hair scraped back tight and a hat pulled low over her eyes.

We didn't move straight to the lifter to wait for it, instead we found a vantage point nearby and watched the small crowd milling about down there, looking again for any sight of our pursuers. Once we could see the warning lights flashing, warning of the impending arrival of the platform, and we hadn't seen anyone who looked likely to be on our tail it seemed safe enough for us to go down and to mill around in the general crowd. My heart was pounding, fit to have a conniption at this point. Most people were bound up in general knots of humanity, drinking recaf or harder libations, quiet conversation occurring. None of them paid any attention to Maddy or myself. There were no black eyes staring, no hoods and robes, no curious pallid baldness. I dared to hope that we'd actually managed to give them the slip and get away.

It was as the platform settled and we all started shuffling on, trying to avoid the heavier vehicles moving around us that I felt it. A tug to turn around, to look back the way we came. I looked to Maddy, but she didn't seem to give any indication that she felt something. I didn't want to give away our presence in the crowd, so I didn't say anything to try to grab her attention. I think this was a mistake. Every step closer to the lifter platform made the itching on the back of my neck grow more intense, the draw to look that much stronger. So I looked.

I saw Arlean. At least I think it was Arlean. I don't know any more if my own memory of events can even be trusted. I think there were others there with her, but all I could see was her - brilliant and shining amongst the dirty ferrocrete and burned-out lumens. I wanted to go back, I needed to go back. I think I'd turned to do so when Maddy grabbed my arm and pulled me with her, away and out of sight behind a parked cargo mover. I was livid, and it took everything in me no to fight her off and make a scene of things. I was so mad at her for dragging me away when Arlean was right here, so close that I could have gone and just grabbed her and taken her back with us. She nearly had to slap me to break me out of it. To get me to see how stupid I was being. They'd inserted dreams of Arlean into my mind. If that was even her standing back behind us, not just some illusion or trick that they'd pushed on me again, then there was every likelihood that she was enraptured under whatever foul sorcery they had been using to try to get to me.

I think I'd wanted to hold some hope of a daring rescue. Of finding her again and bringing her back, despite Maddy's dire predictions a few days ago. But I think I also realised, seeing her there. She's theirs now. If she even still exists as a person, not just some hollowed-out cult creature.

After I'd finally calmed down, we tried to find a point to watch the streets behind and the loading corral, but they were long gone by then. We took the lack of our being rushed and assaulted as an indication that they hadn't made it onto the platform, and as we finally started to ascend, I think I took my first real breath of the morning.

We're still on our way up now. Thankfully the lifter has a working Feed repeater on it - it seems they weren't able to take them out, because the lifters use them to connect with the cogitators on each level, and they are constantly in motion. Maddy's asked me not to contact anyone until we're back up home and safe again, but she's letting me read the newsfeeds and pick up my messages. The latter I'm choosing to ignore for the moment, nothing except some missives from work are marked urgent, but the former seems dire. The Hadrigans have completely shut up shop, locking down access to all of their offices and warehouses across Asphodel - even to the Arbites. There's a motion before the governor to mobilise the PDF against them and to start taking military action, and the Kai-Tens are whipping up a frenzy, shouting that these actions are proof that the Hadrigans are corrupt, heretical and out to destroy Imperial interests from the inside out, that if they had nothing to hide then they would welcome the scrutiny of the upholders of the Lex, would they not?

Nobody else seems to be suspicious about just how loudly the Kai-Tens are rattling the war-drums here. It's terrifying.


	55. Septday, Rami 21st 067.M42

It took us most of the day and a significant portion of the night to make our way back up to hid-hive yesterday. They knew which lifter we'd taken, so Maddy insisted that we get off at about the third-way point, just some random industrial level between the lower hive and mid-hive, where we could slip off in the shadow of some cargo vehicles that were alighting and make our way across-hive to another lifter. We did this twice before she judged that we'd both moved far enough away from our original path, and also come close enough to her intended destination that she was happy for us to ride the rest of the way up. The interruptions in the journey, traversing the levels through the manufactorum districts, finding our way through where there were no pedestrian pathways, it all took so much more time. Where I thought we'd be home and at least somewhat further away from peril by about lunchtime, we didn't get in until somewhere around the middle of the night.

We didn't go back to my place either. Maddy took me to the residence that she'd hired out for herself, a spartan room in the thirty-ninth precinct. I already knew that the story of her family was fabricated - though she told me that some parts of it were actually drawn from her life, she never elaborated which ones - but it explained even more visibly why she always insisted on coming to my place and she never took me back to hers.

I'd honestly thought that by "home" she'd been referring to my place, just the assumption of reference, I guess. But it makes more sense that we'd stay here. Though Arlean's never actually visited my home, we don't know if the cultists were watching me in any fashion before I made that last trip down there, and she had my hab address anyway. So it wouldn't be hard to find me.

Because we got in so late, I didn't make a call to Mum and Dad. I didn't want to panic them. Maddy tells me that they can't ever know the truth, that we have to find some way to convince them to get off-world without actually exposing them to what exactly is going on and what's happened to Arlean. She said that if they ever found out even a fraction of the truth, that their lives would be forfeit - at best they'd simply be executed outright for knowing things that Imperial citizens were not supposed to know, at worst they might be taken for servitor conversion. And where the cultists most likely would not be able to take either Lizzy or Cordell due to their being embedded in their respective organisations, the Inquisition could not take the chance that they might have later contact with Mum and Dad and it would mean their destruction as well.

When I asked her what that meant for me, after the things that she'd told me, she just looked at me sadly and said that it wasn't her decision to make.

I wanted to yell at her for that. I'm ashamed to admit that I… I want to say that I might have raised my voice at her but that I remained calm overall, but I know I didn't. I think I did yell at her, before I remembered myself and the fact that I didn't know who could hear what through the walls. The last thing we would want would be for some well-meaning neighbour to call the Magisters because they could hear a domestic dispute. Not that there's any guarantees the Magisters would do anything, because Throne knows they have so many more important things…

I asked her again what it meant for me. She wouldn't look me in the eye for the longest time. I didn't think she was going to answer, until she looked at me again. I don't know what I expected, but it certainly wasn't for her to be crying. I don't know if I believed her at first, she's lied about so many other things… it was the first time I'd had to sit down and process things, the first moment of safety where we weren't constantly watching over our shoulder for death to come calling… and it was the first point, I think, where I realised that she'd been using me. But she looked up at me, there were tears in her eyes and though I tried not to fall for it, tried to tell myself it was another ploy to get me on side and behaving… She sounded utterly wretched for it. 

She told me then that from my first direct encounter with the… things… my life was on a timer. Even though I'd never met one of the actual creatures itself, I'd had enough contact with the cultists, and they'd been in my brain, interfering with my dreams and thoughts. That was evidence enough alone that I was potentially corrupted. That without her intervention I'd surely be put to death. I'd seen too much for my own good, and I'm not important enough or valuable enough to mind-wipe of what I've seen and put back into society. I’m just a small cog in a vast machine, and if I break it's easy enough to just trash me out and replace me. She says that my only hope now lies with her, to do exactly as she says and that if I can, she might be able to plead my case to her superiors. She told me she was sorry and kissed me then before she told me again that I'd have to just sit and wait, that she had to go and try to make contact with her team, and that I'd just need to sit and be patient while she did.

I wanted to ask her what she meant by that comment, about pleading my case to her superiors, but I'm not entirely sure I want to know. All I know of the Inquisition is faint rumour. A story of monstrous men and women who will stop at nothing to preserve the Imperium from unnamed threats that are too horrifying to consider.

I don't know if I want to be a part of this, but it's very bloody clear that the choice isn't and possibly never was mine to make.


	56. Primoday, Rami 22nd 067.M42

Maddy was still gone when I woke up. I hadn't had any dreams, which was good. I'm hoping that it means that for now, I'm out of their reach. She was pretty sure yesterday before she left that because they hadn't actually managed to get direct contact with me that I wasn't actually connected to them and they were mostly using Arlean to link up with me. I was just happy to have an uninterrupted night's sleep. Though being actually well-rested and left without anything to do left me feeling restless this morning.

She'd told me not to contact anyone yesterday, but then she also didn't tell me that she'd be gone for the whole of the night and still not back the next morning. If I'm supposed to be trying to get my family to safety, it's going to take some time to convince them. Especially if I'm not allowed to actually tell them what they're running from, and I have to make it sound like a fun vacation or something of the like.

I spent a couple of hours just sitting around, trying to read the news on my slate. The Feed is just full of reports about the Hadrigans. Word is that they have started moving house troops to secure the rest of their holdings and that they're recalling their ships to jump back into their system. Nobody actually knows how much they have in the way of martial resources, their trade fleet is spread out over Throne knows how many subsectors, possibly even extending as far as some of the surrounding sectors. And each ship they have is capable of holding thousands of troops. Governor Fei is said to be considering mobilising the PDF, there's speculation that that she's petitioned the Imperial Navy for a strike force to take on their ships before they can land troops on the world.

The Hadrigans have also finally made a formal response to the charges. They've made a counter-accusation that the Kai-Tens have fallen to Xeno influence and that they are spreading that corruption to the planetary government and the Arbites stationed on-world. They're claiming that they've reported this to the necessary authorities, and that they are not planning on taking any hostile action at this stage, but that they will not hesitate to defend their fleet and holdings if action is taken against them.

So far there's been no reports of any shortages caused by this conflict - we're lucky that Asphodel has a sizeable agri-hive in Tartarus, and while the Hadrigans have some interest in it, their primary sphere of influence is off-world trading. So food is still available and there's enough stored to supply all of the hives - for now. What's going to get dangerous is the lock that they have over off-world shipping. A significant proportion of our promethium trade is handled through their deals and brokerage, not to mention various other essential and luxury goods. The Kai-Tens hold a large portion of these markets too, but it's a pretty significant second-place compared to the Hadrigans' dynastic reach. And with more Hadrigan fleet ships making their way in, unless the governor has successfully petitioned the Navy, we could very well end up with a blockade fleet in place soon. If there's not already enough ships there to constitute one. There might be some chance of the smaller traders banding together under the Kai-Ten banner to take out the Hadrigans, but there are plenty out there who owe any measure of success that they've ever had to trade deals and offers with the Hadrigans. Or who just outright dislike the Kai-Tens due to earlier skirmishes or trade losses that they've suffered against them.

I eventually had to turn the slate off, I couldn't bear to read any more. Speculation and fear-mongering seem to be taking over the Feed. Popular opinion is turning against the Hadrigans, which is exactly what the Kai-Tens wanted. I don't know if this is indeed due to some link with the cult that is growing in the underhive that I don't quite understand - I'm not sure how it would suit their purposes to have an all-out war brewing on Asphodel, surely if that happens and the Navy and the Astra Militarum get involved then it will only harm… whatever it is they're building here, won't it? If there's troops everywhere, they won't be able to help but stumble over these Xenos, and then the full wrath of the Imperium is going to come down on them.

I'd already considered disobeying Maddy's order not to contact anyone, but by the time I was finished with the Feed, I was sure. The cult is bad enough, though I still live in hope that there's a way I can help my family escape their notice and get away to somewhere safe. But if war is coming to Asphodel I want them gone, somewhere safe.

I can't take the chance that their vox has somehow been compromised. Part of me wants to be sure that it hasn't, but some of Maddy's paranoia has worn off on me. So I'm not going to call them from my slate, from our hideout. I'll be going out to find a public terminal, somewhere at least a precinct or two away from here, and calling them from there. I don't know exactly what I'm going to say, but I'll see what comes to mind when I call them. Maybe I can use the troubles that are brewing as an excuse to encourage them to get away. Even if they don't leave the system. Mum's always talked about wanting to visit Elysia. Hopefully even if it's only as far as the next world over, just getting them off the planet will be enough to keep them safe. Or safer than they would be here anyway.


	57. Primoday, Rami 22nd 067.M42 - Afternoon

They got to Mum and Dad. I don't know what to do.

I left the hideout and went out to forty-first. I figured going wallward was going to be better than coreward when it came to hiding where we were, just in case the worst had happened. I tried to stay off of the main streets and just make my way through back streets and along the side ways. I kept my eyes open, but I didn't see anyone strange looking at me again. Once more there were no robed figures with shadowy black eyes, or strangely bald and lumpish workers. Maddy had been pretty sure that they didn't have enough bodies to flood the entire hive - even knowing the level we were headed to, they couldn't cover every avenue without more or less making a concerted push, and that would surely get someone's attention. You'd hope. I'm not so sure now.

Oh frak. Throne. I got to forty-first, it's one of the warehousing districts. I thought if they were going to trace me, at least there there's plenty of potential hiding spots for them to waste their time trying to root out. The problem with forty-first is that public terminals are few, far between and in mostly very open areas where it would be easy to watch from a distance. But I had to take my chances.

I called Mum. It started okay. I didn't even realise there was anything wrong to start with honestly. She told me she was worried that she hadn't heard from me for a few days, that I was gone longer than she thought I was going to be. I apologised, used the excuse of the broken repeaters down in the lower hive to tell her at least part of the truth as to why I wasn't available. She tried to ask me a few times where I was, she could hear the traffic on the street nearby, and I wasn't calling from my personal frequency at home. We talked about the trade war that was just about on our doorstep, about how that's going to affect my work. And I tried to use that as leverage, to raise the idea that she and Dad and Mei should maybe just take a holiday, that I'd put my savings towards helping them get a ticket to Elysia to do some sightseeing.

She paused at that. I tried not to press her, I didn't want to come off as paranoid and overly crazy. That could come later. But I think it was too late. I prodded her for an answer and after hedging for a while, that's when she told me.

"Arlean" had called them. Told them that I'd gone to her rambling about some Xeno-influenced conspiracy theory, that I was convinced people were being replaced by Xeno clones and that she should get off the planet and that after I'd told her this, I'd disappeared into the lower hive, that I'd been missing for several days, and she was worried for me. Mum said they were all worried for me, that I should come home and we could talk about the problems I was having.

I could hear Dad's voice in the background. I couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, it sounded like he was in the other room, or at least not sitting very close to Mum, but it didn't sound like he was talking to Mei. I asked Mum who Dad was talking to. She's a terrible liar. She tried at first to tell me that he wasn't talking, then when I said I heard him talking she said that he was just talking to Mei and Noodles. I asked her if someone else was there, if Arlean was there. She said that Arlean wasn't, but she didn't answer my other question. She just tried to turn it back around again and ask me again where I was. When I wouldn't tell her, she told me to come home, that they just wanted me to come back and be safe with them.

I hung up on her, I didn't know what else to do. I don't know if Dad was on his personal vox to someone, or if there was someone else there with them. I didn't hear another voice, but that doesn't mean much. The cultists that I've run into so far don't seem to be very talkative types either. But I wasn't going to stick around to wait for them to find some way to give the public terminal frequency to someone to look up and figure out where I was calling from. I wanted to get away from there as quickly as possible. 

I tried to take a different route back to our hiding place. It took a bit longer, and I got a little bit lost and had to double back a few times, but eventually I made it. Maddy's still not back yet. I hope that she gets here soon. I hope that her colleagues will be willing to help me. I'm just scared that if they have actually been there, in my Mum and Dad's house with them… That what Maddy warned me of will come to pass.


	58. Secunday, Rami 23rd 067.M42

Maddy finally came back late in the night again. I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to sleep. They're up on this level again, I don't know if sleeping would let them send me dreams again. But they've clearly gotten to Mum and Dad, I didn't want to give them the opportunity to try to get at me again. Mum spent a couple of hours trying to call me, but I wasn't going to answer. Not without talking to Maddy.

She came in alone at first. I didn't know if this was good or bad, but the anxiety that I'd been stewing on for the last several hours tightened into a huge knot in my belly and I nearly vomited before she got a chance to even say anything. I almost didn't want to hear what she had to say, in case it was the worst case scenario. Thankfully, she had some… news. I hesitate to call it good. But then there's little good about this whole situation, no matter how hard I try to find something. 

However, my life isn't forfeit - for now. There's a use for me, if nothing else as a local guide and an adept, with access to the data stacks if needed. If I conduct myself well, then there may be an ongoing use for me in her Master's operation. But she said there's every chance that during this, my usefulness may prove itself limited, and in that case… But if there is a place for me in her Master's service, then that will be the end of Rewalt Mason the Scribe-Adept of Asphodel's Office of Tithing and Export Management. I'll still be Rewalt, but I'll be nobody to the galaxy at large, a man who doesn't exist any more.

As we were talking, the others came in. I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting. The stories you hear about the Inquisition involve leather-clad Lords, striding through hives and casting death wherever their gaze lands. Assassins and orbital bombardments. But I'm pretty sure that I wasn't expecting a group of three men and another women who looked just as ordinary and unremarkable as me. I wasn't told who exactly they were, or what their purposes are. I was given names - Nate. Kel. Remy. Jakob. From the sheer size of him and the muscle built onto his frame, I can posit that Jakob is or was some manner of soldier. And I think Nate is the leader of this… group. Cell. Whatever you want to call it. The others seemed to defer to him at least.

I wanted to tell Maddy about my family, about what had happened and what Mum had said to me, but once the group was gathered in our hideout, the talk went straight on to the extent of the infestation. From what I could gather from the discussion occurring, Maddy had realised that the cult had taken root, but didn't realise that it had extended so far or become so advanced. So when she called in for back up, she sent the call for a small group of specialists who would handle it surgically - stepping in to find the core and cut it out, then mopping up the rest while the cult was in disarray from the removal of its heart. But Kel confirmed with the explosion of unrest between the Kai-Tens and the Hadrigans, it seems the cult are feeling confident enough to move into their later-stage plans. It's apparently a known progression for these… things. They move slowly - it's possible that this infestation has been in place for years, possibly decades - infiltrating their way through the lower levels of the hive, building up a power base of the disaffected and the lost, hypnotising them and corrupting them, spreading their infection as far as they can. They also work to infiltrate the structures of power in their adopted home, infiltrating their people, or those who are controlled by them into significant positions, so that when they're ready they can start shutting things down from all levels and then take over completely.

That led to some arguing about the group's position here, about whether things are too far gone to excise the cult and save the Hive, or whether Asphodel is irredeemably corrupted. It was bizarre, nightmarish - listening to these strangers with accents that I've never even heard before discussing the merits of my world, my home, and what is worth struggling to save, whether there is anything that might be salvaged or whether it's better just to let everything burn to deny its worth to the enemy that has festered within.

There was no consensus reached in that discussion. Remy was of the opinion that the world is done for, that the corruption has spread too far and that the threat of the enemy is too great, that any lighter sentence would possibly leave seeds of corruption to take root once more, if not spread on the winds from here. Maddy and I both argued that even if Minos can't be spared, we've not been able to find any indication that the cult has yet spread to the other hives - if Minos must be lost, surely Asphodel itself might still be saved? Kel and Jakob got stuck arguing about whether saving Imperial lives and assets was more important than denying the enemy the opportunity to spread. Nate reminded everyone that the specific threat that is being dealt with here, these Genestealers, are infiltrators. They're designed to spread throughout a population and to do it well. But he also took a care to point out that just destroying an entire world is not something that should be done without being sure that it's absolutely the only option left.

He ordered Maddy to take him, Jakob and Remy out into the hive, so that he could see the extent of the corruption with his own eyes, and so that perhaps they could try to pin down the root of it, the core from which it grew. He ordered Kel and I to go to the central data stacks - not just those belonging to the Office of Tithing and Export Management, but the big Administratum ones near the core - and for us to search whatever records we could find across all of the hives on Asphodel to try and figure out how far this infiltration has spread. If it seems that it's relatively contained to Minos, then we might have some hope. But if it's moved any further beyond that, then our chances of rooting out all of the corruption are effectively nil, and my home, like my own life, may end up being forfeit.


	59. Quinday, Rami 26th 067.M42

To be completely honest, I didn't think that the plan would work. I mean, you don't just walk into the central data stacks and demand access to the Administratum's records. Not to mention, I didn't even know if my ID was still valid; I've been absent from work for over two weeks. My emergency family leave is only good for a few days at a time, and I have to keep in touch with my Scribe-Master. 

Though I don't know why I even thought this would be a problem in the end. They are the Inquisition. I should have realised that something so pedestrian as counterfeiting some work orders and a new set of IDs based off of my personal ID would be just another day's work for people like them.

Maddy, Nate, Remy and Jakob left late Secunday. All they needed to do was stop off at one of Maddy's other bolt-holes to get into disguise, then they could make their way down to the lower hive to do their recon. Unfortunately, though probably much less dangerous, it turns out that Kel and I would have much more work to do to get ready. I mean, It's not surprising to think about in hindsight, but it makes sense that crafting counterfeit records and IDs would take more than a couple of minutes to throw together.

For my part, I didn't really have much to do. I got to sit and wait, fretting as I tried not to think too much about Maddy, my Mum and Dad, Mei and my kitten. I handed over my ID for reference and my dataslate to Kel and let her do her work. Which, to be honest, was really rather amazing to watch. I tried my best to keep out of her way, but with nothing else to do while she had my slate, I ended up just sitting there to watch what she was doing and we got to talking a little bit too while she did. 

She told me a little bit about herself, referring to herself as a data-savant. Apparently she comes from a hive world not too unlike Asphodel, though she didn't say what world it was or what sub-sector it's located in. She was a tech-adept who was tithed to and worked for one of the Magi who was responsible for tending to the cogitators in her home hive and she discovered that she had a… she called it a sympathy with the the code that the cogitators used. I didn't really catch all of it, she reminds me so much of Lizzy in how she gets talking about a topic that she's invested in, all jargon, babble and high-speed speech. But she's apparently always been very good with data, information just jumps out at her, regardless of what she's looking for. She says she has a pictographic memory - she can remember anything just from seeing it for a short amount of time. We didn't get into why or how she ended up in the service of the Inquisition but, well, I can't find it hard to imagine why.

It took a couple of days for Kel to do the things she needed to do to get two new work profiles and IDs created for new adepts, and then to draft up the papers we would need to actually gain entrance to the data stacks in the first place. It was really rather clever, actually. She found a way to break into the Central Administratum's personnel data feed, and she pretty much looked for a couple of recently-hired adepts who matched our descriptions as closely as possible, amended the data to match us a bit better and to overwrite their ID-picts with our own, and had the ID cards rerouted to the central data office. Then all that was left was for her to draft up the decrees of appointment for us and for us to change into some clean adept robes and we were ready.

Despite our preparations, as we made our way to the central data office I couldn’t shake the suspicion that we'd overlooked or missed something, that we were going to run into some complication or danger that would end up leaving us caught offside and having to put us on the run. I found myself looking over my shoulder at every junction, eyeing every alley as we passed and trying to steer away from any shadowed place or slightly dark area. Kel didn't seem all that concerned but then as with Lizzy, I wonder sometimes if she sees the world in the same terms as the rest of us. Things that aren't immediately related to her current subject of focus are irrelevant. I'd argue that the presence of xeno cultists in the hive who are currently chasing me for some unexplained, nefarious purpose is pretty relevant but then… it's probably not to her. Not until they're openly and directly a threat to her anyway.

But despite my paranoia, we made it to central without being hassled, molested, followed or even looked at strangely. And despite the Feed reports blaring out the newest headlines from the Kai-Ten/Hadrigan conflict, everyone we passed just seemed to be getting on with their lives. As if a monstrous cancer wasn't growing at the core of our home. I wanted to grab people, to shout in their faces and warn them. Of course I didn't, it wouldn't change anything if I did. I'd just be another adept, snapped under the weight of his duties and running amuck. Only the Magisters might care, until they shock-mauled me into unconsciousness anyway. And until that point all it would achieve would be to paint a bigger target on my back.

I had another moment of paranoia as we joined the shuffling queue to make our way into the central personnel office, where the presence of armed Magisters watching over the queue was another unpleasant reminder of the tensions that were taking place in the void above our heads and in unseen halls of power. After everything we've learned, I'm sure now that these beings have managed to manipulate the Kai-Tens in some way, and if the Hadrigans' allegations are correct, they may even be infecting the Governor's cabinet and the Arbites. It's hard not to see their clawed grasp everywhere I look, and I was worried as we made our way in that they were again somehow a step ahead of us, that as we went to take our IDs and documents that Kel and I would be pulled aside and never seen from again.

But I was wrong on that front too. We made our ways in, we presented our details to the frankly rather bored-looking Scribe-Adept who was managing the records, we were pict-captured again for their records, then handed our IDs and assignments. Data cleansing in the central stacks, just as planned.

And that's where we are right now. Kel told me to start in on our assigned task, to take a cogitator and start actually doing the data cleansing work so our presence down here would be overlooked as routine. She's been setting up equipment to pull the information we want from their cogitators and upload it to her personal data core. We talked on the way down about whether we should try to just read the information while we're here and only pull what is necessary and supports what we need, but in the end that would take a damn sight longer. And I don't think we have that much time. If we do a bulk data dump, then we can sift through it all for the relevant hints, and if necessary dive deeper to get what we really need at our leisure. And we won't be stuck here while we do it, so if we need to pick up and bug out, well at least we have what we need with us.

Kel doesn't know how long the dump is going to take, and the others are operating radio silent until they get back up to the hab, so I guess we'll just have to wait until we get back there and can catch up again before we know anything else. I'm just hoping we'll be able to get our data sorted before then, so I'll know whether or not my home even has a chance of surviving.


	60. Septday, Rami 28th 067.M42

I'm sitting in an ordinary hab-room in the thirty-ninth precinct, trying to write my journal on the dataslate that I'd been so happy to buy for myself just four months ago, but which now makes me want to throw it out the window. I have the death sentence of my home caught in this web of ones and zeroes and it feels like a ticking bomb just waiting to go off in my hands. 

We finished the data dump yesterday just after the morning shift change was rung. I'd spent the entire time trying to stave off panic, sure that someone had the data we were searching for flagged, that someone would realise a data leech in the central stacks was a dangerous thing. Surely they'd be looking for such a thing, you'd think anyway. Or worse, that they'd realise that our documents were falsified, that I was the only one of the two of us who was actually doing the data cleansing, that we'd stayed well beyond our "assigned" shift times, that we'd been there for a day and then some. But nobody seemed to care. It almost makes me despair - no wonder Asphodel is on the brink of collapse, if nobody ever seems to pay the slightest attention or care to anything out of the ordinary. I feel like I've gone mad in the last few months, trying to bring things to the attention of others without being written off as a madman and I wonder too how many things I personally ignored in the past, because they just weren't my problem?

But while we were ignored for the most part, we couldn't risk being caught up on our way out. If we'd tried to leave mid-shift, that would have aroused suspicion. Kel chose the moment we were discussing this quietly in a facilities break to notify me that several of her implants are not Mechanicus-standard either - and that being caught with them would lead to several unpleasant consequences that she didn't elaborate on and I didn't ask for. We decided to wait until midday, to make our way out with the receding tide of adepts making their way from the stacks to find something for lunch. It was easy enough to shuffle our way in to a group and from there to make our way back out onto the streets. 

Thankfully my paranoia of the day before had receded somewhat. I'm sure the cult hasn't given up looking for me, the fact that my vox is filled with alerts saying I've missed calls from Mum speaks to that if nothing else. But it seems at least that chasing down data in the central stacks isn't something that is high on their list of ideas of things that I would do. I'll admit to getting more nervous and watching more intently for followers or observers as we made our way closer to thirty-ninth, but we were able to make our way back unimpeded and with no obvious signs that we'd gotten anyone on our tail. Thank the Throne for small mercies.

Maddy and Nate and the others weren't here when we got back, and they still haven't returned as of the time of writing this. Fear once again grips my heart when I think of them. We wouldn't know if something had happened, until either enough time had passed that there could be no other conclusion, or until the cultists or their Xeno masters were knocking down our door. However their absence has given us enough time to review the data that we stole and to start filtering out the evidence we needed.

There's a lot of it.

I'd hoped, prayed that we'd find nothing. Or perhaps some minor blips that might warrant further investigation, but that might buy us some time. I couldn't be so lucky.

Tartarus has floods of medicae reports referring to the symptoms of some kind of "walking plague", showing all the signs of the illness that Arlean was reporting had swamped her infirmary and was running rampant through our lower hive and underhive. Though the spread in Tartarus seems to be much wider, the reports we found included communication between the spire chirurgeons and medicae on many other levels of the hive, suggesting that it had made or is making its way up to the higher tiers of the hive.

Reports from the Magisters in Nyx have been asking for Arbites help looking into a supposedly Imperial Cult that has arisen in the mid-hive. They call themselves the Blessed Children of the Emperor and, well, let's just review the description of one of their cult leaders, shall we?

"He is a tall man, though despite the confidence in his dark and brooding gaze, he hunches in such a way to make himself appear much shorter and bulkier. Wearing voluminous robes and hoods, his bald countenance is sickly pale, seeming to have somewhat of a bloodless, bluish cast. Were he not standing and walking about, one could be forgiven for thinking him a man several days dead, with his vitae drained to his lower extremities."

And while Achlys seems to be as-yet unaffected, a secret missive from a midwife in Styx has offered the most damning indictment. A letter sent from a woman to her sister here in Minos, talking of the horrifying abomination that her noble client's daughter gave birth to late one night. Apparently the girl had been ill for a while and had been in confinement for a period, but that she was finally called up to see to the birth of the child that she'd apparently been carrying in secret. She reports a horror of teeth and claws, a bulbous-headed, purple-shelled creature with six limbs that came forth in some obscene mockery of holy and pure birth. Apparently the girl clutched the creature to her breast like an actual child, crooning and clucking to it. The midwife says she fled the manse, leaving the girl to her mutant child for the family to deal with, but that she fears they're coming for her, to silence her about what she saw.

Kel says the midwife's report is proof for sure that the xeno infection has spread to other hives, that the creature that the girl gave birth to was an example of what she referred to as a "First-generation Hybrid" and the existence of one meant it was likely there were many more, hidden amongst the poor and disenfranchised of the hive. The fact that the family brought in an external midwife means that the cult has not taken over all of them, but she said that the parent of a first-generation hybrid will defend it to the death, and that the rest of the cult will seek them out and find them to bring them back into the fold as soon as possible.

I want to ask her what this means for Asphodel. If it's not one hive but all of them, how the infestation can possibly be purged. I think that she will tell me, she's got no reason to want to try to spare my feelings like Maddy seemed to want to. 

But I'm a coward. I don't think I could bear to carry on if I find out the true price that my home is going to pay for this. Emperor grant me strength, I wasn't made for this.


	61. Tertioday, Rami 31st 067.M42

After two more terrifying days of wondering whether they'd ever come back, Maddy and the others finally got in last night. The news they bring is dire. They say that the lower levels of the hive are more or less given over fully to the cult, and in their explorations they saw some of the beasts moving not quite openly amongst the streets, but Maddy and Remy both confirm having seen them on the move whilst Nate and Jakob were elsewhere.

Between worrying for the last few days, I've been watching the Feed pretty closely. The news itself has started to quiet down. Reports of what the Hadrigans and Kai-Tens are doing have just suddenly cut off, everything is going back to normal, ordinary news. Reports of minor crimes, news about meetings between minor traders and other no-name concerns, updates on the mining going on down at Achlys. It's almost insultingly glaring how any news about the Hadrigans and the Kai-Tens is just… missing. There's nothing there about it at all. Even the non-official news sources are quiet on the matter. It's like there's just been a collective decision, now that everyone's whipped up into a worry, to not bring it up at all any more. I'm sure that it's not a coincidence in the slightest.

There was a part of me that didn't want to give Nate and the others our report. I didn't want to tell them the things we'd found, I wanted to hope that I could just ignore it and turn my back on it and everything would turn out okay. I know that's not going to happen though. Especially once they reported to us - to me - exactly how far things have gone in the lower levels. Asphodel has fallen to these beasts, it just doesn't know it yet. So I told them. Everything. About the cult in Nyx. The mutant monster birth in Styx. The plague and missing people in Tartarus. Everything.

They all looked to Nate then. Much as I'd suspected, although he'd never announced himself as the leader, again they all turned to him and waited for his judgement on what to do. I don't think he himself is an Inquisitor. Not that I'd know what an Inquisitor is actually like, everything I know about them is rumour and legend. But I'd expect an actual Inquisitor to be something more… Impressive? Imposing? Than this man who could honestly be my brother, he's so unremarkable and… ordinary looking. But he is clearly some manner of authority within the group. He's directed everyone around so far, he was the one who told Kel and I to go out to Central, he directed the group going down to the lower levels. It's really clear that he's calling the shots with some degree of authority.

I don't know much of him yet, we talked a bit while we were planning out what to do, but we haven't really talked to each other directly much. I don't know if he's a cruel man or a fair man. Kel wouldn’t talk about the others while we were together, and Maddy and I haven't had a moment to really speak alone since they arrived. Not that I'm sure she would tell me much about them anyway behind their backs. Or that I'd trust what she had to say anyway. There's so many things that she's hidden from me during these months and I don't even know now what's going on with our relationship. Any talks about that got lost in the rush to get away from the cult and get into hiding.

To be fair to the man, he didn't seem happy or even satisfied with what we were discussing. I caught a glimpse of him while the others were discussing the report that Kel and I had gathered, he seemed to be wearing an expression of what looked like honest distress as the details were debated, a certain weight on his shoulders. And I think I can guess why.

After the discussion had died down somewhat, and the others all turned to him to see what his verdict would be, that's when he finally spoke. The Navy has been called, he confirmed. An astropathic transmission from Governor Fei to the Sector Fleet was intercepted while the group was on their way to meet us. He said it's likely that the comms blackout on the Feed is because the Navy has finally arrived, and they're starting to communicate with the Governor and make plans to strike at the Hadrigan fleet - which is an outcome that I think nobody in this room wants, as we're all pretty sure that the source of the infestation and all of the troubles seems to trace back to the Kai-Tens. And leaving them completely unopposed then opens the door for them to take their foul cargo and spread it further through the system, if not the sector or even beyond.

He said that it's imperative that we take our evidence to the Navy Fleet commander. It's unlikely that the conspirators will try to actively infiltrate the Fleet, at least in the early days. Apparently the Navy are well aware of the threat of the Genestealers, and if they detect their foulness at work then it's likely that they'll turn their guns on those who called them in. So the cult will have to play it carefully to get the Hadrigans subdued and thus remove the main threat to them - that they're aware of. But if we can get to the Fleet commander, then Nate says he has the authorisation to make him listen, to take the steps that will be necessary to end this before it even begins.

I asked what he meant by that.

I've never been hit by such a force of sympathy, so many apologetic gazes turned my way. My heart sank into my stomach and a cold sweat sprung on my brow. I'd feared the worst, how horrifying it would be to hear that I'd helped uncover the death warrant that would be signed on my world, but I never knew how gut-wrenching it would be to hear the words spoken out loud. I fear I’m going to hear his voice in the back of my mind until the day I die.

"Orbital bombardment of all major population centres and complete destruction of the hive cities. Asphodel will then be put under quarantine for as long as it takes to confirm that the infestation is completely eradicated."


	62. Quartday, Gobert 1st 067.M42

We have a few days to wait while Remy tries to secure us a way to get passage up to the Navy Fleet, so we can try to get to the Commander to provide him our intel and try to turn the gaze of the Imperium where it needs to be.

Everyone else is resting as much as they can. Kel doesn't seem to sleep, but she's been working on putting our information in order, to make it more digestible for when we present it to the Navy. Nate, Jakob and Maddy are sleeping. Or at least they seem to be. They're definitely resting as much as they can.

I can't sleep. And I don't even want think about eating. Nothing will stay down, I'm having trouble enough just keeping water in my stomach. My guts are churning and clenching, I want to run out the door and start warning everybody that their lives are on a countdown, that the rest of their existence is going to be measured in weeks, if not days. I want to start a panic and a mass exodus from this world. I want to find Lizzy and get her out of whatever Mechanicus shrine she's sequestered in, to stash her away on the next ship out of the system. I want to know that Cordell is off-world and safe from all of this. I want to go home to my Mum and my Dad and my Niece and my kitten, and pretend it will be okay with them, that nothing is wrong until the first missiles fall. Maybe I should just go. Leave now, go home to my own bed and pretend none of it is happening when I wake up in the morning.

I don't want to be a part of this any more.


	63. Quinday, Gobert 2nd 067.M42

I made it as far as the magrail station before Maddy caught up and found me. I didn't even know that I was going to leave like that. I just said that I had to get some air and left the hab. We're still waiting on Remy to get back and let us know where and how we'll be making our way up into orbit to meet with the Navy command - if we even can.

I just couldn't stand it any more. Couldn't stand being stuck in that room. Listening to these strangers, offworlders, talk about raining death down on my home - on my friends and family - like it was a matter of no great importance.

Just another day in the service of His Holy Inquisition.

I said I needed some air, and I left. Put my head down and walked. I didn't even know where I was going, I just needed to get out and get away. I must have looked a sight, I didn't even realise I was crying as I walked, just walking along with tears streaming down my face. I don't know if anyone noticed. I don't know if they cared. Everyone's wrapped up in their own lives.

Maybe if they'd cared about each other more, the cult wouldn't have taken root so easily in the lower levels of our home and the cities around us.

Maybe the death of Asphodel is on its people, if they'd wanted to look after each other more then perhaps this might not have happened.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

It wasn't until Maddy caught me up and dragged me into a side-alley that I realised I was so close to the station. Truthfully, I didn't realise it was her at first. I thought they'd found me. Despite my numbness and the fact that I wanted to give up, I found myself fighting the thing that had gripped me and dragged me away. Throne, she's strong. Or I'm weak. Perhaps both.

She pinned me to the wall, holding me there until I realised who she was and stopped fighting. I can't say I calmed down. That would have necessitated not breaking down into an embarrassing fit of hysterics. But at least I stopped trying to throw punches at her.

Apparently she came to find me when I'd been gone for more than an hour, and they realised that none of them knew where I'd gone. I didn't even realise that I'd been gone so long, I wasn't paying attention to the time. I know it doesn’t take an hour to walk to the magrail station, I don’t know what I was doing for most of that time. Just walking I guess, wandering aimlessly. I had no plan in mind when I'd left. I certainly didn't set out with the intention of catching the train somewhere, but I guess that's where my subconscious wanted to take me.

Maddy looked concerned by this thought. I could see it in her face. They're not worried about me. They're worried that I might still be under the influence of the Xeno beasts, that I'm somehow being compelled to go back to my family and report everything to them.

I think I broke then. It boggled my mind. Still boggles my mind. Of course I want to go back to my frakking family, and it amazes me that none of these people can see this. I'm not a hero of the Imperium. I'm not a warrior or an assassin or a spy or any of these things. I'm an adept. I have a good pay grade, a modest hab, a cat and a family that I love. A family that I'm scared for and worried about. A family that I'm most likely never going to be able to see again. I'm not an idiot. Maddy told me time and time again while we were on our way back up from the lower hive that I'd be able to go and try to talk to them, talk them into getting off-world and taking a vacation, getting away before the wrath of the Emperor starts falling from the sky.

But as I said I'm not an idiot. They're talking about bombarding the hive - all of the hives - to combat this menace. They're not going to let me walk back into a situation that we know is compromised. We know the cult has Arlean. We know they've made contact with my family in some fashion. We know they're looking for me, likely to try and extract what I know, to gauge how much of a threat Maddy and I might prove to be. Our only chance at succeeding at cutting out this cancer will be to get the attack underway, a coordinated strike at the Kai-Ten ships and the orbital bombardment happening simultaneously, trying to get them all in one fell swoop.

I'm never going to be able to see my family again. Even if I declined to have any further part in this, refused to help them in any further capacity, I know too much of their planning and their identities to be allowed to go back to a place where the cult could so easily get me. I could see the line of the pistol hidden under Maddy's coat. She wasn't trying to hide it from me.

A month ago, she was telling me she loved me. Today she came to find me with the explicit knowledge that if she found me and thought I was in any way compromised, she would be executing me.

I broke down. I wept on my knees, behind a dumpster in an alley. At that second, I didn't care if she pulled the pistol and sprayed my brains across the wall behind me. At least then I wouldn't have to live with the weight of the knowledge I have. But I couldn’t beg her to kill me, I'm too much of a coward even for that.

Instead, she knelt with me and held me. Finally, in that alley by the magrail station, she talked to me again. Her mission had been to infiltrate and find out what she could about the Kai-Tens, that much I already knew. But she says that she hadn't been told to seduce and use a local loser to make her way. She said that she'd genuinely found me sweet and interesting and fun to spend time with. That yes, having a local fling would serve to help cement her cover story as well as provide her another bolt hole, but it wasn't an ordered part of her mission, and that she didn't "choose" me for this purpose so much as she just went with things when she realised that she was attracted to me and that I in turn was attracted to her. I asked her what would have happened when her mission moved on, what would have happened to me, with me if things hadn't proceeded the way they had. She said she didn't know. She hadn't thought that far, but it was likely she would have had to find a way to break up with me, and leave me behind.

It would have hurt, but at least then there would be little to no way that I'd know she was lying to me for so long. And at least I'd be unaware when the bombardment cannons were firing down on us from above.

I didn't really have much to say to that, but she wasn't finished. She said that despite everything, there was nothing false about how she felt about me, that her feelings were real and she meant what she said when we were together. I don't know how I feel about that. I fell in love with Maddy. But she's not the girl I fell in love with. That girl was a lie, she was made up for a purpose. Even if that purpose wasn't explicitly to fuck with me, she was still not… her.

But if I said I wasn't still attracted to her, that would be a lie. She lied to me, but I understand why she lied. It wasn't a lie intended to hurt me, the lie was already in place when she met me. And though I was hurting, I felt abruptly and painfully sorry for her in that moment. To fall for someone she knew that she'd always have to leave, to not be able to tell them the truth despite how you felt about them. It must be a lonely life.

I… don't know how I feel about her just yet. Despite my empathy for her situation, it still hurt to be lied to like I was. To know that she would have let me fall in love with her knowing that she would have to break my heart. But I don't hate her for it. I feel sorry. For both of us.

Maybe we could work it out.


	64. Madalene's Report - Primoday, Gobert 5th 067.M42

Remy reports that he has secured a shuttle, however transit between the residential areas of the hive and the landing docks is being watched. He thinks he has a way through, but we will need to be ready to move immediately on his word in the next day. We are packed and awaiting his say-so.

Rewalt has been in a state of despondency since his "walk" the other day. I fear we've been somewhat necessarily callous in our detachment from this world, but it pays to remember sometimes that this is the man's home. His friends, family and life are all centred on this world - this hive, the few levels that he occupies. He is a talented adept - Kel reports he has a native data-affinity somewhere in the vein of her own, and he could be a boon to the service of the Inquisition - if we handle this sensitively. Which is why I will encourage you to encrypt this record and not allow him access to it if it can be avoided.

Adding to Rewalt's despondency has been the silence from his family. It's been nearly two weeks since they last tried to make contact with him, and by his reporting it's a sure thing that the cult has been in direct contact with them - at the very least they've driven Arlean to open a line to them in the hope of urging him out of hiding. When this was unsuccessful, they appear to have stopped trying for now, at least through their prior avenues. We can be thankful that their saturation of these mid-levels appears to be much lower than they would like. There are enough to ensure that when the uprising comes from beneath it will be met and assisted by sympathisers along the way, but they simply don't have the resources to blanket the area looking for him, and by extension us, thank the Throne.

However his family was a loose end that needed tying up. With Remy's news that he'd secured our way off-world to try to make our way through to the Navy fleet, it's likely that Rewalt would be driven to try to make a final break or appeal for trying to preserve his family - especially his niece Mei. I have to admit a certain selfishness in not wanting him to throw his life away on this. It may be foolish and possibly selfish, but I want him to come with us, I want him to live. He could go so far, he's tenacious and intelligent and as I have already reported, he could be a vital tool and an essential component of your operations. Nate agrees with me, and I was tasked with tying up the loose end before it had a chance to become a bigger problem.

At 0347 I arrived at the Mason family's hab block. Much as suspected, there were hybrids posted to watch the approach to the building. Given the attempts to use psychic powers to locate Mason and myself on our flight from the lower levels, I suspect there may be a Magus at play, though we were unable to locate him on our recent reconnaissance. With the observation of the entrance, it did make finding an alternate method of ingress a priority. Thankfully these mid-hive hab-blocks are only concerned with security up to a certain point - lots of balconies, windows and doors that are only secured with simple locking mechanisms. And while they'd thought to monitor the entrance to the Mason family's block, they didn't seem to have thought to pay the same attention to the observation of the adjoining blocks or the rear of the upper levels of the building. I think they were relying on Rewalt's filial piety to send him marching in the front door like the upstanding citizen and good son that he is.

It was easy enough to find my way up through one of the adjoining hab blocks to the level that Rewalt's family lived on and grapple my way across to one of their neighbour's balconies. It didn't appear that there was a guard posted on the Mason balcony, though I had my own suspicious as to why that would be.

I pray to the Emperor that Rewalt never knows what I found when I finally managed to break my way past the lock on his parents' balcony. I don't know what I'll tell him. Probably that the cult were done with them once they'd tried and failed to coax him to come back to them, and they killed them. It's a lie, but it's a lie that I think he'll need. And not just because I don't want him to think I'm a monster, though that's a lie that I'll tell myself to get through the day.

Everything looked normal. A normal, Imperial family hab. The prayer to the Emperor was still framed on the wall, Aquilas abounded. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. His parents were asleep in their room, Mei in hers. There were no cultists in evidence, no hybrids lurking in the spare room, no purestrain hulking in the corner as a bodyguard. It was the little scrap of fur that first gave away that something was truly wrong. Noodles should have been there. Noodles had been there. A splash of blood on a wall, a scrap of fur on the corner of a doorway were all that I could find of her. Mei loved that kitten, and I couldn't honestly see Bennet or Heidy being so brutal either. But it made me fear the worst. Animals can sense the taint and they respond so very negatively to hybrids and Contagii.

Bennet and Heidy were sleeping in their room. Thankfully the infected don't inherit any of the Genestealer's enhanced senses or any other preternatural "gifts". So it was easy enough to sneak in on a sleeping middle-aged couple without waking them. Moving the covers to examine their bodies was harder to do, but with some care I was able to. Both displayed clear signs of contagion; Bennet had a barely-healed gash on his thorax, in the typical placement for a non-combat insemination, just beneath the ribcage. Heidy's infection was easier to see, the blue pallor to her skin glaringly obvious in the stablight. Her nightgown made it too difficult to actually confirm an insemination wound on first sight, but given Bennet's condition and the tone of her skin I was confident enough to do what needed to be done. A sufficiently high dose of tranq, straight into the bloodstream coupled with a pillow to the face. I gave Heidy her peace first, as it seemed from their breathing patterns that she would be the lighter sleeper. She struggled some, but not enough to wake Bennet, and his despatch was equally swift. Post-mortem I was able to confirm that Heidy bore a similar wound to her husband. There was no question. They'd been infected, and from the advancement of their wound healing it looks very likely that the infection occurred before Rewalt and I had even made our way back up from the lower hive. There was never going to be any saving them.

After that I had to take care of Mei. It was difficult to make myself go into the girl's room. I wanted to believe that not even a Genestealer cult would be so monstrous as to subject a child to their perversion. As well you would know, however, it was at best a vain hope. She was asleep when I opened the door, but she woke up when I entered. I remembered Rewalt saying she'd been a light sleeper ever since his parents had adopted her and I'd accounted for this and taken my hood off before I came in, so thankfully at least she didn't scream at me. At least with her awake, I was able to turn the light on to get a good look at her. She seemed to be feverish, and when I asked how she was feeling, she told me that she'd felt sick for a little bit, her chest hurt and she was having bad dreams. I asked her if I could have a look at where it hurt and she showed me. The implantation site was more raw than Heidy or Bennet's. I don't know if she took longer to heal, or if her infection was more recent, but the outcome is ultimately the same. I told her that I had a shot to give her, that Rewalt had asked me to bring some medicine to make her feel better. She held her little arm out to me, and she didn't even cry when I put the needle into her vein.

I made it quiet and quick, it was the least I could do. For them and for Rewalt both. If he ever finds this report, at least he'll know I did my best to minimise their pain, for all of them. And if he can't ever forgive me, I hope at least that the Emperor will.


	65. Primoday, Gobert 5th 067.M42

I thought the end of my life would feel more like… Something. Anything would be welcome right now. I just feel empty. Maybe this is how it ends. Not everyone can go out with a bang, it just all fades to nothing.

Maddy went out somewhere in the night, without telling anyone where she was going. I'm pretty sure that she thought I at least was asleep, but who are we kidding. I don't sleep these days. Not well, anyway.

Part of me considered following her, seeing what she was up to. But I'm not an assassin. I'm not built to follow people. She would have caught me before I could even have gotten an idea of where she was going. I worried, wondered what she was up to, if she was getting herself in danger. But she can survive it. She lived a dangerous life before she met me, and I've seen her fight. I know she can handle herself. I shouldn't worry.

I ended up dozing off again, drifting and trying to get back to sleep on and off. I don't know exactly when she got back. I didn't hear the hab door open at all. Though that might have been what woke me from my doze. I was dreaming about something monstrous and bloated, lurking in the shadows and reaching for me with claws that flashed silver just before they sank into me. The same dream I've been having every time I've tried to sleep for about a week now. What little sleep I'm getting isn't restful, I'm waking up feeling more and more melancholy every day. I just wanted this to be over, one way or another.

I could hear her and Nate talking when I woke up again, it was somewhere around first bell, maybe six or just after. Their voices were pitched low on the other side of the door, I could recognise the tones but not the individual words. She sounded upset by something. Mad? Sad? It was hard to tell without knowing exactly what she was saying. I wondered if I should have gone out there and interrupted but I suspected if it was something I needed to know, that I'd be told in time. If it wasn't, then… Inquisition. They're built on secrets and they're so very good at not telling you anything that they think you're not required to know.

Turns out I wasn't wrong. After we'd all had breakfast, Maddy asked me to go for a walk with her. I nearly refused. What would she do if I didn't? But I could see it in her eyes, something haunted and pained. I still think she's beautiful, the most beautiful woman I've ever known. And her pain makes my heart clench. So I agreed, we took a walk. She took my hand as we walked, and for a few moments I was able to forget everything. My exhaustion. My fear. The knowledge that there is a ticking chron counting down the seconds to the destruction of my world. For a few moments I was Scribe-Adept Rewalt Mason again, taking my girlfriend Transcript-Adept Madalene Kader for a walk. Maybe we'd go and get some noodles. Perhaps go and watch a scrumball match. 

Perhaps flee the planet while an orbital bombardment levelled the cities and settlements to dust.

She took me to one of the small public parks a little way from our hab. It wasn't much, a few trees adapted to grow in the biolumen glow of a hive, a scrubby patch of moss-grass and a bench. But at least it wasn't the hab. At least it was somewhere outside, where we were away from the rest of the group, and I wasn't hemmed in by four plain ferrocrete walls painted dingy beige.

We sat in silence for a while, watching other citizens go about their duties. A very few seemed to have nowhere in particular to go, just seemed to be watching. The rest all had somewhere to be. Ferrying scrolls and data-slates around, carrying boxes and items and goods. Leading trains of servitors hauling wheeled carts of merchandise. There was even the odd servo-skull or three, zipping along on pre-programmed missions, occasionally pausing and scanning someone with their optic before heading off again. All oblivious to the doom that surrounded them from above and below.

It took me some time as we sat there to realise that Maddy was crying as she watched the people going past, silent tears running down her cheeks as we observed them. I asked her if she was crying for them and she admitted that she was sad for them, but she wasn't crying for them in particular. Something in the way she said it, the way she looked at me when she said it made my heart hurt and my breath freeze. 

She told me where she went in the night. She went to find my family, to see if there was any way we could save them. Kel could have falsified documents, Nate could have pulled authority to get them off world. But she said it was too late, said they were already gone. The cult had gotten them. 

I didn't want to believe her. She'd lied to me about who she was, why she was here. Who was to say that this wasn't a lie too?

I think that I hurt her.

She reminded me about Arlean. We knew the cult had her. We knew that she'd gotten in touch with my family. She said to me that she knew how important my family was to me. How much I wanted to save them. She said that she loved my family. Though she'd lied about who she was, she'd never lied about how she felt about me, how she felt about meeting Mum and Dad and Mei. She told me about finding the evidence that… something… had happened to Noodles, showed me the little feathery toy that she'd bought for her, she'd picked it up when she went there to see what could be salvaged.

Arlean's gone. Mum, Dad and Mei are gone. Cordell is off-world again. The only one left is Lizzy. We can't reach her, she's a servant of the Machine God now. We can't just go and remove her from their service. Even the Inquisition doesn't have reach like that. Apart from her, I have nothing left, and even she is lost to me. 

Maddy said that orbital bombardment is not something that happens immediately, it takes time to arrange. And the Mechanicus may have time and ability to remove themselves from the world, they are often the most aware of the movement of ships in orbit, and the first to recognise when a strike is coming.

I tried to find it in me to care any more, but I just… don't. Scour it in the Emperor's name and leave the foul Xeno to choke on the ashes.


	66. Quartday, Gobert 8th 067.M42

We had to move today. After nearly a week of nothing but waiting and wondering, Remy finally came back in the night and told us we had to get out, he'd found us a ship.

We'd all been waiting for him, so we had what we needed packed and ready. We've been living out of packs and kitbags, washing clothes as we wear them, making sure we were ready to bug out at any moment. All of us had been getting on each other's nerves. I wasn't allowed to go out too often, in case one of the cult's lap-dogs caught sight of me and traced me back to our hideout. Maddy wanted to stay with me, she didn't feel right that I was trapped, essentially. The others came and went as they wanted, but nobody wanted to be too far from the hab in case Remy returned in a hurry - we couldn’t afford to have anyone too far away.

When he came, it was in a Saints-damned hurry. We got no vox warning, nothing. We were just resting, trying to sleep and suddenly he was there, knocking out the code on the door and telling us we needed to get our gear and move. He didn't have to tell us twice, we were out the door almost before he'd finished saying anything. Nate wouldn't let us linger even if we'd wanted to.

I'll admit, there was a part of me that wanted to tell them to just go without me. The urge was strong, it was on the tip of my tongue. Just go. Send your orbital bombardment. Leave me here to die in peace. But something stopped me, I'm not entirely sure what it was. A sense of duty. The fact that out of everything, one of the few things I haven't lost is Maddy, even if I’m not entirely sure whether I actually had her or not in the first place. I couldn’t bring myself to just throw it in. Not like that. So I picked up my gear and followed the rest of them.

Remy kept us moving through the back streets and the alleys, scouting ahead with Maddy to make sure it was clear before coming back and leading the rest of us through when they could. He said that the followers of the cult have gotten more bold, the corruption is spreading, and it took him some time to find a shuttle that he could be assured didn't have some link to a corrupted organisation. I asked if that meant what I thought it did, that the corruption was potentially spreading off world to the rest of the planets and stations in the system, and if it was how could be expect to stop it?

Nate told me that the Inquisition had means, more than just a cell of acolytes, to deal with an infestation of this scale. In the short term, destroying the bulk of the cult on Asphodel and the creatures pulling its strings will apparently disrupt the cult and throw any offshoots of it into disarray, allowing the other Inquisitorial agents to hunt them down and ensure they don't spread any further. But apparently the reason it's so urgent for us to get to the Navy is because the rest of the agents that the Inquisitor can bring to bear are still several weeks away yet.

The Navy will also be able to tie up and engage the Kai-Tens, hopefully disabling their warp-capable craft and stopping them from being able to escape. Obviously any planning about the void tactics will be up to the Navy and run past their Captains and tacticians, but Nate said he will be urging them to move first on the Kai-Ten fleet and at least cripple them, before turning their guns on Asphodel. It makes sense. If we bombard the planet without dealing with the fleet, that gives the Kai-Tens a chance to flee and potentially spread their corruption and foulness to even more places - if they haven't yet already.

I don't know what I expected when it came to making our escape. So many other things have gone so wrong, the cult has seemed to be ahead of us every step of the way. I expected that we'd get to the shuttle port to find the entire might of the cult, the mutants and corrupted followers and the genestealer-beasts arrayed ahead of us. Maybe that they'd have turned the Arbites against us, or every shuttle would be damaged and smoking, or we'd find that Remy had been caught and corrupted and was leading us directly into a trap. But we didn't. He wasn't. We made our way to the shuttle port and everything seemed normal. Servitors were loading cargo lighters, deck crew were performing repairs, refuelling vessels and hauling shuttles from their holding spaces out to the launch platform. Pilots and passengers were coming and going, normal men and women, no strangely bald or oddly pallid figures, no hunched and twisted forms wrapped and hidden in robes. We made our way through the Administratum checkpoint, handing over the papers that Kel had written up for us. No alarms went off, we weren't diverted for any extra scrutiny of our documents, and we were sent through on our way with a few stamps and a cursory question or two about our intended destination.

And now here we are, boarded on our shuttle and waiting in the launch queue. We're not free and clear yet. I'm still waiting for something to start climbing over our shuttle and trying to prise its way inside. Or for us to get off the launch pad and a missile to lock onto us, or for the engines to just explode for no reason. But for the first time it feels like something might have gone our way. Now we just need to figure out how to get a Navy fleet to listen to us. I hope Nate has something up his sleeve, because right now to me it seems like we're a series of madmen with some circumstantial evidence.


End file.
